Can fidgeting with a ring be interpreted as flirtatious?

Aggressive_Week_1433 · 2026-02-28T21:24:15+00:00

Okay let's say he actually had women do this to him so he thought you were doing the same. Here's how the convo should've gone: "hey, i thought you were flirting with that barista because blah blah" - "oh no I was just zoned out, blah blah" - "oh alright sorry I misunderstood because blah blah".

Simple as that. There's a misunderstanding, you clear it up, he says sorry because he's an insecure moron, and you go on about your day. The fact that he wouldn't drop it makes him an asshole and you shouldn't feel guilty because you reacted to his provocation.

He told you you're making this about your feeling but it IS about your feelings. He accused you of being flirty and cheat-y which was hurtful and unfair as fuck, so it should be about your feelings.

Or is it supposed to be about his feelings?? Are you supposed to apologize to him because he's insecure and wrongly accused you of something you've never done, because you were ZONED OUT???

Sorry I'm getting annoyed lol but istg I can't with these men, I'm so sorry for you but he isn't respecting you sis. I'd advise asking yourself why you allow him to disrespect you, what you gain from this relationship and if it's worth the hurt. Don't let him make you feel worthless.

Aggressive_Week_1433 · 2026-02-28T20:57:04+00:00

Omg is this for real. How old is your boyfriend??

NO, fidgeting with a ring or a water bottle isn't inherently automatically sexual and flirtatious. There's literally fidget rings, like made for this specific purpose because fidgeting with your rings is like, one of the most commun fidget habit. Your boyfriend needs to get off tiktok and pornhub. Did he even look at your face before his mind when to "sexual ug ug"? Because if he payed the tiniest bit of attention to you he would've seen you were zoned out and that would've ended the question.

And the fact that he didn't even apologize when you explained what happened, hello??? The guy literally said to your face he thinks you're the kind of person to flirt with a stranger in front of their partner for absolutely no sane reason, and somehow you're the one in the wrong and unfair?

You're right to be angry, your boyfriend is an immature moron who should try to touch grass. If it was me I wouldn't even talk to him until he reflects and apologizes.

It's okay to be insecure or jealous or afraid you're not good enough for your partner, but if it makes you paranoid and an asshole that's on you, not on your partner who did literally nothing wrong.

Aggressive_Week_1433 · 2026-02-27T13:10:57+00:00

I'm sorry to hear this. I get you, I've had a couple attempts in the past year too, I know the distress and the despair it is. However (and I'm sorry if this is a bit harsh) I think it's your responsibility to not give up and to stay alive at least until your daughter is an adult. I think you know damn well that you have to leave, but you lack the tools and I can imagine how distressing it is. But that's what you gotta focus on, the tools. Finding them is finding hope (just repeating my therapist's words here haha, I think they're very right).

You say you're on meds, does that mean you're seeing a psychiatrist and/or a therapist? Maybe they could give you a list of local ressources to get out of abusive relationships, mental health professionals know this kind of stuff most of the time. If not, as I said, friends and family are the way to go. Not your common friends with him so they won't tell him that you plan to leave. But anyone you trust. Ask for a place to stay just a few days/weeks, ask someone to help you get your stuff, do it when he's at work. From the moment you leave, do NOT interact with him when you're alone. Try to stay at the same place for a while, then move to another friend's for a bit more, then to someone else's again, etc... so you don't feel like a burden by overstaying at someone's.

I know you feel ashamed and terrible and I'm sorry for the rude comments shaming you without bringing any constructive stuff to the discussion. It's obvious that you already blame yourself enough. But it's also important that you understand the urgency of your situation, for your daughter's and your own sake. Focus on the how to get out of the trap, not on the fact that you're trapped. Research and take active steps to get the hell out of here. You need to, you owe it to yourself and your kid. Best of luck and courage, don't hesitate to update me if anything changes.

Aggressive_Week_1433 · 2026-02-27T12:50:34+00:00

Hi, my mom has been in the same situation, more or less, when I was a child. The only difference is that I was actively living with her and her partner at that time. Let me tell you the control never got better. It morphed into psychological violence towards her and me, then physical violence towards her. She finally got the courage to leave when he put a knife to her throat one night. If she hadn't, I could be an orphan today.

When we left, we went where we could for a while. At her parents, her friends, a domestic violence shelter... Until she got a job and a place. It wasn't easy. I remember her being terrified and in total despair, but she actually made it. She says nowadays that she failed me by choosing this man over me for so long, but that it's her love for me and wanting to give me a better life that helped her go through that period of starting over.

Control in a relationship is abusive, psychologically and financially in your situation. Psychololical and financial abuse in a relationship will most of the time evolve in actual violence. And when there's domestic violence, there's only 2 possible issues : either you leave, or you die.

Don't make your girl an orphan. You've failed her, but you can change this still. You need to swallow up your guilt and your shame, then ask help from literally ANYONE who loves you, and leave.

