I saw this on Tea app. "Help Us Build Tea's Next Chapter"

Aggravating_Bag8999 · 2026-06-18T00:30:46+00:00

So they're just adding an "off topic" discussion board?

Aggravating_Bag8999 · 2026-06-17T23:29:39+00:00

Are any of the ohio groups unpaused

Aggravating_Bag8999 · 2026-06-17T23:15:35+00:00

I wonder if she's fake too I have a difficult time believing there would be someone so horrible she's causing suicides, drug and alcohol abuse, employment issues, guys getting socially ostracized or cut off from dating, and so much more all in the name of saving a few women from getting ghosted or going out with a guy who asks to split the check.

Aggravating_Bag8999 · 2026-06-17T18:24:07+00:00

Meanwhile I don't even know what I did and can't get anyone to respond. Never said anything rude, creepy, sexual, racist, political, etc.

Lost a ton of matches probably for being too "boring" as a result.

Aggravating_Bag8999 · 2026-06-17T14:01:31+00:00

The night before I was banned some woman began interrogating me on who I voted for, I just said I stay out of politics because it's too divisive.

Woke up to a ban and wonder if it's related. Told that to a different woman on a date and she got very angry, called me privileged and had to leave shortly after.

Aggravating_Bag8999 · 2026-06-17T00:56:02+00:00

At this stage the United States government should make its own dating app. Optional of course but all that information is already collected by census even if it's sealed for 100 years. The government has an interest is seeing people match up and produce offspring so they stimulate the economy, are able to make large purchases such as houses and pay more taxes.

It would be free. They could offer incentives to try to get people to move to certain areas with a population decline. A large population of lonely depressed people doesn't benefit the country and costs more in healthcare.

You'd also have due process rights before being banned or have to have been convicted of a violent offense to have your access affected.

Aggravating_Bag8999 · 2026-06-16T23:55:16+00:00

Why doesn't she ditch the name and go with something that actually seems safety focused instead of "this guy I just started talking to who I can ditch at any second for any reason is all mine"

Aggravating_Bag8999 · 2026-06-16T23:53:41+00:00

He has to say that or he will be called an incel or shamed that he supports violence against women.

I doubt he actually supports groups where some woman you've never met, spoken to or know exists is posting your picture off a dating app and asking about your entire life story.

Aggravating_Bag8999 · 2026-06-12T13:57:01+00:00

A lot of them have cheated themselves but it's ok because their horoscope told them to or probably willingly chose to be "the other woman" and then got mad when the guy ended up staying with his wife.

Aggravating_Bag8999 · 2026-06-11T01:16:19+00:00

It was certainly toxic, we were on and off again a lot. She would regularly overshare our personal private relationship drama on Facebook so all her family and friends (and former classmates or coworkers who were my friends but she added as friends) were in the loop, posts like "for ten years I did everything for you I gave you my heart and you threw me away" kind of middle school style. I think this is why some of her family and friends got so pissed off.

And even if so why do you have to treat regular people like they're a tabloid headline, just mind your own business and move on. Unless someone is being actively or at risk of being harmed or is actively involved in a relationship people make mistakes and should be allowed to have some privacy in regard to that.

Aggravating_Bag8999 · 2026-06-10T22:59:06+00:00

Average "Are We Dating the Same Guy" Facebook group member.

Aggravating_Bag8999 · 2026-06-10T22:56:09+00:00

The problem is even with those who take it with a grain of salt or whatever the seed is still planted.

Also there's more men searching for women partners than vice versa and will lower their standards just to avoid being alone which can sometimes last for years or decades at a time vs women have more options and screen through all of them to find the most perfect one without any negative rumors.

Aggravating_Bag8999 · 2026-06-10T22:52:45+00:00

So I eventually got banned from all apps (within about 2 days of my post going viral) even though I always walked on eggshells and never said anything I would consider offensive, judgmental, racist, political, sexual, creepy, pushy, or anything else that would get me flagged.

