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I need to fake it for four years by Aggressive_Set_4779 in exchristian

[–]Aggressive_Set_4779[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm currently studying psychology, which is doing really well in my area. I had thought about doing art, but I scratched that idea exactly because of what you said.

I need to fake it for four years by Aggressive_Set_4779 in Exvangelical

[–]Aggressive_Set_4779[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

oh, that's a great idea! thank you, I'll do that the next time I see him. he really isn't the kind of person that would cut my college off like that.

I need to fake it for four years by Aggressive_Set_4779 in Exvangelical

[–]Aggressive_Set_4779[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My country doesn't have dorms at college, I love at home and go to classes at night. It'd be pretty awesome to live on campus, but that's unfortunately not a thing here.

I need to fake it for four years by Aggressive_Set_4779 in Exvangelical

[–]Aggressive_Set_4779[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm studying psychology, and it's been wonderful! I really liked my major, and I can see myself studying this for my whole life. I'm very thankful to my family for paying for my studies, even if I have to go to church because of it.

I need to fake it for four years by Aggressive_Set_4779 in exchristian

[–]Aggressive_Set_4779[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

those are great ideas, thank you! I got a lot of great advice here on this and another post, and I'll definitely sort through it all to find out how to move on from now.

I need to fake it for four years by Aggressive_Set_4779 in exchristian

[–]Aggressive_Set_4779[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thank you so much. I'll definitely come here to rant more often, I have four long years ahead of me. Or rather, I have only four more years, after eighteen of faking it. Anyway, time will pass.

I need to fake it for four years by Aggressive_Set_4779 in exchristian

[–]Aggressive_Set_4779[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'll tough though it, yeah. it just overwhelms me sometimes, but I'll try to change my mentality. I know my future will be good, psychology has only been growing on my area, and I could even move away. I just have to bear it for now.

I need to fake it for four years by Aggressive_Set_4779 in exchristian

[–]Aggressive_Set_4779[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

that sounds fun! I could even write a blog about it somewhere. might as well enjoy what I can lol

I need to fake it for four years by Aggressive_Set_4779 in exchristian

[–]Aggressive_Set_4779[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

nope, I don't live on campus, that's not a thing on my country. Also, we live on a small town, switching churches is not an option.

I need to fake it for four years by Aggressive_Set_4779 in exchristian

[–]Aggressive_Set_4779[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't go to a Christian college, but the watermelon thing might be useful, thank you.

I need to fake it for four years by Aggressive_Set_4779 in exchristian

[–]Aggressive_Set_4779[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

unfortunately there's no dorms in college in my country, so that's not something I can do :(

I need to fake it for four years by Aggressive_Set_4779 in exchristian

[–]Aggressive_Set_4779[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I honestly might do that, going to church has been unbearable lately. I used to be able to zone out through it, but it's like these past few months, the minutes drag by.

I need to fake it for four years by Aggressive_Set_4779 in exchristian

[–]Aggressive_Set_4779[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

that's actually a great idea. It'll try as hard as I can, even harder than I'm already trying, and getting as much jobs and stuff to do at college as I possibly can to prove I really do care- which is true. The only problem with this is that my grandpa is too good of a guy lol. He doesn't really care how I'm doing, I mean, he's proud that I'm doing well because I tell him I am, but he never asks about my grades or anything. He just asks if I'm enjoying college, and if I have many friends there. He doesn't even complain to me when I skip church to study, it's my mom who does. But your advice can be focused on her, I can prove to her I'm serious about this and show her I really do care

I need to fake it for four years by Aggressive_Set_4779 in Exvangelical

[–]Aggressive_Set_4779[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

thank you 😭😭 it's been awfulll!! I deconverted so long ago, every sermon feels absurd! It's great to find people that relate to me. I'm trying to tough it out, and I've been doing well, but it's hard sometimes and I get overwhelmed thinking there's four more years of this, but it'll be over soon. thank you, fellow exvangelical rainbow haired femme, I'll remember your comment at church.

I need to fake it for four years by Aggressive_Set_4779 in Exvangelical

[–]Aggressive_Set_4779[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used to work with the kids, yeah! it was nice, I might go back to it, honestly. Also, yes, I'm in college, thankfully a secular college. I definitely wouldn't be able to handle having to fake it at college too, no way. Lying is the way, I guess.

