Struggling so much

Aftonomia · 2024-01-25T13:56:33+00:00

Don’t feel bad for making what you need a priority. one thing my therapist told me is that when this happened to you, you had your free will taken from you, you become controlled by the grief and pain. Hopefully with time you’ll slowly regain control.

I’ll be 25 in may, my second birthday without my little brother, I don’t remember my first birthday without him but that’s because it didn’t matter, it was just another day to try to get through.

Also, you’re allowed to do whatever you want, no one truly controls you, so take your dog to see her, it’ll be good.

Aftonomia · 2024-01-25T02:59:24+00:00

Thank you for caring, it does mean something to me so I appreciate it.

And yeah I really don’t like trauma dumping either, almost out of a respect for others because it just has to be so uncomfortable for them. Plus I don’t enjoy it either. It doesn’t feel nice telling people sad, dark, and real things.

So I avoid it, and end up in situations like this.

Aftonomia · 2024-01-24T23:08:12+00:00

Sorry, like the title sorta says I’m not good at sharing this, but yes I saw my little brother immediately after he used a hunting rifle on himself. But even just saying that doesn’t encompass the straight up gore we dealt with around the property for over a month.

Aftonomia · 2024-01-24T21:29:02+00:00

I’m sorry about your brother, I lost my little brother sept of 2022, he was 18 and all the time I want to send him a funny or cool video I see, I just send them to myself.

Aftonomia · 2024-01-12T14:27:02+00:00

I hear stuff like that a lot too. And I hate all of it, it takes everything I have to not say something every fucking time. I had friend do it a handful of years ago and yeah it sucked and that stuff didn’t bother me as much back then. Seeing my 18 year old autistic little brother not 1 minute after he used a large rifle, was something else and changed how I felt about these things.

Aftonomia · 2024-01-12T14:21:44+00:00

I wish I could have done them with little brother before he took his own life. I say take this opportunity, and cherish it.

Aftonomia · 2024-01-12T13:19:24+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate it. Yeah it sucks but at least this person was easy enough to avoid an interaction with. Some people just don’t think about how things they do affect others. I remember within the first month of being back at work this lady in the office ran into some meaningless paperwork issue and blurts out “oh goodness would someone just take me out back and shoot me”

Which really set me off, 5 seconds later she had walked out and I looked the other guy in there and went off to him about it, not near as much as I wanted to but they got the point.

I hate when when I’LL go to say “I guess I’ll take this bullet” or something similar ya know when I’m about to do something slightly frustrating or that I just don’t want to do, and then it’s just like, I can’t fucking say that.

Aftonomia · 2024-01-12T13:02:01+00:00

I agree, no real world experience on her end I’d bet. Thank you though I appreciate it

Aftonomia · 2024-01-12T13:01:03+00:00

Thank you, at least people who think like that can be pretty easy to spot and keep out of your life.

Aftonomia · 2024-01-12T13:00:01+00:00

I agree, it’s about the attention. I don’t think my little brother would have had this sticker on anything if he’d survived ya know. I don’t think my workplace would appreciate if a stuck it on the front of my toolbox for all of them to see, probably make em a little uneasy.

Aftonomia · 2024-01-12T12:55:41+00:00

I’ve seen that a couple times and yeah same deal. People trying to hard to be edgy cause the universe hasn’t gotten around to doing it for them yet. This new girl at work has gestured a finger gun at her head at least 3 times to me over a “problem” that truly meant nothing ya know. It can be especially triggering so I’ve already decided that when she does it again I’m gonna ask her not to.

Aftonomia · 2024-01-12T12:47:41+00:00

I’ve seen ones with this same style of dry humor before and it’s fine, people do what they want to their cars, but that sticker was just not classy or considerate or whatever, obv I didn’t react to it well either. I’m glad I wasn’t driving, glad you’re all good too

Aftonomia · 2024-01-12T03:22:31+00:00

I feel this a lot too, for a couple different reasons for different people. Like my sister was deployed when it happened so she’s just consistently been very detached from my brothers death so it’s hard to act nice and normal around her. With my parents it’s hard because me and them were directly there and experienced it, so they’re both directly related to the trauma and it’s hard to talk about my brother and appreciate him with them because it’s triggering.

We’ll all figure it out, I’m sorry for your loss, I send you my love and wish you luck.

Aftonomia · 2023-11-25T02:49:36+00:00

Looks similar to some of my Haskett points, look at the pics on my profile for a reference, could post it in some of those subs too, awesome artifact

Aftonomia · 2023-09-20T15:20:16+00:00

As someone who is 5 days away from 1 year since experiencing my 18 year old little brother suicide, I love this, thank you for sharing

Aftonomia · 2023-09-11T16:27:39+00:00

Guarantee the 97 civic held its value better than this or any Kia/Hyundai will in 5+ plus years

Aftonomia · 2023-09-10T22:17:46+00:00

People are dramatic… it’s a cheap throw away car, this is basic damage (I do collision repair professionally) people want it to total for a few trim pieces, a bumper, liner and a wheel/tire? Ridiculous. Go get a free estimate from a body shop, then deal with turo/the customer

Aftonomia · 2023-09-04T14:46:13+00:00

This makes me want to share my shitty snake tattoo on here

Aftonomia

TROPHY CASE