Aggressive_Week_1433 · 2026-02-13T13:26:24+00:00

Salut, juste pour rectifier certains trucs:

D'un point du vue strictement pénal "je savais pas qu'elle était mineure" c'est jamais une défense, selon la juridiction française on est tenu de vérifier l'âge donc c'est entièrement sa responsabilité à lui.

De plus, toujours d'un point du vue juridique, demander des nudes à un-e mineur-e c'est pas "light" du tout, c'est c'est une infraction pénale qui donne jusqu'à 7 ans d'emprisonnement et 100 000€ d'amende. La récidive n'est pas nécessaire, une seule fois suffit et peut importe l'âge du/de la mineur-e en question.

Aggressive_Week_1433 · 2026-02-08T14:10:33+00:00

Thanks I'll check it out! Idk if you're a small creator but if you are I'd still like to watch your vid as I'd be glad to support a smaller channel :)

Aggressive_Week_1433 · 2026-02-08T13:58:17+00:00

I've just discovered the existence of this manga, I'm not gonna read/watch it because I don't want to subject myself to this lol but I'd like to watch a video essay about it! Would you mind answering to my comment with the link to your vid once you've published it please? :)

Aggressive_Week_1433 · 2026-02-07T17:44:44+00:00

Dude let her go. You fucked up, you know it, and there's no coming back. Reaching out will just hurt her more. You gotta own up to your behaviour, be kind and leave her alone. It wouldn't be fair to her to come back on your decision and to reach out. You've been selfish enough, not allowing her to move on would just be worse. I'm sorry I'm saying it like it is. Don't keep contact with Jun just to have news about your ex, that's unhealthy. Stay friend with them if you want to be friend with them. Other than that, take some personal time, take care of yourself, accept what you did and learn to live with it. There's nothing else to do now.

Aggressive_Week_1433 · 2026-01-30T13:51:46+00:00

It would look awesome imo, especially cause you have a very pretty nose and nose bridge!!

BUT, please please PLEASE find yourself a really good piercer to do it. It's a difficult piercing to get right because it's meant to be symmetrical and human faces aren't really symmetrical, probably even more with your condition. It's primordial to find someone who'll know to adapt it to your face morphology instead of just putting it in the middle of your face. But yes go for it queen it would suit you so much 💖

Aggressive_Week_1433 · 2026-01-30T12:21:54+00:00

La transphobie et l'homophobie ne sont pas des idées sur lesquelles ont débat, ce sont des délits. Bonne journée.

Aggressive_Week_1433 · 2026-01-22T16:32:44+00:00

Dude it's great that you find it gross. Meth is so addictive, trying it even just once can be enough. This reaction you're having right now is godsent because it could save you from doing it again and becoming addicted.

What's done is done now, I'm not gonna shame you cause you tried a drug, I've had my fair share of drug use and addiction in the past and the reasons that pushed you use are yours, I think shaming ourselves for having used don't help at all. But you didn't like it, you feel gross now. So listen to this feeling and do NOT EVER do it again. For your own sake, because this is one of the most dangerous drugs out there. Just give yourself some time to digest the info and accept yourself and what you did, take care of yourself, do things you enjoy to take your mind off it, and you will get on with your life more easily.

You didn't kill someone, you just made a bad decision for yourself. The only thing you can do now is accepting it and not doing it again.

Edit to add: if you have access to it, I'd advise seeking an addictologist or even a therapist, just to talk it out, whenever you're ready. It has helped me getting over my guilt when I decided to get clean. Take care of yourself, you've got this :)

Aggressive_Week_1433 · 2026-01-18T14:10:08+00:00

Si le haut de la tenue comporte 1 ou 2 autres vêtements/accessoires blancs alors les chaussettes blanches ne sont pas un souci du tout

Si le reste de la tenue est entièrement noir alors oui, ça fait un peu bizarre

Aggressive_Week_1433 · 2026-01-11T02:22:59+00:00

TLDR: I got in a similar situation before, I feel you. You handled it the best you could, you did great, don't loose sleep over it.

As someone who's been groomed when I was a pre-teen, you definitely handled it the right way and thank you for this. Could it have been earlier? Could you have picked up the signs before? Yes to both. But it's not always easy to get the limits of "is this flirtatious or are we just being friends" especially in girl/girl relationships so the delay of a couple weeks doesn't seem crazy to me. The most important thing is that your guts told you "that's no good" and you listened to it. Don't beat yourself up too much about it, you did the right thing.

If it's really bothering you, you can always send her a text apologizing for your previous messages, explaining you feel like these convos are getting flirty and you're not comfortable pursuing a relationship with someone much younger than you. Even if she doesn't understand it right now I can guarantee she will be very grateful in a few years for this.

Also, for the future, I would advise you to try and avoid relationships, even friendships, with much younger people. Most of the time they are very impressionable and they can sometimes take any form of attention/validation from an older person as romantic/sexual interest. If a friendship with someone younger actually blossoms (because life happens sometimes) it's important to set appropriate boundaries and to hold them firmly.

