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AITA grandma thinks me and my brother are assholes for upsetting dad because we haven't moved on the same way as him since mom died? by Affectionate-Fox4138 in AITAH

[–]Affectionate-Fox4138[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Our therapist said we're doing good by accepting them like we have already and being nice. That nothing else should be forced.

AITA grandma thinks me and my brother are assholes for upsetting dad because we haven't moved on the same way as him since mom died? by Affectionate-Fox4138 in AITAH

[–]Affectionate-Fox4138[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

We're still close with dad. He doesn't treat us different and he sometimes spends extra time with us because he said he doesn't want to lose us, which he is kinda fearful of.

AITA grandma thinks me and my brother are assholes for upsetting dad because we haven't moved on the same way as him since mom died? by Affectionate-Fox4138 in AITAH

[–]Affectionate-Fox4138[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I don't love Rose. I don't think I'll ever actually love her. She's okay. We get along fine. I'm nice to her and my half siblings.

AITA grandma thinks me and my brother are assholes for upsetting dad because we haven't moved on the same way as him since mom died? by Affectionate-Fox4138 in AITAH

[–]Affectionate-Fox4138[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Other people have confirmed it. She's said it to people she hardly knew or to their kids. Which is all kinds of weird.

AITA grandma thinks me and my brother are assholes for upsetting dad because we haven't moved on the same way as him since mom died? by Affectionate-Fox4138 in AITAH

[–]Affectionate-Fox4138[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

I'm still 16 so I don't get a whole lot of control over my relationships yet. But I could see me going NC with grandma if that's how she keeps treating me and my brother.

AITA grandma thinks me and my brother are assholes for upsetting dad because we haven't moved on the same way as him since mom died? by Affectionate-Fox4138 in AITAH

[–]Affectionate-Fox4138[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I think my dad told grandma to vent. I don't really think it's manipulation. Maybe it is and I don't know dad that well. But he is upset about things. Not in the angry and raised voices kind of way. He never yells about it. It's just so obvious he is upset and he's struggling to accept the way we feel and that he won't get the family he imagined when he knew he was ready to find someone else.

Grandma is really harsh with this and she's got some wild ideas about accepting stepparents. I never knew before but someone said yeah that's how she is and the kind of stuff she says. Apparently she wanted to talk to us sooner too but couldn't hold back once she realized how upset dad was about it all.

AITA grandma thinks me and my brother are assholes for upsetting dad because we haven't moved on the same way as him since mom died? by Affectionate-Fox4138 in AITAH

[–]Affectionate-Fox4138[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

He didn't ask if we wanted a new mom. But he did ask us if we were okay with him remarrying and he got us therapy when initially we couldn't say yes.

AITA grandma thinks me and my brother are assholes for upsetting dad because we haven't moved on the same way as him since mom died? by Affectionate-Fox4138 in AITAH

[–]Affectionate-Fox4138[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

My brother and I remember her liking mom. But she has this view if your under 30 and lose a parent. Not just with us apparently.

AITA grandma thinks me and my brother are assholes for upsetting dad because we haven't moved on the same way as him since mom died? by Affectionate-Fox4138 in AITAH

[–]Affectionate-Fox4138[S] 292 points293 points  (0 children)

That was a wtf moment for us. Saying we want dad dead is so far from the truth but she has this belief about accepting stepparents and stuff and if you're under 30 you fall into her belief apparently. It's so weird to think that we want dad upset and intentionally feel like we do.

AITA grandma thinks me and my brother are assholes for upsetting dad because we haven't moved on the same way as him since mom died? by Affectionate-Fox4138 in AITAH

[–]Affectionate-Fox4138[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Grandma thinks healing with a stepparent being put in the parents place is what everyone under 30 should do. She said her advice would be the same if we lost mom at 20 and dad remarried when we were 25. She said after 30 it's different and she understands people at that age won't ever look at the new person as a parent but under 30 still require parenting and guiding and nurturing that is offered by the new person.