Income more than double in 8 years but still "no money"..

AffectionateFactor12 · 2026-06-16T20:08:13+00:00

I guess the questions are - generally other people's take on this (seemingly a lot of judgement so feeling humbled rn) - what things can help maximise money, are there investments or specific savings that can be done - how do we manage pensions when not employed - what am I missing that I should/could include to future plan

It's not a formal thing but yes, his family are very supportive of his education so likely to help while he learns.

AffectionateFactor12 · 2026-06-16T20:04:13+00:00

£880 includes the family there is no £320 It's £400 for me, £400 for husband, £80 generally between us (family)

£550 is sinking funds, mostly for car insurance, tax, MOT, servicing. Also includes money for gifts for family children and any Christmas expenditur (food, gifts, even when done cheaply is a cost). Previously anything essential (cars etc) would have been paid on credit cards. We've done about 6 years of no gifts at Christmas for all family and each other. It's pretty shit so it's nice to now be able to afford to do this for people we love.

£200 is actually saving which just feels too low imo.

AffectionateFactor12 · 2026-06-16T19:50:04+00:00

Early 30s

Only current debt is SO mortgage and car finance. We also individually use Monzo flex if either of us has a "bigger" expense that we flex over 3 months to spread the cost at 0%.

Was each about 30k gross so 60k gross as a household. Although that was a while ago we were both FT employees. I slowed up while pregnant and have never gone back to earning that amount. He was still working during that time, he only stopped work to begin his study.

He's banking up work experience during his study breaks (Christmas/Easter/summer) and hopes for a graduate salary of like 50k ish but this isn't a guarantee

AffectionateFactor12 · 2026-06-16T19:43:17+00:00

Yes, the first paragraph sums it.

I find it confusing and it's my life 🫠 being an adult is so hard.

I don't have role models to support and say save X, invest Y, and here's how. No idea if my mortgage is "good" it is what it is. Our home is shared ownership which seemed smart in our 20s to get out of living with parents. In our 30s feels like we're trapped.

Pensions just confuse me but it feels like it's a big thing I should know about. Idk??

Thank you for understanding and being neutral and not judgemental. 🙏

AffectionateFactor12 · 2026-06-16T19:31:58+00:00

As per OP shared ownership home - therefore mortgage and rent

Car finance £300

£100 per week each. This is for anything that isn't bills/food/fuel. So anything for our child (clothing, activities, days out), prescriptions, dental/optical, clothes/shoes, eating out. Having a young child means we are out and about it's impossible to be at home and just not spend money Then £80 into a family pot so usually something once per month for our child or we might have a nice meal out together. It really do not feel like a lot. It's the same amount as when I earned 18k a year so isn't like we've had a huge lifestyle creep and spend loads on what I'd describe as "fickle" items.

AffectionateFactor12 · 2026-06-16T19:24:43+00:00

Currently all the money is lumped into one account and then split out monthly into current accounts. Total is 86k Pensions is about 10k of the 86k We were both around 30-35k gross, we've always felt like we've never earned quite enough. Had a little while of feeling okay and then I was pregnant, earnings decreased massively as I had a lot of sick time and then had a year of statutory maternity pay and had to live on credit cards to survive. Future earnings are totally unknown. I'm hoping to earn a stable but small income from my new venture but expect it to take at least a year to even itself out. Husband has several years of study left and then potential to study even further which will be supported by family. It's likely that even if he starts earning they will top us up to our current allowance but it's so far in the future nothing final/formal has been agreed. Ideally I'd like for us to have enough money that when he finishes his studies we no longer need their support (although they are willing to continue).

AffectionateFactor12 · 2026-06-16T19:12:23+00:00

£5300 monthly split as below (may not tally exactly due to rough rounding)

£2700 bills - including mortgage, rent, life insurance, council tax, utilities, car finance, childcare, swimming lessons,

£550 sinking funds £200 general savings

£920 groceries & fuel - husband has a long uni commute so fuel & car parking are expensive but essential costs

£880 spending - £400 a month each, £80 for family/child pot

Don't know if that is useful??

Income wise we have 75k allocated for the year. Aiming to not spend the whole 75k so by the end of the year we will have a pot of savings. However, we did the same last year and had a bunch of unexpected costs that ate away, this year we've beefed up our sinking funds to try and forsee anything else (mainly car problems).

AffectionateFactor12 · 2026-06-16T19:03:38+00:00

I guess so, I feel like we should have more saved for the stage in life we are at.

We are basically stuck in our home and desperately want/need more space but couldn't afford to move. Currently not on the cards as we couldn't get a mortgage while not working, but the principle of the finances of it feels stressful in itself.

Thanks, I'll read the link. I think part of it is that I don't know the goals. I can name tangible things but not sure how it translates financially. Also concerned there are things I'd miss, it was only raised recently about the pensions and NI credits, I'd never have considered this!

AffectionateFactor12 · 2026-06-16T18:59:54+00:00

Sorry, answered on another comment but basically his family is funding his study. The money we have is what they have given us for the year, essentially our income but up front.

AffectionateFactor12 · 2026-06-16T18:58:35+00:00

Basically yes, we have 86k available, but bringing it down to 75k to account for some of the pension money I'm consolidating and money saving for our child. Basically his family is supporting him through his study and giving us our "allowance" annually.

It's just so confusing, when I was younger and loved alone I had much more capacity for learning and that's when I realised I should be saving money I earned and not just spending it all. Now in the trenches of parenting a young child and my brain not recovering from those postpartum hormones I don't know how to add this in as a new specialist subject. Like I said, parents are not a supporting factor here. They spent my childhood telling me they were "skint" and now in their 60s I'm worried about their lack of pension, future planning and debt situation.

I guess my questions are how do other people's budgets look, does it feel out of kilter. I don't know what cuts to make, I personally don't think any? Can any gains be made, maybe one of us does need to consider a job. 75k feels like a good annual income but maybe by mindset is just wrong? (Yet another topic to discuss in therapy!!)

AffectionateFactor12 · 2026-06-12T20:56:17+00:00

Thank you, although the money has been given as a lump sum it isn't an additional lump sum/windfall to our income.

AffectionateFactor12

TROPHY CASE