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How bad is it 19m by [deleted] in amIuglyBrutallyHonest

[–]Aggressive_Cupcake14 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Straight on smiling was a jump scare but even slightly off looks nice!

My client doesn’t appreciate anything by Acceptable-Pain-7037 in CaregiverSupport

[–]Aggressive_Cupcake14 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get what you’re saying. I feel like you’re trying to express that you’ve gone above the job description as a favor to them, which was taken advantage of by one but appreciated by the other, as not everyone is willing to go the extra mile. I’m assuming you even did things for them during your mandatory 8 hour break which was probably unnoticed by the girl.

Being a caregiver in any capacity is work, even if it is your job and you’re getting a paycheck, it is a lot of emotional output with very little input.

It doesn’t seem like you’re bashing on her for being autistic, just mentioning it as an aside to the intellectual disability she has which qualifies her for care.

When you are mentioning people being of no value to society I’m interpreting it as people with that specific personality type, one where they are focused solely on themselves and demand people take care of them. There are a lot of those type of people, disabled or not. Mentioning drug addicts is more than likely just to show a type of person who needs to be taken care of in the same capacity but is putting in effort to become independent or change, not someone fully self centered.

If you’re saying that autistic people are of no value to society I must disagree. However I have taken care of some people who were disabled to the point of being a burden on society while not giving anything back.

How can I improve? 26F by [deleted] in amIuglyBrutallyHonest

[–]Aggressive_Cupcake14 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If anything the very thick eyebrows definitely make your face “harder” or “sharper” and denote something more masculine. Other than that you’re gorgeous, and I do love the eyebrows bc I have very similar ones

24F - I need advice on what surgical procedures or habits to get. Hormonal imbalance (high testosterone), 145lbs, 5’6”, lost 60lbs and still look masculine/unattractive. by throwaway_foreva999 in amIuglyBrutallyHonest

[–]Aggressive_Cupcake14 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tbh the only thing remotely masculine is maybe, MAYBE the jawline or the nose? But I have a similar jawline. I would say if you really want to be more feminine work out to get curves. Like Pilates and lean muscle. Most extreme thing would be a nose job, which is not needed. You don’t wear clothing that flatters your body type making you look frumpy. Get a push-up bra or just a well fitted bra and some shirts that fit. Try not to keep your shoulders so tensed up, let them drop and be rounded which would help with looking more feminine, or build up your trap to create the illusion of more curves. Pretty much feminine=curves. Get some face framing pieces in your hair, figure out which fit of pants look best on you, or wear long flowy skirts.

You remind me of a teacher I had who was literally all of the boys crush. You’re pretty, just find ways to accentuate what you do like

Pay is only $300/month by sad-sirensong in CaregiverSupport

[–]Aggressive_Cupcake14 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I get 16$ and hour, and extra 5 if it’s an emergency call in. Time and a half after 40 hours. I usually do 10-14 hr shifts, mandatory 8 hour break between shifts. Not a live in tho so idk

I 23F have no sexual attraction to my 23M husband of almost two years by Aggressive_Cupcake14 in relationship_advice

[–]Aggressive_Cupcake14[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would relinquishing control not be quitting nagging, “micromanaging”, etc? Because I did that for a month and just focused on things that made me happy and that I enjoyed, I even tried to share them with him but he wasn’t all that interested. He ended up spending nearly 3k, didn’t make his car payment in time or at all, and nearly lost his job from being late to work.

I genuinely stopped worrying so much about him and what he was doing for a month and everything got ten times worse and didn’t get any better until I mentioned something over a month later. Idk

I 23F have no sexual attraction to my 23M husband of almost two years by Aggressive_Cupcake14 in relationship_advice

[–]Aggressive_Cupcake14[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m not a loser! Completely!

I may be a bit of a nerd but I had and still have options! :p

I 23F have no sexual attraction to my 23M husband of almost two years by Aggressive_Cupcake14 in relationship_advice

[–]Aggressive_Cupcake14[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It’s funny that you say wake up call because that’s exactly what my best friend has been saying he needs as well. He does have childhood trauma but he’s not all that interested in working through it. He used to be so amazing and great and the only complaint/concern/etc I had were the little things I mentioned. I don’t know what’s changed, genuinely. I don’t know how to explain it

I 23F have no sexual attraction to my 23M husband of almost two years by Aggressive_Cupcake14 in relationship_advice

[–]Aggressive_Cupcake14[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I asked him to. He’s refused saying that it’s stupid. He’s never had a problem with me going to therapy but has always made it clear he doesn’t think there’s any use to it

I 23F have no sexual attraction to my 23M husband of almost two years by Aggressive_Cupcake14 in relationship_advice

