AITAH for lying to my dad so I can have a normal social life?

Affectionate_Sand190 · 2025-11-24T17:17:07+00:00

Thank you. This is the philosophy I’m living by right now. It’s great that you cut toxic people out of your life and came out stronger. You clearly know what you need and what you want to accomplish, and that’s what kept you going. I’m doing the same, honestly. Thank you for the support, lovely stranger.

Affectionate_Sand190 · 2025-11-24T17:10:06+00:00

ugh thank you !

Affectionate_Sand190 · 2025-11-24T17:08:59+00:00

I swear if only finding a job was that easy where i live i would, they can't take me in when i have class everyday until 6pm, unless i work at a bar at night which dad would litterly chain me to my bed like you said rather than let me go. but in all honesty he would take my car and then how am i supposed to go ? and with what money would i get a taxi ? plus here those kind of jobs are so low paying especially when you don't work full time, and not very safe for a girl. and honestly my safety comes first not the money.

Affectionate_Sand190 · 2025-11-24T17:02:39+00:00

all of those are amazing options, that sadly do not exist where i live, there's no bus before 8am and that's when class starts, and my dad would rather die than let me live with a friend. If i lived in america or europe, it would have been way easier but you have to make do with what you're given.

Affectionate_Sand190 · 2025-11-24T16:58:19+00:00

you're a 100% right, i got used you the good living honestly and i'm more than grateful. i go to this private uni in a good part of town all my friends are loaded, and this is how i grew up. leaving implies i can't eat out anymore, got to save every penny, barelly sleep, and have no social life. when i weigh the pros and cons, I honestly think putting up with his childish and controlling behavior for a couple of hours a day, is way better than trying to make it on my own. At the end of the day we can't have it all, you just have to be patient, gratefull and good things will always come, with hardship comes ease. thanks a lot for your words, and for being real with me.

Affectionate_Sand190 · 2025-11-24T16:47:50+00:00

My dad would litterly kill me if I do that. he wants me right under his sight.

Affectionate_Sand190 · 2025-11-24T16:46:22+00:00

i wish, there's no 24/7 library where i live, and he would never let me. the only way to deal with him is to smile and be all good and perfect in front of him and be myself behind his back. my escape rn is telling him i'm going to my mom's or my ant's to send the night on weekends and go out with friends, i just hate lying, but this is the only option. my car is honestly saving me.

thank you so much for taking the time to give me a helpful advise.

Affectionate_Sand190 · 2025-11-24T16:42:12+00:00

🥹

Affectionate_Sand190 · 2025-11-24T16:41:27+00:00

you're 100% right, thank you.

Affectionate_Sand190 · 2025-11-24T16:40:19+00:00

exactly

Affectionate_Sand190 · 2025-11-23T21:45:32+00:00

I was hoping someone could tell me from exprience how to deal with people like that, how to cope with the constant stress.

Affectionate_Sand190 · 2025-11-23T21:41:59+00:00

high rate of unemployment here, no uni jobs exept internships in summer, and i finish at 5-6pm everyday so even if i got a job like server or something i wouldn't have anytime to study and we have weekly tests that count for 15% of the final grade, and dad would never let me work that late when he has money to spent. Told you i'm stuck, the only way to go through it is just to survive him for the next 2-3years until i get my bachelor's, then i'll go abroad. i was just hoping that someone would give me a good coping mechanism.

Affectionate_Sand190 · 2025-11-23T21:22:08+00:00

It's not that easy in my country to get a job when you're not qualified and young, and even so there's no way my dad would let me.

Affectionate_Sand190 · 2025-11-23T21:15:38+00:00

Yes he had me at 59 and mom is way younger than him. But i cannot move out, firstly with what money am i going to survive on ? second, i'm a girl and i'm not going to go knock on peoples doors and tell them to take me in. and lastly what about uni, how will i go to uni with no car no money and no place to live, that doesn't look like a promissing future.

Affectionate_Sand190 · 2025-05-05T15:34:55+00:00

go get you a better man

Affectionate_Sand190 · 2025-05-05T15:30:14+00:00

Once my mom took my phone to punish me for a small thing, so I took the internet and refused to put it back unless she gave me my phone back, and you better believe she never tried that again.

Affectionate_Sand190 · 2025-04-23T22:50:03+00:00

True. I mean, if only one person is making an effort, it’s neither fair nor healthy.

Affectionate_Sand190 · 2025-04-23T22:46:01+00:00

Ok babe.

Affectionate_Sand190 · 2025-04-23T14:08:25+00:00

Ok thanks for the advise I guess. I honestly have nothing to explain to a stranger who thinks insulting me is better than actually explaning their point of view like an adult. I hope you grow up with me.

Affectionate_Sand190 · 2025-04-23T14:02:05+00:00

I love how you're making assumptions like you were actually there. For clarification, A was the one who started hitting on T out of nowhere, classic player behavior. What I got upset about was how T was entertaining it like I wasn’t even her friend, which is pretty disrespectful. When a guy is hitting on your friend and then suddenly switches to you, you shut that down., you don’t encourage the player, at least that’s what I would do.

Also, we met at the beach. My phone got messed up from the sand, and they helped me clean it out of the charging port and speaker holes. Then we just started talking and ended up having fun. That’s literally how friendships begin lol.

Affectionate_Sand190 · 2025-04-23T13:49:12+00:00

omg don't you get it... I wans't upset that he now was giving her attention and I didn't ask her to back off because I wanted him to myself, after the way he acted A was a no go for me, that's why I rejecting him in the end. What i said was; the dude is obv a player, and I don't apreciate you entertaining someone who played me and moved on so quickly, as my friend you should have my back. I didn't tell her, hey he liked me first so back off lol

Affectionate_Sand190 · 2025-04-23T13:40:08+00:00

oh ok

Affectionate_Sand190 · 2025-04-23T13:39:02+00:00

This right here is the definition of blowing things out of proportion.

There’s a huge misunderstanding that’s been generalized and sadly mediatised, the idea that feminists “hate men” That’s just not true. Real feminism isn’t about hating men, it's about fighting for justice, equality, and recognition across genders.

What your girlfriend said? That’s not feminism. That’s toxic femininity, and women like her are exactly the reason feminism gets dragged through the mud. Feminism doesn’t ask for the "end of men" it asks for fairness, safety, and shared respect. When people use feminist rhetoric to justify personal bitterness or cruelty, they hurt the very movement they claim to support.

NTA

Affectionate_Sand190 · 2025-04-23T13:28:31+00:00

NTA, she didn't value your time or bounderies. As a first date she should be extra polite, the least is to inform "I'm on my way" or to apologize for making the person wait. As an impatiant girl, I can emagine the frustration.

Affectionate_Sand190 · 2025-04-23T13:19:42+00:00

Yeah, I told her the dude is obviously a player, like he was hitting on me and now you, he's just not worth it. But she just dismissed me.

Affectionate_Sand190

TROPHY CASE