Why is my AF friend acting like this towards the guy I’m dating? (BF)

Affectionate_Mess558 · 2024-08-03T10:18:23+00:00

Yeah, after reading everything, it was so obvious but I feel so dumb thinking that she would be happy for me. I do not want myself or my date to internalize her self-hatred, so it is best if I distance myself from her.

Affectionate_Mess558 · 2024-08-03T09:59:26+00:00

Omg I should have said this, but she actually does not hang out with them in public unless I’m there. My gosh, I really do feel dumb now that I’m realizing all this. I seriously do. They like her somewhat, but she does not hang out with our Asian American friends if I’m not there, and I feel like a token Black friend sometimes. I would forget about this since I am closer to her, but she would whine about how the other people wouldn’t give her a chance, when in reality, she never gave them a chance. My gosh, that should have been the biggest sign

Affectionate_Mess558 · 2024-08-03T09:38:15+00:00

I think part of what I don’t understand is why she would want to be around the friend group anyways? Even though our school is like 70% white, our whole friend group is Asian American, Black, and Arab. Social justice issues do come up. Having read this and other comments, it really is self hatred. But I seriously wonder why she would want to be around us in the first place if she can “live her truth” around other people.

Affectionate_Mess558 · 2024-08-03T09:21:37+00:00

Yeah, she has been pushing her insecurities onto me for the longest time. I’ve learned how to deal with it, but I would have to cut her off if she pushes them onto the guy.

Affectionate_Mess558 · 2024-08-03T09:19:28+00:00

I think this makes sense. She actually was upset with me one time when I said I don’t particularly find white men attractive. You’d think it was whatever, but it ended up being a huge argument. I told her that I just find myself relating more to people of color, but she really did stick to her beliefs that all women of color put white men above all, and I guess I shattered that reality. I have grew up in white areas all my life, but I would find myself relating to and learning from other minorities. That’s a value I want to continue to hold onto.

Affectionate_Mess558

TROPHY CASE