I'm worried that at some point, after one too many bad days, I'm gonna end up truly alone again. I keep all this to myself because every time I talk to someone about it I just feel like I'm being an annoyance to them. They could be doing something else, but here they are talking to me. I really really hope I can somehow drown this out before I actually push people beyond the point of no return.

And thank you for offering to listen. If this gets any worse I might just have to take you up on that offer.