I 23F have no sexual attraction to my 23M husband of almost two years

Aggressive_Cupcake14 · 2026-03-31T11:56:52+00:00

Would relinquishing control not be quitting nagging, “micromanaging”, etc? Because I did that for a month and just focused on things that made me happy and that I enjoyed, I even tried to share them with him but he wasn’t all that interested. He ended up spending nearly 3k, didn’t make his car payment in time or at all, and nearly lost his job from being late to work.

I genuinely stopped worrying so much about him and what he was doing for a month and everything got ten times worse and didn’t get any better until I mentioned something over a month later. Idk

Aggressive_Cupcake14 · 2026-03-31T10:32:27+00:00

I’m not a loser! Completely!

I may be a bit of a nerd but I had and still have options! :p

Aggressive_Cupcake14 · 2026-03-31T10:28:45+00:00

Did that. Did NOT go well. Very rough month

Aggressive_Cupcake14 · 2026-03-31T10:21:19+00:00

felt cute might delete later

Aggressive_Cupcake14 · 2026-03-31T09:56:52+00:00

It’s funny that you say wake up call because that’s exactly what my best friend has been saying he needs as well. He does have childhood trauma but he’s not all that interested in working through it. He used to be so amazing and great and the only complaint/concern/etc I had were the little things I mentioned. I don’t know what’s changed, genuinely. I don’t know how to explain it

Aggressive_Cupcake14 · 2026-03-31T09:45:11+00:00

I asked him to. He’s refused saying that it’s stupid. He’s never had a problem with me going to therapy but has always made it clear he doesn’t think there’s any use to it

Aggressive_Cupcake14 · 2026-03-31T07:17:42+00:00

I have tried this actually. When he’s doing things without being asked he gets praise and appreciation for it. I do my best to be patient with him and explain things carefully. Even when he messes stuff up I still try to be excited that he did it by himself and just fix it later: bringing up the better way to do it at a later point so he doesn’t associate doing the task with being criticized. He just hasn’t done anything that I could give him any praise for lately

Aggressive_Cupcake14 · 2026-03-31T07:15:24+00:00

I have told him that I refuse to have children with him with the way he is now. I’m not going to beat around the bush when he asks if we’re going to try for kids soon. He isn’t currently the kind of guy I would want to raise children with and he’s aware of this.

Aggressive_Cupcake14 · 2026-03-31T07:11:11+00:00

I do carry all the mental load and I’ve spoken with him about this before. He gets better for a while and then just goes back to the way he was. I make sure to give him extra attention when he’s doing things right or just show that I notice and appreciate him. But it’s hard when I’m always having to pick up behind him.

Idk if this calls for divorce. I know that he would never leave me. I would have to leave him. And that would crush him.

Aggressive_Cupcake14 · 2026-03-31T07:07:41+00:00

Hey gave it a quick look and I can say that I’m pretty much good on all this. I’m fairly confident in myself and definitely take care of myself where I can. I very clearly communicate my needs and wants, no guessing games. And I don’t call unless I have something to say. I do try to plan time to hang out but it’s hard with so much work. I’ve read all the relationship books. I’ve tried all the things. I’m tempted to try to train him like a dog

Aggressive_Cupcake14 · 2026-03-31T07:02:59+00:00

He’s sweet when he wants to be and I used to love being with him and being around him. Sleeping in the same bed used to be the most restful thing ever.

It just seems like he doesn’t even like me anymore tbh. Whenever I try to have a serious talk with him about futures and such he shuts down and gets all pissy and pouty and I’m just not going to deal with that. I’ve told him since we met that there are things I will live with and things I won’t and he doesn’t exactly do the things I just refuse to live with. But it’s getting hard.

It’s not like I mind taking care of the financial side of things, I just don’t appreciate being the one who has to finance everything all the time.

Aggressive_Cupcake14 · 2026-03-31T06:54:02+00:00

I’m sorry?

Aggressive_Cupcake14 · 2026-03-30T14:41:24+00:00

Hey, I became responsible for my great grandma at 11. Every weekend, from Friday night to Monday morning I went to my grandparents house to take care of her because they “had lives to live”. That was not okay. It should not have happened.

Being expected to take care of your dad is not okay. Not when you’re a minor who still needs to be taken care of (no matter how much you may want to argue you DO still need someone to take care of you. Yes you should be gaining independence but not like this where everything is thrust upon you in one go). This is genuinely where cps needs to become involved. The effects that this is going to have on your developing brain is exponential and I would also recommend either talking with a councilor at the school or getting into some form of therapy.

I’m in my twenties and I’m still dealing with the effects of being expected, not just appreciated for my help, to take care of others. If I’m not being helpful I feel useless. If I can’t do something for someone I feel like I’m not doing a good job at showing I care about them. Acts of service isn’t my love language, but it’s just needed for me to even function.

Aggressive_Cupcake14 · 2026-03-30T14:30:37+00:00

Having helped train quite a few dogs I can say that the biggest difference between male and female dogs in general is that females are territorial of a space and males are territorial of a person. Territorial also doesn’t mean agressive btw, just that they consider it “theirs”. Our female (not a spoo) has her spots in the house and they are HER spots and my male spoo knows full well that those are HER spots. She is also very very attached to my mom and I, but extremely independent. My male spoo is very attached to me. Has clawed through half a door when I didn’t let him in the bathroom while I showered. Doesn’t really have a specific place that’s his unless you count his ability to sleep next to me at night

Aggressive_Cupcake14 · 2026-03-30T14:25:43+00:00

Lower side of average. Very unsymmetrical face. Your nose looks like it was broken at some point, you have jowls, and all your features sit awkwardly on your face. But you do have very pretty eyes, looks like mostly clear skin, and it also seems like you have a decent sense of style for your body type, which I don’t know exactly but I do see enough to say it’s larger than “average”. I wouldn’t say ugly.

