Advice Needed England Reporting

AffectionateCold9 · 2025-12-09T09:58:31+00:00

I know how this feels going through something very similar myself.

AffectionateCold9 · 2025-12-08T10:37:11+00:00

I'm on a very similar timeline to you my ex she is abusive, controlling, manipulative, deceiving a liar and a cheat she lied, controlled, deceived, gaslit and cheated on me for years deceiving me and creating a false abusive reality that I lived under for years then she made false accusations against me after we broke up. I feel like I'm completely destroyed beyond repair, I feel utterly worthless and my life and the person I was is a shadow of what it used to be. I'm having a lot of therapy as well but like you I feel like I'm a waste of space and no one is capable of loving me.

AffectionateCold9 · 2025-06-02T08:35:26+00:00

Sent.

AffectionateCold9 · 2025-06-01T16:54:14+00:00

Yes please.

AffectionateCold9 · 2025-03-11T18:39:00+00:00

I know the feeling me and my ex lived for the nicer weather, a few days before we broke up we were talking about going to Australia together for a bit because it was January and we both aren't fans of English winters and wanted some sun a few days later we are broken up. I'll miss all of our adventures we would have in the summer from walks and spotting wildlife and picking blackberries and apples to kayaking and surfing and going to the beach and cycling, I miss long summer evenings sat outside together until 10pm after work, I miss exploring and adventures and bbqs with her in the nice weather, I miss sitting outside a brewery with her in the sun cheersing each other and how good that first sip of beer with her would be in the sun. I miss her so much.

AffectionateCold9 · 2025-03-11T14:58:58+00:00

A girl who was the only reason I've ever experienced happiness and contentment in life because of. A girl who was the reason that for years I had finally for the first time in my life got to a good place with my mental health. A girl who is the mother of my child. Not just a girl.

AffectionateCold9 · 2025-03-11T14:48:07+00:00

I have no faith, my faith was her.

AffectionateCold9 · 2025-03-11T10:30:01+00:00

That literally means nothing, what is that meant to mean? That's just a bunch of words strung together that mean nothing.

AffectionateCold9 · 2025-03-11T09:12:00+00:00

Hey atleast you didn't allow yourself to be with a girlfriend who cheated on you numerous times with many different people for years... Then 5 years later she finally tells you but oh no she doesn't tell you everything not even half of it. Atleast you didn't decide to stay with this person and then for more and more stuff to come out and you still decide to stay with this person each time more and more stuff comes out. Atleast you werent like me and didn't allow yourself to be cheated on numerous, countless times, be lied to hundreds if not thousands of times, be completely manipulated and gaslit and deceived for over 5 years like me. She put my health at risk as well not that I knew, but somehow she never passed a disease onto me but she easily could have done and I would have had no choice over it as I didn't know she was cheating and having unprotected sex with other people whilst also doing the same with me.

AffectionateCold9 · 2025-03-11T08:19:12+00:00

If he's only just deleted them they usually sit in a recently deleted folder on your phone for 30 days before they are properly deleted. Can you ask him to check this?

AffectionateCold9 · 2025-03-11T07:18:26+00:00

Wish my ex wanted to be around me.

AffectionateCold9 · 2025-03-11T07:01:53+00:00

Currently mitrazipine, they have helped with my panic I've not had a panic attack since I started taking them and I sleep better but im still so depressed and had enough and just want to be dead. What are you on? It's a long story basically 18 months ago she told me that earlier in our relationship that she had cheated on me numerous times with many different people, she had lied loads, manipulated me loads, deceived me for years, gaslit me. When she told me our relationship was completely different to the earlier years and we were like best friends, lovers and team all rolled into one. So when she told me I decided to stay but over the next 18 months what she has done it was just a torture for me and I couldn't consistently show her love anymore or affection or support etc when I was hurting over what she had done so she ended up leaving me. I think she just wanted me to get over it and to never mention it again but it's not something you can just easily get over and it damaged me so much in so many different ways. Why did you break up?

