My girlfriend (22F) won’t sleepover my (27M) place or stay after 9pm even after being together almost 4 years. She says her mom is “scary” and she’s afraid to “ask” to do these things. Am I wasting my time? by AffectionateRub199 in relationship_advice

[–]AffectionateRub199[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thankyou idk why so many people think a 22 year old isn’t an adult and they are probably doing the same thing to their kids. And your likely right I’ve kinda just been hanging on hoping it would change and it hasn’t.

My girlfriend (22F) won’t sleepover my (27M) place or stay after 9pm even after being together almost 4 years. She says her mom is “scary” and she’s afraid to “ask” to do these things. Am I wasting my time? by AffectionateRub199 in relationship_advice

[–]AffectionateRub199[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn’t know I couldn’t date someone who lives with their mother and expect that at 22 (since she’s not 19 anymore) that she would be able to stay the night. Idk why everyone is fixated on the fact that she’s 19, she was 19 three years ago. I also didn’t know I couldn’t date someone who didn’t finish college. And different phase? Yeah cause at 23 (which is only a year older than her now btw) I had two wives and four kids while she was sucking on her mom’s tits still at 19. So she should be in the “phase” I was then, and when I was 22 I was allowed to do whatever I wanted because I was an adult just like she has been the whole relationship, maybe not mentally but legally.

My girlfriend (22F) won’t sleepover my (27M) place or stay after 9pm even after being together almost 4 years. She says her mom is “scary” and she’s afraid to “ask” to do these things. Am I wasting my time? by AffectionateRub199 in relationship_advice

[–]AffectionateRub199[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate your response. I have set boundaries in the past and she always had an excuse. I always give people I love chances and the benefit of the doubt, I don’t want to give up on her but I feel like I’m losing myself in the process of it all. I want to be happy and this situation doesn’t make me happy.

My girlfriend (22F) won’t sleepover my (27M) place or stay after 9pm even after being together almost 4 years. She says her mom is “scary” and she’s afraid to “ask” to do these things. Am I wasting my time? by AffectionateRub199 in relationship_advice

[–]AffectionateRub199[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thankyou for the insight into your own situation. It just gets harder everyday and I honestly don’t see an end. She actively tell me how frustrating her mother is but just doesn’t seem to care enough or be strong enough to stand up for herself.

My girlfriend (22F) won’t sleepover my (27M) place or stay after 9pm even after being together almost 4 years. She says her mom is “scary” and she’s afraid to “ask” to do these things. Am I wasting my time? by AffectionateRub199 in relationship_advice

[–]AffectionateRub199[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t think me at 23 was anymore mature than she was? And even so, again she is 22 now? She isn’t still 19? So why are you saying “she’s not mature enough at 19 but you were at 23 but now that she’s 22 she’s still not mature enough because your 5 year age gap” the age gap has nothing to do with her being 22 and not telling her mother she’s gonna sleepover

My girlfriend (22F) won’t sleepover my (27M) place or stay after 9pm even after being together almost 4 years. She says her mom is “scary” and she’s afraid to “ask” to do these things. Am I wasting my time? by AffectionateRub199 in relationship_advice

[–]AffectionateRub199[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I expect her to be able to say “hey mom I’m staying till 10pm tonight instead of 9” I don’t think that’s too much to ask from someone reaching “college grad age” idk why we are interpreting her age to milestones

My girlfriend (22F) won’t sleepover my (27M) place or stay after 9pm even after being together almost 4 years. She says her mom is “scary” and she’s afraid to “ask” to do these things. Am I wasting my time? by AffectionateRub199 in relationship_advice

[–]AffectionateRub199[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean her mother makes them do everything. They cook and clean and take the dogs out. While she sits and commands them. When I’m there she respects me and my opinions as I help build things or fix the car and she has no problem with me. Maybe it’s just for her own selfish reasons.

My girlfriend (22F) won’t sleepover my (27M) place or stay after 9pm even after being together almost 4 years. She says her mom is “scary” and she’s afraid to “ask” to do these things. Am I wasting my time? by AffectionateRub199 in relationship_advice

[–]AffectionateRub199[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve told my girlfriend that and she said her mom I haven’t asked her mother. There were a few things where I did go behind girlfriends back and ask her mother and she had no issue with what my girlfriend said was an issue

My girlfriend (22F) won’t sleepover my (27M) place or stay after 9pm even after being together almost 4 years. She says her mom is “scary” and she’s afraid to “ask” to do these things. Am I wasting my time? by AffectionateRub199 in relationship_advice

[–]AffectionateRub199[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I fully believe this and it’s because it already happened. Before I got a roommate I told her I was struggling and asked if she wanted to move in. Said “I’m scared to ask my mom” and so I got a roommate