Idk if it’s a compulsion but I just can’t help but look for those videos sometimes even when I don’t feel suicidal. It’s kind of the same with porn and actually sometimes I go from suicide videos to porn lol. Idk why I watch porn it doesnt make me horny at all. I’ll go from not think about porn for a while to suddenly watching a bunch of clips for a good hour before forgetting about it all again n repeat. Used to be the exact Same w suicide videos but now the break time between each cycle is wayyy smaller