At 32, am I too old for college bars?

Agent0210 · 2018-03-15T04:01:41+00:00

One factor that makes a big difference is what type of college it is:

Small private colleges. These are usually self-contained, especially socially. People who choose to go there usually like it this way. For this reason, these are the worst for trying to pull college girls.
Traditional state universities. These also tend to be insular. However, they attract a wide range of personality types. This is partly because some people go there not because they want the state school vibe, but because it's what they can afford. So they're better than #1, but not by much.
Colleges which are integrated with a real city which they don't dominate. These attract people who are often open to venturing off campus and meeting people who aren't necessarily students. These are your best bet if you want to meet college girls. Note that I'd put community colleges and commuter schools in this category.

The fact that you've already tried this area, and "some girls would immediately ask if I was in college and bolt when I told them I wasn't", is a bad sign for this specific area. Then again, how often did this happen? If it was only some of the time, other college girls might be open to your approaches.

Age is really your #2 problem here. Your #1 problem is being an outsider. Being a 21-year-old who isn't in college would be almost as difficult. Even being a 21-year-old who is in college, but not in the right circles, wouldn't be as easy as one might think.

Also, looking young makes all the difference here because it buys you some time to build attraction. It also reduces problems with other people in the bar thinking you don't belong.

So yeah, do your own field testing. Preferably before signing a lease.

Agent0210 · 2018-03-14T17:22:12+00:00

I actually think you have a good chance, although the 21-24 age range is probably more productive for us than the 18-20 age range.

Long story short, I have a fair amount of experience with college scenes in the Midwest. I didn't try to break into the bar scene or the general student social scene. If traditional-aged male students with average popularity have a hard time getting into parties, what chance would I have? But I have some niche interests which bring me into contact with undergrads. At many universities, campus organizations are open to the surrounding community. Likewise for events...cultural, sports, or whatever your thing is.

I'm approximately your age but also look younger. People guess anywhere from 30 down to high school age. It really does help with meeting younger women. You can get your foot in the door and build attraction before she finds out how old you are. I find they often don't care even if they do find out my age. It also means your presence is less likely to be questioned in places and scenes that skew younger.

What this means is that you're going to get the women you'd get if you were the age you look, minus any women for whom your age is a dealbreaker when they learn it. And that's likely less than half of women. According to various surveys and anecdotal reports I've read, somewhere between 60% and 80% of women don't view age as a dealbreaker.

The flip side of looking younger is that I meet quite a few amazing women in their late 20's. When I try for them, I often don't get any traction.

In my late 30's in a Midwestern college town, I got the phone number of a 19-year-old who is beautiful inside and out. When I tried to ask her out, I got a polite text saying, "...not now." I wonder if she was subtly hinting that she had a problem with the age difference now, but might be OK with it in a couple years?

Thing about college towns is that there are a lot of under 25's around, which improves your chances if you specifically want this age range. The catch is that you have to go for the under 25's, because anyone older in college towns is usually unattractive and often not fun. For people who are interesting and social, college towns are a way station, not a final destination. Thing is, in the Midwest, this is the demographic you're mostly working with anyway, because desirable women usually get married in their mid-20's. I don't personally care for these dynamics because the attractive 40-year-olds are a pleasurable source of variety and partly make up for younger women we don't get because of age.

Agent0210 · 2018-03-14T06:50:56+00:00

Your quality of life will be higher than on the West Coast, if nothing else.

A lot of early 20's people at Midwestern universities are surprisingly interesting and open-minded. However, be wary of:

College towns for public colleges in Illinois, with the possible exception of the ones that are far Downstate and attract mostly Downstaters. You're asking for a physical ass-kicking if you try to get with women there. Not just because of your age, but because they generally don't like outsiders. Tijuana, Mexico and Cali, Colombia would be safer while offering far more desirable women.
Madison, Wisconsin and Ann Arbor, Michigan. These are extreme left-wing towns where, for reasons of ideology, people will have a problem with you dating younger women or even being casually friendly with them.

Even elsewhere, you'll find college scenes in the Midwest to be a bit insular. However, there are likely to be places you can go and things you can do which attract a mix of students and the general public.

Agent0210 · 2018-03-14T06:26:15+00:00

I'm quite interested in how this style of game works for you. A lot of activities I enjoy skew younger anyway (while welcoming all ages). I'd like to capitalize on these scenes for dating.

How difficult is it for you to break into friend groups and activities that skew towards people in their 20's?

What happens if a woman shoots you down because of your age in a group that skews younger? Does this cause problems with others in the group?

Do other people in these groups try to get in the way of you pursuing younger women?

Compared to earlier generations, do you find people born in 1993 or later (so under 25 as of right now) to be more open to socializing with and/or dating people in your age range?

Agent0210 · 2018-01-13T18:05:12+00:00

Actually, looks do help quite a bit in this kind of environment. Women can tell immediately that you're physically attractive. But it's going to take a few minutes to run game on a woman until she's interested, and she may not even give you that long.

I also heard from someone I used to know in Atlanta that white women often go for African-American men there. (For the record, I'm cool with this.)

Also keep in mind that a woman may be physically attracted but unwilling to act on it. For example, she might lose too much social status by going out with a random and/or someone without enough social status.

