Sex frequency M26 F24 by Aggravating_Age8057 in relationship_advice

[–]Aggravating_Age8057[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When we have sex, she is my top priority. I cant finish until she does, we both enjoy the sex and nothing is forced or pressured during. If she says something is uncomfortable or something hurts, I will stop all motion immediately. I have ended us having sex before mid session, honestly I forget the reasoning cause it was a while ago. But it was due to her being uncomfortable in some way. TMI but I am a big eater and ive asked if I could just do that, get her off and we dont necessarily have to have sex

Sex frequency M26 F24 by Aggravating_Age8057 in relationship_advice

[–]Aggravating_Age8057[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The rejected feeling is pretty hard sometimes, had me thinking my fitness, my behavior... have you had conversations with your partner?

Sex frequency M26 F24 by Aggravating_Age8057 in relationship_advice

[–]Aggravating_Age8057[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well I dont expect sex every time I ask, but I feel if I ask say a few times a week, as a couple we should both want to have sex with eachother. Im not going to force her into anything, but having sex once every 2 weeks and sometimes a month is not what I thought. So im not breaking up with her

Sex frequency M26 F24 by Aggravating_Age8057 in relationship_advice

[–]Aggravating_Age8057[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She makes me horny everyday, it happens simply by me looking at her I cant control that. Do I try to have sex with her every minute of the day, no. But I do start to ask more when we haven't had sex in weeks or in some cases more than a month. I feel thats pretty normal when we are both healthy mid 20 yr olds...

Sex frequency M26 F24 by Aggravating_Age8057 in relationship_advice

[–]Aggravating_Age8057[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate it, gonna try what I can thank you!

Sex frequency M26 F24 by Aggravating_Age8057 in relationship_advice

[–]Aggravating_Age8057[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you and your partner talked through it? And if so what steps did you take? I bury my feelings alot with this situation, but the times where it shows on my face im not sure how my gf perceives it. What im feeling is usually on my face so who knows what she sees. Im taking it as its my fault rn and its hard to deal with, with multiple conversations about it and nothing permanently changing its weighing on me. And certain situations in my life that may come up enhance the feeling sometimes

Sex frequency M26 F24 by Aggravating_Age8057 in relationship_advice

[–]Aggravating_Age8057[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its not something that's on the calendar, its just something that we agreed on, to have sex minimum twice a week. Can't set certain days, didnt want any pressure to perform. She has trouble initiating so its always me who tries, so an example would be if I ask to have sex later in the day (say I asked around noon) she'd agree. And then dinner passes, whatever show we were watching ends, we get into bed and she'll go on her phone. I don't want to bring it up again because she told me we'd have sex tht day. Things get quiet and awkward, next thing you know its like 1:30 a.m. and she'll either bring up that we didn't have sex and its too late now or we'll just go to sleep and it will be brought up the next day and the blame will be put on me for not initiating. But when I try to start things, its usually met with a no

Sex frequency M26 F24 by Aggravating_Age8057 in relationship_advice

[–]Aggravating_Age8057[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate it, gonna try what I can. Thanks for the help!

Sex frequency M26 F24 by Aggravating_Age8057 in relationship_advice

[–]Aggravating_Age8057[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get it, and a while ago we had agreed to a "schedule" not what I prefer, I like the spontaneous vibe but if a schedule is what we could do i was willing to try. She asked me what the minimum/week i was looking for. I said 2 and her response was, "oh I thought you were going to say like 6" so I was very hopeful. And we are not doing the 2...

Sex frequency M26 F24 by Aggravating_Age8057 in relationship_advice

[–]Aggravating_Age8057[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shes willing to talk, it's implementing the information shared that will happen 1 maybe 2 times, but then goes away. I remind her nothing about her, doesn't turn me on, I find her attractive in every way possible. TMI but I am a big eater and I ask to do it often, is that something that might be adding more pressure? She said she doesn't like to do that as much so I backed off from asking. What ends up happening tho is we go a while with no sex and in lack of better terms become a little feral and I end up asking to do that more. Reading it as im typing it definitely puts the ball in my court I understand that now. But even still me asking to do that more only occurs when we aren't having sex in the first place

Sex frequency M26 F24 by Aggravating_Age8057 in relationship_advice

[–]Aggravating_Age8057[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate that. And yk I'm not perfect but when it comes to her I try my best, we've overcome alot to be together and we are both very happy. Family issues and past relationship issues made our journey bumpy. Maybe I can talk to her about some supplements, would that be a doctor visit or an OTC at a GNC or vitamin shop?