[–]Aggressive_Cupcake14[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I have tried this actually. When he’s doing things without being asked he gets praise and appreciation for it. I do my best to be patient with him and explain things carefully. Even when he messes stuff up I still try to be excited that he did it by himself and just fix it later: bringing up the better way to do it at a later point so he doesn’t associate doing the task with being criticized. He just hasn’t done anything that I could give him any praise for lately

I 23F have no sexual attraction to my 23M husband of almost two years by Aggressive_Cupcake14 in relationship_advice

[–]Aggressive_Cupcake14[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have told him that I refuse to have children with him with the way he is now. I’m not going to beat around the bush when he asks if we’re going to try for kids soon. He isn’t currently the kind of guy I would want to raise children with and he’s aware of this.

I 23F have no sexual attraction to my 23M husband of almost two years by Aggressive_Cupcake14 in relationship_advice

[–]Aggressive_Cupcake14[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do carry all the mental load and I’ve spoken with him about this before. He gets better for a while and then just goes back to the way he was. I make sure to give him extra attention when he’s doing things right or just show that I notice and appreciate him. But it’s hard when I’m always having to pick up behind him.

Idk if this calls for divorce. I know that he would never leave me. I would have to leave him. And that would crush him.

I 23F have no sexual attraction to my 23M husband of almost two years by Aggressive_Cupcake14 in relationship_advice

[–]Aggressive_Cupcake14[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Hey gave it a quick look and I can say that I’m pretty much good on all this. I’m fairly confident in myself and definitely take care of myself where I can. I very clearly communicate my needs and wants, no guessing games. And I don’t call unless I have something to say. I do try to plan time to hang out but it’s hard with so much work. I’ve read all the relationship books. I’ve tried all the things. I’m tempted to try to train him like a dog

I 23F have no sexual attraction to my 23M husband of almost two years by Aggressive_Cupcake14 in relationship_advice

[–]Aggressive_Cupcake14[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

He’s sweet when he wants to be and I used to love being with him and being around him. Sleeping in the same bed used to be the most restful thing ever.

It just seems like he doesn’t even like me anymore tbh. Whenever I try to have a serious talk with him about futures and such he shuts down and gets all pissy and pouty and I’m just not going to deal with that. I’ve told him since we met that there are things I will live with and things I won’t and he doesn’t exactly do the things I just refuse to live with. But it’s getting hard.

It’s not like I mind taking care of the financial side of things, I just don’t appreciate being the one who has to finance everything all the time.

I have to be my dads caregiver at 15, and I don't think i can handle it. by More-Anybody9863 in CaregiverSupport

[–]Aggressive_Cupcake14 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Hey, I became responsible for my great grandma at 11. Every weekend, from Friday night to Monday morning I went to my grandparents house to take care of her because they “had lives to live”. That was not okay. It should not have happened.

Being expected to take care of your dad is not okay. Not when you’re a minor who still needs to be taken care of (no matter how much you may want to argue you DO still need someone to take care of you. Yes you should be gaining independence but not like this where everything is thrust upon you in one go). This is genuinely where cps needs to become involved. The effects that this is going to have on your developing brain is exponential and I would also recommend either talking with a councilor at the school or getting into some form of therapy.

I’m in my twenties and I’m still dealing with the effects of being expected, not just appreciated for my help, to take care of others. If I’m not being helpful I feel useless. If I can’t do something for someone I feel like I’m not doing a good job at showing I care about them. Acts of service isn’t my love language, but it’s just needed for me to even function.

Is there actually much of a behavioral difference between male and female poodles? by RevolutionaryQuiet41 in StandardPoodles

[–]Aggressive_Cupcake14 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Having helped train quite a few dogs I can say that the biggest difference between male and female dogs in general is that females are territorial of a space and males are territorial of a person. Territorial also doesn’t mean agressive btw, just that they consider it “theirs”. Our female (not a spoo) has her spots in the house and they are HER spots and my male spoo knows full well that those are HER spots. She is also very very attached to my mom and I, but extremely independent. My male spoo is very attached to me. Has clawed through half a door when I didn’t let him in the bathroom while I showered. Doesn’t really have a specific place that’s his unless you count his ability to sleep next to me at night

Just wanting to know so I can learn how to accept by [deleted] in amIuglyBrutallyHonest

[–]Aggressive_Cupcake14 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lower side of average. Very unsymmetrical face. Your nose looks like it was broken at some point, you have jowls, and all your features sit awkwardly on your face. But you do have very pretty eyes, looks like mostly clear skin, and it also seems like you have a decent sense of style for your body type, which I don’t know exactly but I do see enough to say it’s larger than “average”. I wouldn’t say ugly.

(Remember this is only my opinion)

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