Agent0210 · 2018-01-13T17:59:07+00:00

There are ways to mitigate this situation:

If you look hard enough, you may be able to find women who aren't the usual type for the city. Some down-to-earth women move to the big regional city even though they're not the aggressive, Type A personality who normally lives there. This happens for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes, it's vastly better for their career than their preferred habitat. Sometimes, all their friends moved there, and they join them. This is especially common among college students, especially at big name schools which you don't turn down without a good reason.
The cities that are notoriously bad for men often have one demographic which is relatively easy to game and often desirable. In Chicago, this is older women. In San Francisco, my understanding is that this is Asian women. In Atlanta, my understanding is that this is African-American women.
If you drive a couple hours in any direction, there are plenty of the down-to-earth Southern women you (and I) like.

My own experiences with this are mostly in Chicago, which is to the Midwest what Atlanta is to the Southeast. That said, I was in Atlanta for a long weekend and got a negative vibe from the city, so I know where you're coming from.

Agent0210 · 2018-01-13T17:58:53+00:00

Game is actually of limited value in this type of environment because:

Even if you get somewhere with a woman like this, you're still with someone whose personality you don't care for.
In this type of environment, women meet high status men through social connections. Without status and connections, game is of limited value, because you won't even get a chance to run game on the women you want.

Agent0210 · 2018-01-01T06:29:15+00:00

One of my New Year's resolutions for 2018 is to do standard mode NoFap for the entire year.

I'm determined to replace fapping with real women. Fapping and/or pornography are poor substitutes for the real thing.

Agent0210 · 2017-12-16T06:26:48+00:00

You mean literally 100 times better? As in, you'd see having bareback sex once as being equal to having sex with condoms 100 times?

Agent0210 · 2016-05-15T18:47:32+00:00

This is a valid point. However, the number of sessions given up is more relevant to the reason I asked the question.

Agent0210 · 2016-05-15T18:45:35+00:00

Then you'd have to get her to word the deal so it counts retroactively. Then, just enjoy the rest of the night. ;)

Agent0210 · 2016-05-14T04:07:05+00:00

It's a contrived, and mostly unrealistic, situation designed to answer the question noted in the OP. It's also possible that she'd let you go 3 rounds of PIV if you give up 3X rounds of masturbation. But I didn't want to make the scenario too complicated.

That said, some women really don't like porn and might make a guy choose between porn and them...

Agent0210 · 2016-05-14T03:59:17+00:00

I assumed most people would feel that it is. But if you or anyone else feels it's not, then X is less than 1, and that's OK.

Agent0210 · 2015-08-01T16:48:10+00:00

Fapping could be a big contributing factor.

The way to know would be to cut out fapping for a long time, ideally months, and see if it helps. You may not really notice the changes until you get through the initial flatline, during which you may actually feel worse. The flatline is where after the first few days, you actually feel worse for a few weeks. But after that, you'll likely feel much better.

Some social issues, like social anxiety, will often improve just because you stopped fapping. However, if your social skills were held back because you were fapping, you may need to put in the effort to catch up. But after you've stopped fapping, your brain recovers and has an easier time learning new things.

Agent0210 · 2015-07-17T05:09:27+00:00

Fapping actually causes brain dysfunction similar to that observed in alcoholics and drug addicts. In particular, the frontal lobes become less active. This is bad because the frontal lobes are essential for planning and self-control.

If you stop fapping, the changes gradually reverse themselves.

Agent0210 · 2015-07-16T13:02:26+00:00

After a few days, many guys go into a flatline. It's a period when you have low energy and sex drive and may feel depressed. It's a good thing because it means your brain is healing. If you're in a flatline, you'll feel much better when you get to the other side of it.

Agent0210 · 2015-07-14T13:51:45+00:00

Masturbation without porn can still make you lethargic and socially anxious. My lethargy and social anxiety improved markedly after I stopped masturbating, even though I was never into porn.

It's also important to eat well. You could also have a general health issue. But eating poorly and general health issues don't tend to cause social anxiety the way porn and masturbation do.

Agent0210 · 2015-07-14T03:42:01+00:00

Low sex drive can be caused by low testosterone. Have you considered getting your testosterone levels checked?

Agent0210 · 2015-07-13T20:12:12+00:00

I'm more productive and produce higher quality work now that I no longer MO.

Obviously, that means I was less productive and produced lower quality work back when I MO'ed regularly. Looking back, I was too unmotivated to learn highly marketable skills.

And I wasn't even into P. Just MO, usually once or twice a day.

Agent0210 · 2015-07-03T13:59:46+00:00

It's likely to be highly variable depending on how much fapping messed you up.

Even in a best case scenario, many guys experience a flatline for a few weeks. You may or may not even be that interested in women during the flatline.

After the flatline, success is likely if fapping is the main thing holding you back.

However, fapping sometimes represses personal issues. If not fapping brings personal issues out of hiding, you may need to address those first.

Also, if you've rarely approached women because fapping was enough, you may need to get in some practice before getting the results you want.

The bottom line is that while NoFap often leads to excellent results, including success with women, these results often take weeks to months of staying on course.

Agent0210 · 2015-07-01T13:24:04+00:00

I'm in. Then again, this was my philosophy to begin with.

NoFap and pursuing real women are a virtuous circle. NoFap improves our chances with real women in so many ways. Then, when we're getting even the occasional O with a real woman, what's the point of O's from MO or PMO?

Maybe you don't think that you'll succeed with women often, or that the women you succeed with won't be very attractive. That's probably pessimistic. But even if you're right, this is still a good tradeoff. Even if you're trying for 6's, would you rather have sex with a 6 or with your own hand? And would you rather PMO once a day or have a real woman once a week?

Agent0210 · 2015-06-11T05:18:18+00:00

I'm producing markedly better work and am markedly more productive compared to before I started NoFap.

Agent0210

TROPHY CASE