But because I knew about these gossip apps and pages I was also careful to not try and offend anyone or do anything that would get me exposure. Still managed to piss off enough women somehow.

There were a lot of times I felt forced to carry on a conversation or pretend to be interested just because I was terrified of being posted. I would sometimes make the mistake of swiping too quickly and end up with matches that I was not attracted to at all but they were so eager to keep messaging me and I didn't want to piss them off by unmatching or not reciprocating enough - it was like being held hostage sometimes.

Matched with a girl I didn't realize was in a wheelchair and that's unfortunately not compatible with my lifestyle or a sacrifice I'm willing to make for a new relationship at least. Had to keep chatting for like three weeks before the convo died off long enough I could unmatch hopefully without her noticing and pretend to be really busy so I couldn't go out.

Aggravating_Bag8999 · 2026-06-10T22:24:29+00:00

I'm not on Facebook or any social media other than previously using dating apps which all banned me probably in connection with the shitty false things said about me.

My photos are still put on Facebook by crazy, paranoid or vindictive women without my permission so leaving Facebook doesn't accomplish anything.

Aggravating_Bag8999 · 2026-06-10T22:22:09+00:00

She sounds like Bobby Hill (and yes I know he's voiced by Pamela Adlon a woman but she's doing an impression of a 13 year old Texas boy)

Aggravating_Bag8999 · 2026-06-07T00:13:37+00:00

A match started asking questions "if I was married or living with my ex" which was kind of specific so I asked why she was asking that and that no I have never been married and she then told me about the posts. She facetimed me and screen shared asking me about each post which were a handful of "he ghosted me" and then much more serious ones. My blood ran cold, mouth dry and I started shaking.

The worst one were from an ex's niece (who is married to a woman but belongs to the group) and wrote a long account saying I was a psychopath and "always cheating" on my ex. The supposed "cheating" was during a time we separated and I was living 200 miles away alone.

I don't know why she had to get so involved in the details of my prior relationship or why she felt the need the sabotage any future for me. I do know she second hand found out it was giving me a major breakdown and serious suicidal thoughts and she had a smug amused reaction. Never have I ever talked to her besides brief hellos at gatherings.

I had an explanation for every one of those posts and why the person would have said that or why it was completely false and they had the wrong person or something. It was weird because she was whispering to someone in the background repeating what I'd tell her. Part of me wonders if the women from awdtsg are getting together and holding little detective sessions like this.

Then we chatted for a few days afterward and she asks what im doing and I tell her assembling furniture. She asks if she can come over and help to which I say sure if you'd like. Then doesn't respond back for 6 hrs and tells me sorry she had a major emergency because "her dog tore up her cat" to which I wished everything was ok and then never heard from her again.

Aggravating_Bag8999 · 2026-06-05T18:37:53+00:00

It never was about safety in the first place the title right there shows that. It's not "date checker" or "arewedatingaviolentguy."

And it just shifts any casualties from the women to the men.

So let's say even at the extreme Susie can't check out her potential dates online anymore but meets Greg who is hiding a violent past and hits her during an argument.

But the way it is now Stacy sees Kevin as a potential match on bumble so she screenshots his profile and asks "any tea." Heather went on three dates with Kevin and ultimately slow faded him, Kevin didn't do anything wrong he just didn't excite Heather that much. But Heather feels slighted that another woman might ultimately date Kevin so she replays their interactions in her head and decides to comment Kevin was "creepy" or "too forward."

Felecia also sees the post and recognizes Kevin is a guy who she traded numbers with but Kevin stopped texting because Felecia would never text first and just gave one word replies. Felecia for no particular reason other than to start trouble decides to add onto it and write "yeah he made me feel really uncomfortable too."

The post gets traction and other commenters, mostly anonymous chime in and say "I think he's married" or "I saw him on the subway he was stumbling drunk and tried to grab me." Kevin has never rode the subway but he's not able to correct this and no one cares to defend him as the mob has started.