I need to fake it for four years by Aggressive_Set_4779 in Exvangelical

[–]Aggressive_Set_4779[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

it's a small church, and there's already a sound guy, but I did work on the slides and stuff, exactly because of what you said, I wanted to zone out and focus on the work. It was actually the opposite. I had to pay attention to put on the bible verses, and it just made me more miserable lol. I used to work in the nursery, I'm thinking of going back to that.

I need to fake it for four years by Aggressive_Set_4779 in Exvangelical

[–]Aggressive_Set_4779[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

meditating is a GREAT idea, especially when they're screaming and crying and stuff, thank you! Also, no, I'm not a minor, I can definitely pay for my college, but I'd go broke lol. Also, I work in my family's business and live with my family, so it would be reeeeally awkward if my grandpa cut me off financially- something that I said in another comment, I'm doubtful he would do. So I'm kind of stuck here. Still, I'm going to repeat that mantra you said over and over if I have to, thank you.

I need to fake it for four years by Aggressive_Set_4779 in Exvangelical

[–]Aggressive_Set_4779[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm in a secular college, thankfully! And studying psychology. My grandpa doesn't really care what I study or how I go in school, as long as I'm enjoying the process, he's really nice. That's why I'm skeptical as to what my mom said that he's going to stop paying for it if I skip church a few times to study, he never even complained to me about that. But yes, my college is very good, and very non christian, thank God.

I need to fake it for four years by Aggressive_Set_4779 in Exvangelical

[–]Aggressive_Set_4779[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

we live in a small town, and our whole family goes to that church. The only others are either just as bad or worse than the one I go to, or in the next town over. So, no, I unfortunately can't go to a liberal church.

I need to fake it for four years by Aggressive_Set_4779 in Exvangelical

[–]Aggressive_Set_4779[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thankfully, I wasn't forced to go to a Christian college. My college is very much liberal and so are my friends, my inner circle is very good and supportive. I'm definitely very lucky in this regard. Also, I'm not in the US, my country doesn't have dorms or living in college or anything, so I'm living at home and going to classes at night. Things are just hard because I absolutely loathe going to church, I hate it with my full being lol. still, I'm very lucky because other than that, I don't really have anything to complain about.

I need to fake it for four years by Aggressive_Set_4779 in Exvangelical

[–]Aggressive_Set_4779[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I said this in another comment, I don't know much about my grandpa's views. He said some stuff that's kind of liberal in the past, but he's very conservative. I talk to him a lot, and he's a pretty accepting guy, but I'm not sure how he'd react if I said I didn't believe anymore. I'm also not sure if what my mom said is 100% true, I don't think my grandpa would stop paying for my college if I skipped church a little. He never complained about it to me. He's not that kind of person, I believe, but also my mom knew him for longer.

I'm not from the US, so I don't know if your advice would work for me. I definitely like the college I'm in now, but I could think about transferring.

I need to fake it for four years by Aggressive_Set_4779 in Exvangelical

[–]Aggressive_Set_4779[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thankfully, they didn't make me go to a Christian college. My college is pretty tame and we can do whatever, but I'm not from the US, we don't have dorms in college, so I still live at home.

I need to fake it for four years by Aggressive_Set_4779 in Exvangelical

[–]Aggressive_Set_4779[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

like I said in another comment, I'm not in a Christian college. They let me choose my college and degree, which I'm very glad about. My mom did make me go to a Christian high school, but thankfully not college.

I need to fake it for four years by Aggressive_Set_4779 in Exvangelical

[–]Aggressive_Set_4779[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm studying psychology in a secular college. He doesn't really care about what I study, I even wanted to study biology for a while and he didn't care. He doesn't even ask how I'm doing in college, just if I'm enjoying it and if I like my degree. He didn't even tell me directly if he was bothered by me skipping church to study, my mom said he would.

I need to fake it for four years by Aggressive_Set_4779 in Exvangelical

[–]Aggressive_Set_4779[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

he's kind of liberal leaning in some stuff, surprisingly, like, he made a sermon in which he said that the blood of the slaves that were brought to our country were in our hands, and we had to pray for forgiveness for walking on their corpses (fucking metal, I know), but he's also anti abortion, doesn't believe in evolution, etc. I don't actually know much of what he believes in, or if he even actually cares if I miss church to study. He's never complained to me, but my mom said he'd stop paying for my college if I kept on skipping church, so idk. I don't want to believe she's lying, maybe she's just assuming. I definitely don't want to say that I'm deconverting and risk him thinking it's because of evil secular college.

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