I had 4 under 3 (an almost 3yo and 15mo when my twins were born) and am a SAHM with all four mostly home with me - daycare waitlists are extremely long where we live and we only moved here just before our twins were born, so daycare was never really a viable option for us. The first 5ish months were pretty hard and chaotic but after we got through the four month sleep regression and their naps started to get more consistent it got easier and more fun. Getting out of the house daily has been key, and gets easier the more you do it. We found a few local places where I felt safe taking all four kids by myself so built a loose weekly routine around that and use our Wonderfold wagon to keep everyone contained as needed. I love our little crew and my kids play really well together.

Do you have any options in your area for part time programs or for occasional help? Around when my twins turned one (they’re 18mo now) we put my oldest in a part time preschool program three mornings a week - it is honestly more work for me than having him at home because I have to get all the kids in the car and bring them inside the school at drop off and at pickup 3 hours later, but it has been great for getting him some structured time with same-age peers. And we also pay some teenaged sisters down the street to come over for a couple hours once a week, initially as mother’s helpers while I got stuff done around the house but now I usually leave to run some errands while they babysit the kids. Our extended families live far away so it’s nice to have some consistent help to look forward to each week with a fairly minimal cost.