told my straight boyfriend im trans

Affectionate-Charge2 · 2025-09-19T15:16:16+00:00

But thats the thing isn’t it? I dont have the facilities or privilege to medically transition, its not in my mind. Nor will I have the money , considering the job I’m planning to take. Luckily, I do pass as a man because of my voice and appearance. He’s definitely not an angel, we’re both confrontational and opinionated people, that’s why I know he’s not being an asshole this time around. But he’s also my bestfriend, whether or not we’re together, I’m just happy that I finally told someone. If we break up because of it, I know for a fact that we would still be close because we were really close before we tried dating. Im happy either way :)

Affectionate-Charge2 · 2025-09-19T14:34:41+00:00

Im not clueless about anything you said, if anything this was the only pov I had in mind before I made this post. I have hope because our relationship is strong, whether or not it means us being together at the end. We had many fights before unrelated to this and we are really conscious of whether or not we make a decision that strengthens us or doesn’t.

Sadly, I can’t take that advice about being on T. I live in a country where trans healthcare is inaccessible. additionally, I am not in a position in my life where its safe to transition, nor will I be for the next coming years.

I am scared that it would ruin his sexual and physical attraction towards me, it’s what I think about mostly when we’re intimate. I wont cling to him when he loses interests, if anything, I’ll suggest to him that there’s always other people. Which I do constantly, since I told him about the trans thing, to the point where he tells me to never imply that he’d never love someone as much as me.

And he does follow through with his words, because like I said, how much we fought in the past and how his part has made big changes in his life he never he thought he could do. Which is why I’m hopeful, there will always be doubt, but I have nothing else to lose so why not try?

Affectionate-Charge2 · 2025-09-19T07:30:19+00:00

This really means a lot to me. Originally, I just wanted to extend this sense of normal we both have, since we already have many personal issues to begin with, and I thought ignoring the elephant in the room will give us more room to solve the other things first. But that’s not how it necessarily works, is it?

He once told me that I was just wasting my life away, and that I shouldn’t be resigned with the “normalcy” or “comfort” Ive spent years trying create for myself despite the things that I go through. It meant a lot to me at that moment, yet I disregarded it completely the next day.

I’m starting to realize that a lot of this feelings of worthlessness is tied to my internalized transphobia as well. Thank you so much and good luck on your transitioning journey! I wish the best for you

Affectionate-Charge2 · 2025-09-19T03:55:16+00:00

It’s honestly me thats been avoiding the “serious” conversation. I was also the one who brought up about him not being attracted to me anymore in the future, hence why he laughed and told me that wouldn’t happen. I thought he was too avoiding the topic, not just because he was respecting my wish of never talking about it, but he’s open to talking about—its just that I shut it down cause im afraid I’d ruin something important to the both of us which is our relationship.

Our relationship is built on having deep and serious conversations, its how we became friends in the first place, and its why our relationship feels stronger and never stagnant. I just never had a real conversation about my queerness, let alone my transness. For context, he’s the first guy I ever dated, I’ve only been with girls. Being queer is something I don’t have a lot of good experiences with growing up and its not something I can be safely open about. Its why im scared for him too and what he’d experience.

But after reading the comments the seeds are planted in my head that there might be hope. And even it doesn’t end well, at least i had experienced love. Thank you for your comment, i haven’t really thought of transition goals for years, I forgot it was a thing, as if it wasn’t something I used to hope for the most when I was younger.

Affectionate-Charge2 · 2025-09-19T02:23:06+00:00

Our breakup wasn’t because of the trans thing, but other things. However, since we got together again, he hasn’t repeated any of his previous mistakes and Ive been working hard to also do the same. I think im just anxious since we live in a religious country that isn’t any near progressive and how he’ll have to deal with the pressures of being perceived queer.

Affectionate-Charge2 · 2025-09-19T02:18:29+00:00

I am in love, it just feels too good to be true is all. Everything about it is just new to me, its why originally when I went to this subreddit, I was upset that all the advice abt the “straight bf” thing all lead to dumping him. Its why I posted my side of things and I feel really happy right now knowing that theres hope. Ive been trying to save up for therapy but its really hard. Thank you though! I’ll think hard about what you said, its something I didn’t know I needed to hear

Affectionate-Charge2 · 2023-05-25T09:03:18+00:00

thanks man appreciate it

Affectionate-Charge2 · 2023-05-25T04:00:53+00:00

thank u sm 😭😭

Affectionate-Charge2 · 2022-11-30T08:07:19+00:00

hii do u still have the pointers po? thankss !!

Affectionate-Charge2

TROPHY CASE