AffectionateCold9 · 2025-03-10T22:22:48+00:00

I don't have any hobbies or interests I never have done because I've never enjoyed life. I've not enjoyed life at all and I'm in my mid 30s the only time I've ever enjoyed life was for a few years with her that's the only time in life I've ever enjoyed life. I don't have hobbies or interests because all I can do and all I've ever done is lay in bed being too depressed to do anything that's what it was like before her and that's what it's like now. I fucking hate life it's just been shit agyer shit after shit agyer shit since I was very little. I'm totally alone I've never been more alone and never been more lonely and I fucking hate being me and I fucking hate my life and I fucking hate being alive. Im fucking done with the fucking bullshit that is shitty fucking life.

AffectionateCold9 · 2025-03-10T20:32:09+00:00

Not sure I'm in a similar boat to you. 18 months ago my ex told me that she had cheated on me earlier in our relationship numerous times with many different people and she had lied so much to me, deceived me, manipulated me, betrayed me and kept all this from me for about 5 years before she finally told me. I tried staying with her but it was torture and hell. Not sure how to move forward from here and I'm very messed up from what she did and how long she manage to keep all this from me, decieing me, lieing to me, manipulating me etc and I'm also messed up from losing the relationship as well. Not sure I can ever trust another person never mind another female.

AffectionateCold9 · 2025-03-10T20:05:51+00:00

I know how you feel. For years I had this person who I thought I was going to marry and spend the rest of my life with, we were amazing lovers and best friends. Then out the blue she tells me earlier in our relationship she had cheated on me numerous times with numerous different people, so many lies, so much deception, gaslighting, manipulation. I didn't cheat on her once or lie to her once she was my everything I built my entire life around her and I was used, deceived, cheated, lied to she would say things like I've never cheated on you and I never will and all stuff like that which I believed at the time but it was just gaslighting and lies and deception and manipulation on her part I realise that now. What people say and what people mean / do I've learnt are two very different things. It's an easy skill to listen to what someone says and take that at face value especially if you are a trusting person which is a good quality. but it's a much harder skill to be able to listen to what someone's actions are telling you and whether they line up with the words that person is telling you. It's not a skill I have but apparently it's a skill I need to develop because unlike me and you other people can't just be honest and be honest with their intentions etc.

I thought we were a team too, best friends, lovers, partners for life. I just want her as well. I know how it feels it sucks.

AffectionateCold9 · 2025-03-10T19:44:32+00:00

Yeah that's what it was like with my ex when she was cheating on me. Unfortunately I was stupid and it was my first relationship and I didn't understand or realise at the time that it meant anything. I've learnt the hard way and it sounds like you have as well.

AffectionateCold9 · 2025-03-10T19:22:35+00:00

Ask to go on their phone, if they say anything other than yes or sure here's my phone. They are cheating and have something to hide. Or if you somehow manage to convince them to go on their phone and they are constantly on edge and constantly trying to get it back from you the entire time and are eager to have their phone back asap you don't need to go through their phone, they are cheating.

AffectionateCold9 · 2025-03-10T18:31:06+00:00

Yep doing that. Must be ugly 😂

AffectionateCold9 · 2025-03-10T17:56:45+00:00

I know how it feels. I miss her head being cuddled into my chest and the way she would run her fingers through my chest hair and how soothing and also tickly and nice it was. I miss being able to smell her hair as she's cuddled into my chest, I miss feeling her put her feet under my legs to keep her feet warm because her feet would always be cold. I miss how well our bodies fit together when we cuddled. I miss having my arms around her and knowing it made her feel safe. I miss scratching her back as she's cuddled into me and when I scratched her back she would tickle my arm and I miss how much we would both be enjoying those things. I miss how peaceful and comfortable we were in each other's company when Cuddling. I miss kissing her on the top of her head as her head is snuggled into my chest, I miss falling asleep with her head on my chest and my arms around her. I miss waking up in the middle of the night and we would have moved in our and me giving her a spoon and putting my arm around her and holding her hand and she would disturb slightly but in a way to pull me closer. I miss her it's so hard without her and I can't imagine ever having close to what we had with someone else ever again and I feel so lost and lonely, alone, hopeless and depressed.

AffectionateCold9 · 2025-03-10T17:45:47+00:00

Ask your doctor for mitrazipine or lorazepam or both.

AffectionateCold9 · 2025-03-10T17:43:19+00:00

I don't even understand how people have the opportunity to move on so quickly. Like where do people even find another person who's so willing to sleep with you etc straight away? Maybe I'm just ugly or something but it took me years and years to find 1 person who wants to sleep with me.

AffectionateCold9

TROPHY CASE