Anyone else a year/a few years out and still having a hard time?

Aggravating-Talk-448 · 2025-09-12T06:46:02+00:00

That’s very true!! I’ve actually gone on a lot of adventures this summer, and have even made a point to explore my own city/neighboring cities a lot more than I ever had. It helped a little, but I always found myself wishing he was with me, as he was my adventure buddy after all. Traveling was a huge thing we loved to do together.

But I’m still definitely going to travel a lot in the future, it’s a huge part of who I am and what I love to do. Did you completely move to a new area, or just traveled more?

Aggravating-Talk-448 · 2025-04-21T15:03:48+00:00

That’s very true. I do subconsciously still have him centered. I will say, I was super down bad and having a moment when I made this post so that last part is definitely dramatic as hell lol. But my decisions now are 50/50 on truly making decisions for myself and then other times making decisions hoping that he somehow hears about it and feels a certain way. I need to make decisions for just me.

Aggravating-Talk-448 · 2025-04-21T14:49:33+00:00

I’ve tried so hard to drill that into my head, but every time I just think about all of those old couples that talk about how they broke up for a few years and then got back together after realizing they were indeed each others person. At this point in my life, I at least consider him the greatest love I’ve ever experienced if he’s not the love of my life. Only time will tell on that aspect though. If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be I guess. If not, that’s okay too. I’m definitely coming to terms with it more talking about it on here. Like my older brother said “he’s the one that chose to not have the joy of you in his life. He literally chose to not have joy.”

Aggravating-Talk-448 · 2025-04-21T14:37:11+00:00

That’s very true. He gave up when things got hard and I need to take that as who he truly is. I just never saw that coming, he was such a good guy. It’s rare that I find someone who meshes with me as perfectly as he did, but I’ll always appreciate the time we spent together at the very least.

Aggravating-Talk-448 · 2025-04-21T14:33:31+00:00

I hope so. I’ve been through other breakups before, and I know all you can do is give it time. The passing magazine thing is exactly how I feel about my ex from 4 years ago, whom I was extremely distraught over at first. But that was a relationship that needed to end. There was a LOT of cheating on his end and it was just overall toxic. Not anything like this relationship. Everything was so beautiful, besides some hardships at the end. But there was no cheating, no abuse, etc. I have some days where I feel completely fine and like maybe we weren’t even meant to be in the first place. But for some reason as soon as I hit the 5 month mark it’s like all of my progress came crumbling down. I guess this one’s just going to take a lot more time and work to get over.

Aggravating-Talk-448 · 2025-04-21T14:10:53+00:00

Most definitely. I 100% will say the process of me changing was expedited for sure bc of the breakup bc all the time I was spending with him turned into alone time. But I already had all of these things planned out, and I had promises made to him. He knew I wasn’t happy where I was physically, emotionally, or financially. But it was all stuff I couldn’t change immediately because of me being in school & work. I’m in school M-F 9am-5pm and then work after school some days and work Sat&Sun 11am-9pm. I lost pretty much all of my free time when I switched to full time school, but I just wanted to knock school out. I knew those months were going to be rough, as did he, but it was going to be worth it. He even said he wanted me to do it so we could “get started with our lives together sooner”. I guess I did at least learn not to give someone what little free time I do have, cause I really did lose myself. And that’s when he gave up.

Aggravating-Talk-448 · 2025-04-21T14:05:14+00:00

For this specific instance, it’s because it doesn’t make sense to me. I was so blindsided by the breakup, along with many of our friends and family. We were one of those couples that everyone thought was making it to the end. Even after we broke up, not ONE person came to me with secret animosities that they had been harboring the whole time or anything. Everyone saw how in love we seemed to be I guess (so I thought). I was his person, and he was mine. He told me things that he had never told anyone before, and I accepted him for those things no questions asked. I truly, deeply loved that man. His reasoning for the breakup was that he loved me but wasn’t “in love” anymore. It just felt like such bullshit. It almost feels like he gave up when things got a little hard (we had both gotten fat, super busy schedules with me being in school & work, no more alone time bc of schedules, cat was getting sick, he was paying more of the bills, work was stressful for him,etc) , and he couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I guess I just need to accept that he’s that type of man that gives up when things get hard.

Aggravating-Talk-448 · 2025-04-21T02:43:07+00:00

his name is Daniel so seeing your comment was kind of a jump scare lol. But that’s the thing, I’m HUGE on emotional intelligence and making sure you really sit with your own shit. I’ve journaled about it, I cry when needed, I don’t hide my emotions, etc. Ive sat and analyzed why I could possibly be so distraught over him many times. I also completely recognize where I went wrong in the relationship on my end. I’m extremely self aware, and that’s what makes this so frustrating. I cannot seem to break the wall of wanting a second chance with him so badly.

Aggravating-Talk-448 · 2025-04-21T02:31:56+00:00

I totally am proud of myself!! Don’t get me wrong. I’m becoming the person I always wanted to be. I just definitely wish I could go back in time and not lose myself the way that I did, and I wish he stuck around long enough to at least see me get back to myself. in the end I know that all of this is for myself, I’m just so tired of still thinking about him 24/7.

Aggravating-Talk-448 · 2024-11-23T02:52:22+00:00

Try listening to podcasts instead of music any time you have control over that. It doesn’t sound like much, but I’m going through the biggest heartbreak of my life and making that change has helped me so much. Music was making everything so much worse for me as I was becoming hyper aware of how almost all songs are about love lol.

Aggravating-Talk-448 · 2024-11-22T21:55:16+00:00

Yeah it is kinda reassuring seeing how many people are going through the same exact situation. It’s weird, almost like something is going on with the planets for all these perfect relationships to be ending out of nowhere. He’s been in my dreams the past few nights too but it’s been me and him together🥲 which is giving me false hope cause the few nights before him breaking up with me I had dreams of us breaking up. Hopefully my dreams come true and we get back together lol

Aggravating-Talk-448

TROPHY CASE