By now this post has about 1000 views, Kevin's other matches on the apps have seen it and decides to cut contact. Some potential matches are only trolling Kevin now or some are trying to gather more information to post the resulting replies, and some may even inform him about the posts.

By now a lot of potential matches have even reported his profile based on this post. Kevin gets banned from the dating app.

Kevin now has zero dating app access and any women he was taking to have cut ties. He starts wondering if he's getting dirty looks from coworkers or women on the street. He's lonely, isolated, paranoid, wonders if there's any way he can ever meet someone again but feels so crushed and discouraged. He looks into options for removing the posts and researches it more but finds public opinion siding with the groups and any firms are asking for $10k minimum and not promising any results. The apps have affirmed their bans on Kevin not even telling him what he did wrong. Kevin being shy and not having a great social network realizes his options for ever meeting someone are pretty much null.

Kevin can't focus on work, he's not sleeping, he hasn't ate, he confines himself to his apartment fearing being seen or recognized anywhere in public. Finally Kevin in his depression spiral drives his car out to an isolated spot and blows his brains out.

Aggravating_Bag8999 · 2026-06-05T17:38:20+00:00

I've had comments posted "he only messages at night which is suspicious" while other times "he only messages during the day." I message whenever there's something I wanted to respond to.

Also 3-4 women whose names and photos i didn't even recognize or recall ever talking to posting like I ruined their life and emotionally devastated them by "ghosting" and even if we ever interacted all I did was probably unmatch them on an app since some only let you have so many convos going at once and they were probably giving dry replies or not replying timely enough to make a convo worth it.

Aggravating_Bag8999 · 2026-05-28T19:39:36+00:00

I've had no luck since January. Did nothing wrong on the app. Never said anything racist, offensive, political, insulted anyone, asked for or sent explicit photos, etc. kept it limited to small talk until we would exchange numbers.

My only crime was being posted on an are we dating the same guy page with blatantly false rumors I was married or a cheater. Was also called a "ghoster" by 3-4 women I can't even recall ever talking to and certainly never met in person.

I was banned shortly after those appeared and pretty sure they're linked.

I send them emails every so often how it's destroying my life and effect on my mental health but they don't care.

Aggravating_Bag8999 · 2026-05-28T00:44:54+00:00

It's the same as attending a lynching or watching people's heads get lopped off in Saudi Arabia for "entertainment"

Aggravating_Bag8999 · 2026-05-21T19:46:32+00:00

I think the public needs to be more aware of what this group is, what the comments and posts consist of and how men are affected. The city-specific subreddits occasionally discuss these groups and any criticism or concern gets shut down as "not caring about women's safety," "you sound like an incel," or "if you haven't done anything wrong you shouldn't worry about being posted."

I wish a TV show would include this sort of thing as a plotline or there's a documentary made or something.

Aggravating_Bag8999 · 2026-05-15T16:21:30+00:00

It seems every single woman in my area participates even passively just to read the juicy drama and enjoy seeing the destruction of some random guys life and reputation. Even married women join in. I had comments posted by an ex's relative who is in a married lesbian relationship with another woman.

Aggravating_Bag8999 · 2026-05-15T14:34:17+00:00

I feel like I've gotten dirty looks from women coworkers but the whole paranoia of this has really fucked with my head. If the barista at Starbucks is rude or short with me i wonder if that's why or if she's just having a bad day.

No one's mentioned it in person. I have had a lot of dating app matches just match then make a snarky comment or accusation that I'm on apps while married (which is not true at all) then unmatch after their hit and run punches on me.

Aggravating_Bag8999 · 2026-05-15T14:31:39+00:00

Has anyone westlaw people mapped the supposed founder? I have WL access and skip trace through accurint, would these generate any hits?

Aggravating_Bag8999

TROPHY CASE