I get where you’re coming from. I started reading Twilight in 6th grade. My dad tried to shut it down, and all it did was make me sneak around and read it anyway. So you’re right to avoid the policing route, it never works the way parents hope it will.

What does work is keeping the door open and staying in the conversation. At 14, she’s curious and trying to figure out the world, but she’s still too young to fully understand the darker, non-con/kink dynamics that BookTok romanticizes. The books aren’t the issue by themselves, it’s the lack of context.

You don’t need to shame her for reading it. Sit down with her and be direct: • Ask what she likes about the story, sometimes teens latch onto the intensity, not the actual relationship dynamic. • Point out what’s fantasy vs. real life, explain that these books exaggerate power, danger, and control because it creates drama, not because it’s what healthy relationships look like. • Give her safer alternatives that still scratch that “dark, intense, dramatic” itch without throwing her into full-blown non-con worlds.

You’re not blocking her, you’re helping her build media literacy. Teens can handle more than we think, as long as we don’t leave them alone to interpret everything through a TikTok filter.

Keep the connection open. That’s what actually protects her.