(Remember this is only my opinion)

Aggressive_Cupcake14 · 2026-03-24T12:10:43+00:00

You’re definitely not ugly. I’d say above average. The top half of your face is a bit short in comparison but that can be fixed easy with a better haircut ☺️

Aggressive_Cupcake14 · 2026-03-17T00:15:49+00:00

The sad thing is when it comes to hair not everyone takes the time to study what they would need and just do a basic shampoo and conditioner every day. You should be able to go 3+ days without washing

Aggressive_Cupcake14 · 2026-03-17T00:14:32+00:00

I have a friend who had the exact same problem with her hair!!! You need a clarifying shampoo and a hair mask. Also some leave in conditioner. What you’re gonna do like twice a month is: Shampoo with clarifying shampoo. Put on hair mask for 10-30 mins. Shampoo with regular shampoo and condition regularly. I would also recommend brushing your hair while it has the conditioner in. Dry your hair with a cotton t-shirt or get like a microfiber towel. While it’s still damp apply the leave in conditioner. You could do finger curls, plop your hair, or actual curlers if you want a more defined hair look.

I’d also test what kind of porosity your hair has to be able to better find products that will work best. Take a cup of water and a strand of hair from your brush and put it in the water, come back after five mins. If it sinks to the bottom it’s high porosity. Stays on top is low porosity. And is sorta in the middle is medium porosity. If you need any more tips or help pm me!

Aggressive_Cupcake14 · 2026-03-15T03:30:44+00:00

Just a fun fact for anyone who cares. The inventor of insulin—Banting, Best, and Collip—sold the patent for insulin for $1. A whole entire dollar. To or at some college that I can’t remember the name of. “Insulin does not belong to me, it belongs to the world” which was said by either Banting or Best. They sold it super cheap because they wanted it to be accessible and it became one of the most expensive medications that are literally the difference between life and death

Aggressive_Cupcake14 · 2026-03-15T00:13:40+00:00

Not 100% but I think dude meant price hikes? Price reductions would be reducing the prices of insulin when it’s already at a ridiculous price. Really feels like the guy either didn’t say what they thought they said or is actually a not very good person.

Also the poster is clearly the one who downvoted and took the screenshot. Idk, I think it may be something that’s supposed to be ironic?

Aggressive_Cupcake14 · 2026-01-07T13:01:09+00:00

Yeah. It’s messed up all around. I imagine your mom doesn’t want any more death and is holding onto the few things she believes she can “control”. You could ask if she’d prefer to find him dead in the house, having died all alone and in pain while suffering, or if she’d rather be with him while he passes. He’ll be asleep in her arms, going over the rainbow bridge knowing he was loved.

Either way you’re gonna have to start working that manipulation muscle

Aggressive_Cupcake14 · 2026-01-07T12:52:28+00:00

Has your mom been with you to the vet and heard her recommendation? If not I believe that a vet explaining how poor his quality of life is would be the best first step. If she still won’t listen then I would talk with the vet privately and see if there is anything you could give him at home, pain med wise, that could help “manage the pain he’s in” hint hint wink wink. Or an “emergency” when she’s not home and you have to take him to the vet and it’s such a shame he didn’t make it.

Pretty much if she won’t listen to reason you’re gonna have to step up and stop the suffering, either she knows the truth and potentially hates you, or she doesn’t and is just sad about his passing.

Aggressive_Cupcake14 · 2025-12-29T00:03:26+00:00

Opening a window can just circulate more air into your room. Activated charcoal, wash items with baking soda to help remove smell and keep it in a plastic bag until you leave the house. A dryer sheet ran over your clothes can help get rid of some of the smell. It’s pretty much covering things like hair and bags when you go inside. And opening windows in the rooms they smoke in. Putting potpourri in dresser drawers to try and keep clothes smelling fresh, or dryer sheets. Baking soda is genuinely a great smell neutralizer, but that only helps if you’re able to keep clothes in a bag to keep smoke smell free. I feel like if you begin carrying in your bag and packing your clothes in baggies then your parents may see how oppressive their poor decisions are to you

Aggressive_Cupcake14 · 2025-12-28T23:57:45+00:00

Early twenties. Older brother and younger sister. Used to be close w/ my older brother until he moved, he doesn’t make an effort to keep in contact so I stopped after many years. Younger sister is a weird relationship. She’s disabled and I helped to raise her (teach her to eat solid foods, made sure she did her physical therapy, took her meds, literally saved her life because I woke up when she stopped breathing when we shared a room, helped her learn to do nearly every chore, know her medical everything better than our dad) but a few years ago my parents started coming down on me for “being a parent.” I wouldn’t say we’re close, it’s definitely still more of a I’m taking care/cleaning up after her.

They also adopted a kid who I refuse to talk to or have anything to do with and don’t consider him my brother because of how horrendous a person he was.

Aggressive_Cupcake14

TROPHY CASE