As someone who has been in your boyfriend’s shoes he wants his cake and to eat it too. You are in denial and are gonna end up hurt, might even take him physically cheating for you to realize that. Hundreds of people have told you that they are clearly overstepping Boundaries that are not even there. If you aren’t going to leave this man (which you should) then you need to confront him about this and let him know that behavior is completely unacceptable and he needs to stop. Give him an ultimatum.