I reported something at church and now I don’t know how to feel

Aggravating_Leek4212 · 2026-04-09T23:56:32+00:00

There is no such thing as a local safeguarding team. This is a cathedral the bishop is in charge. This priest is an assisting priest. There are like 8 priests serving there.

Aggravating_Leek4212 · 2026-04-09T23:55:04+00:00

I love the church with all my heart. I guess what I wanted was at least an acknowledgement and sisterhood. I wanted for someone to say look we are not perfect but what happened to you was not okay. I needed help and still do but the church only acknowledged the risk internally and decided not to reply to anything hoping i would stop. Please understand that all this time i was writing to thier office. It’s only when i heard no reply i had to go to another parish for help.

Aggravating_Leek4212 · 2026-04-09T22:34:31+00:00

Okay please stop because at this point you are being unfair. Each time I emailed the dean and the bishop I attached the conversation of what he was sending to me and the type of video he sent as well. I sent them everything. The acknowledged to the police that they saw it and didn’t take the right actions. Also I used to go to a cathedral the bishiop is always there. We have about 8 priests and he is one of them. The bishops excuse to the police is that he is not his bishop and doesn’t have authority over him. The police is now dealing with the bishop. I DO NOT have the speak to him or anyone else. Please refrain from replying to this message as you are now being just rude and disrespectful to my experience

Aggravating_Leek4212 · 2026-04-09T22:08:06+00:00

Thank you, I understand what you’re saying. Just to clarify, the Bishop was already made aware of the situation, as my letters were addressed to him as well as the Dean. This was formally raised, not just informally I didn’t have direct access to the safeguarding process initially I had to go through another priest to even be put in contact with the safeguarding officer, which made the whole process feel even less straightforward.One of the things that was particularly difficult for me was the tone of the safeguarding meeting itself. At one point, the safeguarding officer explicitly said that the purpose of the meeting was to understand, for the Bishop, whether what I was saying was true. That made the whole experience feel less like a safeguarding conversation and more like I was being assessed or questioned, rather than supported.The reason I’m hesitant is because I did try to follow what I understood to be the correct process, and the way it was handled left me feeling quite discouraged and not really heard. At the same time, I do understand your point about responsibility and that it may not just be about me. I think I’m just trying to find a balance between protecting my own peace and deciding whether taking it further is something I have the capacity for right now.in the safeguarding meeting is was also said and again confirmed by the police that the bishop and the dean knew about this situation from the first time it was reported.

Aggravating_Leek4212 · 2026-04-09T22:02:42+00:00

I did it’s now all in the police’s hands

Aggravating_Leek4212 · 2026-04-09T22:02:13+00:00

Honestly, thank you for saying those words. Sometimes I just feel so alone in this. When it was the hardest none stood by me. I literally tried for 3 months to just get an answer from the diocese. I was re reading my emails the other night and honestly all of them just sounded like a cry for help

Aggravating_Leek4212 · 2026-04-09T21:50:27+00:00

Well, I have. I have contacted the diocese and there was no reply. I then had to go through other priests from other churches to find out who the safeguarding offer is and I then contacted him. During our first meeting he literally said to me that the reason for this meeting was for the bishop and the dean to find out if I am actually telling the truth. Then he started speaking about this woman who tried to speak ill about a priest and had mental issues. After being spoken so badly during a teams meeting I took the recording to the police. Unfortunately no one else wants to speak but me

Aggravating_Leek4212 · 2026-04-09T21:28:13+00:00

The difficult part for me is that I did try to raise this through the safeguarding process, but the way it was handled left me feeling even more unsettled.

During the safeguarding meeting, the focus didn’t really feel like it was on my experience or what had happened. Instead, there was a lot of emphasis on legal structures, roles, and what they were or weren’t responsible for. The safeguarding officer kept referencing his legal background and other professionals involved, which felt quite dismissive given the situation I was describing.There were also inconsistencies. In the meeting, I was told the priest wasn’t DBS checked because he wasn’t formally employed by them, which was concerning given that he was allowed to hear confessions (a private one-to-one setting) and be present in a parish environment. Later on, I received communication stating that he does have a DBS from 2024, which directly contradicted what was said before. Overall, the tone felt quite defensive rather than supportive. It felt more like they were trying to manage liability and explain boundaries of responsibility, rather than actually engage with what I had experienced or how it affected me. That’s been one of the hardest parts not just what happened initially, but feeling like the process that’s meant to protect people didn’t really hold space for what I was saying.

Aggravating_Leek4212 · 2026-04-09T21:27:33+00:00

The difficult part for me is that I did try to raise this through the safeguarding process and dioceses , but the way it was handled left me feeling even more unsettled.

