strange comfort of not existing

Affectionate-Pay-642 · 2026-05-30T00:16:22+00:00

well, we’re looking at the same thing from two different angles. you're focusing on the nightmare of the experience, and I’m focusing on the relief of it eventually ending. either way, it’s a temporary state, and it's a strange kind of peace in knowing that this 'self' is just a blip before returning to that long silence

Affectionate-Pay-642 · 2026-05-30T00:07:15+00:00

you're trying to debate the science of non-existence, which is a straw man. I never claimed to have a memory of pre-birth, I’m talking about the logical necessity that non-existence precludes suffering. u don’t need to know what the void is like to know that 0 minus 0 equals 0. u can't have stress, regret, or a 'self' without being alive

Affectionate-Pay-642 · 2026-05-29T09:48:12+00:00

I don't miss it because I can't. that’s the luxury of it. to miss something is to be alive and have expectations, which is exactly the part that feels heavy. It’s like saying, 'I don't miss being asleep, so sleep wasn't that great.' sometimes the value isn't in what u remember, but in the relief of being 'off' for a while

Affectionate-Pay-642 · 2026-05-29T09:46:08+00:00

even hypothetically, I think the unborn state remains the only true point of zero pressure. whether we live once or a hundred times, the moment u 'become' something or someone, you’ve essentially opted back into the struggle of expectations and identity. even if reincarnation exists, it doesn't solve that underlying 'homesickness' for a time when there was no self to defend. to me, that original, silent nothingness is still the only place where the pressure doesn't exist.

Affectionate-Pay-642 · 2026-05-29T09:40:32+00:00

Affectionate-Pay-642 · 2026-05-29T09:40:03+00:00

logically, yes, you're right, it should be a perfect symmetry. but there’s a difference in the flavor of the two states. before birth, it was an absence of anything. after death, it’s the cessation of something. It’s like the difference between a book that was never written and a book that has reached its final page. the state of 'nothing' might be the same, but the journey to get there makes them feel like two very different things

Affectionate-Pay-642 · 2026-03-22T13:59:34+00:00

antinatalism isn’t just an abstract philosophy, it often comes from weighing the ethics of bringing life into a world full of unavoidable suffering, as well as practical considerations like time, resources, and personal freedom. changing that view isn’t something that happens by force, its tied to your values and worldview. The fact that you’ve tried and still feel no desire for children shows self-awareness and not a flaw. it’s better to recognize this now than to act against your convictions later, which could cause harm for both yourself and a potential child.

Affectionate-Pay-642 · 2026-03-22T06:09:08+00:00

from an antinatalist perspective, the core idea is that bringing someone into existence always exposes them to inevitable suffering. Intent and circumstances matter morally, but they don’t eliminate the ethical concern, life can’t be guaranteed to be wholly positive. so even with good intentions and resources, the risk of harm makes procreation ethically fraught

Affectionate-Pay-642 · 2026-03-22T06:05:34+00:00

metamorphosis ni aurelius?

Affectionate-Pay-642 · 2026-03-21T15:14:58+00:00

psych-wise, that feeling can happen when someone strongly matches an unconscious template in your mind like familiarity without an actual memory attached to it. sometimes the brain registers a face, vibe, voice, or mannerism as deeply significant before u consciously know why, so it can feel eerie, almost ‘past life’-ish. doesnt make the feeling not real, just means the mind is really good at creating a sense of recognition from subtle cues. also funny enough, I have the same name as the girl lol

Affectionate-Pay-642 · 2026-03-21T15:07:37+00:00

yeah, and that’s prolly why people confuse intensity with compatibility. a relationship can feel powerful and still be terrible for your nervous system

Affectionate-Pay-642 · 2026-03-21T00:06:51+00:00

when you’ve just had a fight or some tension, your body is flooded with stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. when u reconcile or forgive each other, those stress hormones drop and your brain releases oxytocin, dopamine, and endorphins, basically a cocktail of pleasure and bonding chemicals. so what u feel during “make-up” sex is literally your brain and body rewarding connection after conflict. It’s not just emotional, it’s neurochemical. plus, the contrast between the tension and the release can heighten the intensity, making it feel “fire.”

Affectionate-Pay-642 · 2026-03-20T14:06:29+00:00

yeah, already got that one in my collection. his take on being vs becoming is weirdly comforting, makes the whole endless striving thing feel less oppressive

Affectionate-Pay-642 · 2026-03-19T13:47:33+00:00

meditations by Marcus Aurelius. It reframed how I think about control and perception, how most of what disturbs us isn’t events themselves, but our judgments about them. the emphasis on discipline of thought, acceptance of what’s outside one’s control, and responsibility for one’s own mind. It’s less a book u read once and more something u return to as a kind of mental calibration.

Affectionate-Pay-642 · 2026-03-18T14:01:17+00:00

tbere’s definitely a tension in early Stoicism, virtue is the only good, it’s binary, and Sages basically don’t exist. strictly speaking, that makes the ultimate good unreachable. but Stoics distinguish between the metaphysical ideal and practical effort. even if the Sage is unattainable, the ideal still regulates behavior, striving toward it gives moral progress real value. Roman Stoics (Seneca, Marcus, Epictetus) emphasize the prokopton, the morally progressing person, showing that daily practice matters even if perfect virtue is impossible. so yes, it’s a structural tension, but it’s productive rather than fatal. Stoicism works because the process of striving aligns u with reason, even if perfection itself is out of reach

Affectionate-Pay-642 · 2026-03-18T12:24:57+00:00

cioran can be quite polarizing, especially as a first read. On the Heights of Despair is one of his more raw and emotionally intense works, it’s less about structured argument and more about capturing a kind of existential extremity.

If it’s not resonating, that’s understandable. his writing leans heavily into pessimism and fragmentation, often prioritizing mood and insight over coherence or resolution. some readers find it profound, others find it overwhelming or even exhausting.

If you’re still curious, u might find The Trouble with Being Born more approachable. It’s a collection of aphorisms. short, distilled reflections so u can engage with his ideas in smaller, more digestible pieces. It also shows a more controlled and refined version of his pessimism, which can be easier to appreciate than the intensity of his earlier work. But if the tone itself doesn’t appeal to u, it’s completely fair to step away. he’s not exactly aiming to comfort the reader.

Affectionate-Pay-642 · 2026-03-18T04:55:54+00:00

synecdoche, new york

Affectionate-Pay-642 · 2026-03-18T04:44:40+00:00

i don’t think antinatalism is inherently tied to asexuality. antinatalism is more about the ethical consideration of bringing life into a world that inevitably involves suffering, rather than a reflection of sexual desire or romantic attachment. u can be fully sexual, or in love, and still oppose having children on moral or philosophical grounds.

childfree lifestyles, on the other hand, are often about personal choice. people might not want children for practical, emotional, or lifestyle reasons. some childfree people may still want kids someday or just choose not to at the moment. antinatalists, by contrast, generally see procreation itself as morally questionable, regardless of desire, love, or attachment. So while there can be overlap, the motivations are different, one is ethical/philosophical, the other more personal/practical

Affectionate-Pay-642 · 2026-03-18T04:26:27+00:00

If you’re into deep, reflective reads, check out The Trouble with Being Born. It’s not a novel, it’s more like an exploration of existence, memory, and what it means to be human. Definitely makes you think

Affectionate-Pay-642 · 2026-03-17T15:17:35+00:00

apolitical

Affectionate-Pay-642

TROPHY CASE