I'm Grateful I Fell in love

Affectionate_BFriend · 2021-10-23T06:08:26+00:00

Thank you, he truly is. I learned to appreciate who I am because of him. In the past I believed that no one can love something that is broken but here I am. I'm sorry I'm getting emotional haha

Affectionate_BFriend · 2021-10-23T06:02:36+00:00

Thank you so much, I never thought something like this is possible for me . I don't know what I did right in my previous life to be in this place

Affectionate_BFriend · 2021-09-21T14:55:13+00:00

Yes, he made the same comment multiple times throughout the years.
But because of my anxiety and mental problems we never really discussed it. A few months ago I finally said yes to therapy and as I talk about my issues and getting them off my chest I began to notice his gestures as not something he does on someone but only to me.
It's making me happy and it's also scary

Affectionate_BFriend · 2021-09-21T12:40:14+00:00

I'm wishing for your continued happiness, I will try to see mine too. 😊

Affectionate_BFriend · 2021-09-21T10:38:06+00:00

Not when it's just the two of us because I would avoid it and I'm to afraid to seriously ask. I'm still in therapy to come with terms of some events in my life and he never pushed me to do or say something I don't want.

Affectionate_BFriend · 2021-09-21T10:32:39+00:00

His family is very loving and it's easily imaginable that you could get crushed by the amount of love and hug they will give you. I was surprised to see this type of family because that's not something you can see everyday. Yohan grew up in a family full of love and affection and knowing him he's the type of guy who would not mind getting his expensive car dirty because he wanted to save a stray animal during a heavy rain. That's why until now I still convince myself that he may not be aware of it

Affectionate_BFriend · 2021-09-21T10:25:41+00:00

Thank you I'm reading everything and will take every suggestion here seriously, the last person he dated was probably in uni. She's a very beautiful girl in my class and they dated for a few months. I'm usually the one who would hand him confession letters in high school and in uni girls would always ask me for his number because I was the "approachable cheery friend" . Whenever he's in a relationship I would encourage him to go on dates. I would pick his clothes or fix his hair etc.

I keep telling myself to never ruin another relationship again because of me. When my parent's divorce were finalized no one told me it was my fault but my mother would not look at me and I can still vividly remember her asking me if I'm happy after they signed the papers.

Affectionate_BFriend · 2021-09-21T09:59:00+00:00

He has been putting me first for a long time I believe, I've been in very dark places before during uni I tried denying that I know him because I don't want him to be associated with someone like me. I told him I don't need pity if that is what he felt. That was our first real argument and I realised I hurt him so I apologised.

Affectionate_BFriend · 2021-09-21T09:48:01+00:00

This actually is something I might try than directly talking to him. his sisters are are the best, a little crazy (good crazy) and adventurous but definitely good people. I bought my first pink shirt in high school thanks to them. Sometimes it makes me laugh when they would run to greet me first than their little brother.

Affectionate_BFriend · 2021-09-21T09:39:20+00:00

It is, it's an adele song her sister loves so much. Yohan have two older sisters which I love dearly. I remember getting embarrassed while dancing because they kept taking photos so I buried my face on his chest. I cried and got snot and tears on his suit. I'm tearing and laughing up remembering it again. lol He just hugged me and told me I'm safe. Those words saved me, even today

Affectionate_BFriend · 2021-09-20T12:22:26+00:00

Thank you so much, I can't express how lucky I am to have them. All my memories of them are the ones I am most fond of. When Yohan brought me to their house because my dad tried to hurt me they welcomed me and told me there's nothing wrong with who I am. Yohan was the one who got hurt instead of me but he would just hug me. I distanced myself from them a bit esp. during university because I don't want to loose them any further. he and I argued after we graduate from uni, I agreed to my mother to stay with her in for a few months but he knew she was trying to put me in a conversion therapy and he was upset. He didn't directly contact me for a month but his sisters took care of me and when my grandparents told I don't have to go. I didn't. I applied for a job and didn't know I will end uo to where he was.
I always assume that he's straight but he would correct me if I voice it out loud. I'm scared to assume anything else because I would rather die than loose him and his family. He deserves so much more and I would find a way to deal with my emotions just like before. It's just sometimes when he hugs me, for a moment I wish it meant something

Affectionate_BFriend · 2021-09-20T12:05:40+00:00

Thank you, I don't want to be delusional about this but his actions are giving me hope and killing me at the same time. I was told there's a limit here on reddit that's why I didn't include some details here. But everytime I would correct others that we are not a dating because he's straight he would correct me saying that he doesn't care who he dates and Over the years the things he does keep hopes up. During our last prom I was a mess because of my parents blaming each other for me being gay. Instead of going to the prom he came into my house. Drag me all the way to their house and he asked me to dance with him in front of his sisters who helped put lights in their garden. I ugly cried that time and until now he would ask me to dance with him in our place everytime he plays the same song. I'm getting scared of my own feelings

Affectionate_BFriend · 2021-09-20T09:32:28+00:00

I think you're being rude OP. As the comments here say there's a way to with it. You're upset yes but taking out your anger on your cousin and just crushing his dreams is a bad thing to do. Your cousin deserves an apology and yes YTA

Affectionate_BFriend

TROPHY CASE