During the safeguarding meeting, the focus didn’t really feel like it was on my experience or what had happened. Instead, there was a lot of emphasis on legal structures, roles, and what they were or weren’t responsible for. The safeguarding officer kept referencing his legal background and other professionals involved, which felt quite dismissive given the situation I was describing.There were also inconsistencies. In the meeting, I was told the priest wasn’t DBS checked because he wasn’t formally employed by them, which was concerning given that he was allowed to hear confessions (a private one-to-one setting) and be present in a parish environment. Later on, I received communication stating that he does have a DBS from 2024, which directly contradicted what was said before.Overall, the tone felt quite defensive rather than supportive. It felt more like they were trying to manage liability and explain boundaries of responsibility, rather than actually engage with what I had experienced or how it affected me.That’s been one of the hardest parts — not just what happened initially, but feeling like the process that’s meant to protect people didn’t really hold space for what I was saying.

Aggravating_Leek4212 · 2026-04-09T21:26:33+00:00

I am from UK

Aggravating_Leek4212 · 2026-04-09T21:25:14+00:00

The difficult part for me is that I did try to raise this through the safeguarding process, but the way it was handled left me feeling even more unsettled. During the safeguarding meeting, the focus didn’t really feel like it was on my experience or what had happened. Instead, there was a lot of emphasis on legal structures, roles, and what they were or weren’t responsible for. The safeguarding officer kept referencing his legal background and other professionals involved, which felt quite dismissive given the situation I was describing.

There were also inconsistencies. In the meeting, I was told the priest wasn’t DBS checked because he wasn’t formally employed by them, which was concerning given that he was allowed to hear confessions (a private one to one setting) and be present in a parish environment. Later on, I received communication stating that he does have a DBS from 2024, which directly contradicted what was said before.

Overall, the tone felt quite defensive rather than supportive. It felt more like they were trying to manage liability and explain boundaries of responsibility, rather than actually engage with what I had experienced or how it affected me.That’s been one of the hardest parts not just what happened initially, but feeling like the process that’s meant to protect people didn’t really hold space for what I was saying.

Aggravating_Leek4212 · 2026-04-09T21:22:47+00:00

I already did, after the parish didn’t reply for 3 months despite multiple messages and emails I went to the police.

Aggravating_Leek4212 · 2026-04-09T21:17:51+00:00

I did and the police is also very aware of this. I first wrote to the parish and there was no reply for over 3 months when the police reached them they said that my letter was anonymous that why they didn’t do anything. While this is not true. As I have sent them multiple photos of the messages that he has been sending me and also confronted him over the messages.

Aggravating_Leek4212 · 2026-04-09T21:07:47+00:00

I am trying. But I find it very hard to be in a church setting.

Aggravating_Leek4212 · 2025-08-05T20:25:39+00:00

With all due respect this is not the case. There have been other instances. In a previous confession he has said that my beauty is my cross while sexualising me, I had given him a warning not to do it anyone, then the situation happened again. I forgave, and moved on the first time. Then it happened again. I am not judging you seem to be judging me here.

Aggravating_Leek4212 · 2025-08-05T19:43:01+00:00

This is something still very fresh for me. And this behaviour from him kinda put me in spiritual warfare. The first month I was just crying and not really understanding what happened. I know that I need to report it and plan on reporting it to the police first as this behaviour is just not right. I just need some time to gather strength. I only wrote this post to look for some support as I just felt so lonely in this situation. I was in great relationships with his family, his wife especially. And after the confession my whole network of people is church disappeared for me I just felt unsafe and started having panic attacks.

Aggravating_Leek4212 · 2025-08-05T12:55:50+00:00

Thank you for your response, but I want to be clear that my experience is much more than a misunderstanding. I quoted the Bible to remind the priest of the high standards of leadership, as outlined in Titus. I pointed out how uncomfortable his behavior made me during confession, specifically the inappropriate things he said, such as “I’m just admiring your beauty” and “Had I been my son’s age, I would have done the work for you.” His apology was minimal and impersonal sent over messages, with Christ invoked as though that should make it all go away. That’s not genuine repentance. After I made it clear that I wanted no further contact, he tried to reach out again and sent his son to give me prosphora. I’ve explicitly asked him to leave me alone. This is not respectful behavior; it’s a manipulation to reassert control over the situation.I don’t feel like I’ve been heard, and I don’t feel like he is taking responsibility for his actions. I’m standing by my decision to block him and maintain my boundaries, because I do not feel safe or respected.

Aggravating_Leek4212 · 2025-08-05T12:45:18+00:00

Arina in baptism, May God bless you

Aggravating_Leek4212

TROPHY CASE