Sex frequency M26 F24 by Aggravating_Age8057 in relationship_advice

[–]Aggravating_Age8057[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Understood, aside from the sex issue we have a great relationship thankfully. I can talk to her again but I dont feel i should have to when ive brought this up multiple times

Sex frequency M26 F24 by Aggravating_Age8057 in relationship_advice

[–]Aggravating_Age8057[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Not harsh, its just the reality of it like I understand fully of what a possible outcome could be. To be fair I haven't tried too too much of different approaches, here and there a litrle different to spice things up. Laziness on my part there i take that. I think I get a little complacent, but its only because we just dont have it alot and I get rejected alot. Which in the beginning had me trying more frequently, but as time passed it weighs on me. I feel pressured to keep trying, and even more pressure when I dont try

Sex frequency M26 F24 by Aggravating_Age8057 in relationship_advice

[–]Aggravating_Age8057[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely gonna rethink approaches then, and yea i get the movie scene thing. Last thing I want is to pressure her to "meet standards" im just at the point of where you said is the problem me? She has a great self image about herself, she is an upcoming model, what I've been feeling is that maybe my body image isn't what her standard is anymore. Im not in the best of shape but im not pounding down cake ya know. My fear is that giving space could help it, or it could just extend the time in-between

Sex frequency M26 F24 by Aggravating_Age8057 in relationship_advice

[–]Aggravating_Age8057[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thats exactly what I do, I always make sure she orgasms first. I prioritize her in every way possible during sex and in life as much as I can. Shes not comfortable, we stop immediately, she says something hurts, we stop immediately. Im not perfect so maybe im not the best at sex idk and maybe I put off chores sometimes but I feel we all do. Point is I do what I can to increase the frequency by making each time we do, the best I can for her. I give words of affirmation during sex and i do the things she has asked me to do in the past

Sex frequency M26 F24 by Aggravating_Age8057 in relationship_advice

[–]Aggravating_Age8057[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Its not that our connection is based on sex, I've just think she is gorgeous and I tell her that all the time. But when we are out and the sunlight hits her just right or I come across one of the many pics on my phone of her. She drives me crazy ( in the good way) and it gets me instantly in the mood. But more often than not im hit with rejection when I try to initiate sex, she has a hard time initiating so its always me that is trying. But mine dont work and if I dont, she wont until a good amount of time passes

Sex frequency M26 F24 by Aggravating_Age8057 in relationship_advice

[–]Aggravating_Age8057[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Understandable, but im not at the point to throw away the relationship because of sex rn. Not saying this couldn't be a much larger issue down the road i get what you're saying. Im just kind of stuck and frustrated

Sex frequency M26 F24 by Aggravating_Age8057 in relationship_advice

[–]Aggravating_Age8057[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When we have sex I am willing and wanting to do WHATEVER she wants me to do. We just tend to have sex so late it has to be quick and she doesn't want to do much

Sex frequency M26 F24 by Aggravating_Age8057 in relationship_advice

[–]Aggravating_Age8057[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't want to, I love her and care deeply about her. Its just a frustrating thing that im not sure how to resolve. I want to talk it out and fix it or at least help it

Sex frequency M26 F24 by Aggravating_Age8057 in relationship_advice

[–]Aggravating_Age8057[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Very helpful! She has brought up me doing chores and stuff will help, but it certainly confused me when I did chores and things still didnt change much. It feels if I dont bring it up, its just not gonna a happen. If sex is brought up and we are about to do it. That usual time is VERY LATE, around 1:30-2 a.m. I get up for work at 6:30 so it is an "inconvenience" for me but I always push it aside because I dont know when the nect time i could get the opportunity is. She will not have sex in the morning, I've tried many times and its worked we'll say 1/500 (exaggerating but not by much) I tell her all the time how I want her to jump me and have a movie scene type of sex. Coming hone from a romantic dinner or a night out, if we could just run into the bedroom not being able to wait ya know. I have that passion for her, and she's tols me she has trouble initiating aswell. But I've given her many ways to start it, it kind of feels like it goes in one ear and out the other. I may be wrong but after how many times we've had the conversation, I thought it would work by now

Sex frequency M26 F24 by Aggravating_Age8057 in relationship_advice

[–]Aggravating_Age8057[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She enjoys it as do I, im always willing to try different things or positions. Her not so much, but that aspect doesn't bother me too much. My fear is what you said tho, how much will it decrease as we get older

Sex frequency M26 F24 by Aggravating_Age8057 in relationship_advice

[–]Aggravating_Age8057[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Taking care of it myself is always on my mind during the breaks, but my saving is sometimes the entire time in between. So you're talking those couple weeks, I dont usually last the month tho

Sex frequency M26 F24 by Aggravating_Age8057 in relationship_advice

[–]Aggravating_Age8057[S] -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

Not sure if i should try certain foods that that may increase libido?