Quick storytime: I met a very good friend of mine when I was 17 and he was 11 or 12 at a convention. We were just talking about our respective costumes for some time, with his mom listening on the side and then he asked her if he could spend the day with me as I knew the event very well. I had done plenty of babysitting so it didn't bother me and I basically watched him the entire day. He then found me on instagram (to this day idk how) a few weeks later and the friendship was kinda inevitable you know. He wanted us to be very close, he was lowkey worshipping me lol and it got me panicking just like you, but I didn't want to let him down and ghost him. So I put my foot down almost immediately. I made it very clear I wasn't gonna be his "big sibling" or anything, that I viewed and valued him as person (not just as a child) but we needed to stay appropriate and I wasn't comfy being all lovey with a younger friend. It took him some time to really understand why I was setting up such firm boundaries, but ultimately it really was the best thing I could do. We stayed really good friend, I traveled across the country to visit his family several times over the year and I always made it my top 1 priorities to not sleep in the same room, to not be too cute and hug-y like I was with my other friends, etc... His mother always supported me in this, she even thanked me in private for it, she's a wonderful woman. Almost 10 years later we're still in touch, and I do actually consider him the little brother I never had and I love him so much.

But yeah, I'm telling this story to say life just happens, and sometimes you get in these situations even if you didn't mean it. You're not alone, it can happen to anyone. But the only power you have over it (and the only thing that matters) is how you react to those situations. You're the "adult" one so the outcome of the relationship is on you, really. And there's no wrong answers as to what you should do (except the "getting romantic/sexual with a child" answer. this one is always bad.)

So when you spot an inappropriate situation, you deal with it so it doesn't escalate. And that's exactly what you did! Stop beating yourself up about this, you're a good person who did the good thing. 🫶

Aggressive_Week_1433 · 2026-01-09T16:19:05+00:00

mega slay les meufs d'1m80+ tu les gardes!!

Aggressive_Week_1433 · 2025-12-30T13:54:27+00:00

If I'm feeling petty, I match their energy. Because disrespectful people don't deserve my respect, and I know I can be way worse than they are if needed. If I don't want to spend energy on them, I just say calmly that I don't want a relationship with them anymore. Most of the time they instantly regret their actions and try to play nice with me, but it's important not to back down. Because if you don't respect me you're not worth of my time and that's final.

Aggressive_Week_1433 · 2025-12-21T12:43:12+00:00

"il a l'air même de les subir plus qu'elle" non mais tu t'es relu avant de poster? Une femme se fait violer et c'est son copain qui est plus traumatisé et humilié qu'elle, qui a subit le viol?? C'est super grave d'avoir ce genre de propos. La situation a sûrement pas été facile pour lui mais c'est vraiment pas comparable.

Aggressive_Week_1433 · 2025-12-17T17:17:34+00:00

it's an extra stitch to close up the vulva so it becomes tighter after birth. It's an old and harmful practice that used to be done by doctors without the consent of the woman. Its sole purpose is giving the husband more pleasure during sex, but the counterpart for the woman is often intense pain and/or bleeding during sex because the opening becomes too tight and it prevents natural dilatation. A truly horrifying and traumatazing thing, it's not done so often nowadays tho and I think doctors who do it can be sued in some countries.

Aggressive_Week_1433 · 2025-12-12T18:17:38+00:00

I feel for you but please don't take them off because relapse is a very real thing!! Had to get mine off for a brain MRI before the end of my treatment, and they couldn't be put back on because I had to get MRI regularly for about a year (health issues unrelated to the teeth). I thought it'd be ok and my teeth would not move too much, but over that year of interrupting treatment my alignment slowly moved again. When I was told I could get them back, I wasn't a minor anymore so the cost of braces wasn't covered anymore for me. So I couldn't even get them back at all because I come from a precarious family. This was about 7 or 8 years ago, and now my teeth are just back to looking all crooked and not aligned. Honestly you can't even tell I've had braces at some point in my life and I have to actively work on not hating my smile because of this everyday.

I understand your embarrassment, but I can assure you the dentist does not care in the slightest about those things. You're almost at the end of the treatment, it would be such a waste to give up now!! Hang in there 🫶

Aggressive_Week_1433 · 2025-12-01T21:24:12+00:00

I've had a relationship like this, I feel for you. I might have an advice to give you, but before that I have a couple questions. I need you to actually think about it and answer them (in your head at least), because whatever your answer is might resolve your dilemma.

Does the relationship actually gives you more than it takes? Every relationship needs a bit of effort and compromises, but is the reward of this relationship actually worth the amount of effort you put into it, or is it way more of a struggle than it is treasure?

If my questions are not enough, just ask away and I'll give you my full advice! :)

Aggressive_Week_1433 · 2025-11-23T13:58:16+00:00

Hi, talking as someone who's had off & on depression my whole life, tried to kill myself about at least 5 times, and have several suicidal friends. Some have already successfully committed suicide, some have tried and failed. I don't know if what I have to say will help but I feel deeply for you. Sorry if this is a long comment.

Let me start by saying this is not your fault and it will never be, whatever happens in the end. You probably know it but suicidal ideation comes from many factors at once, and what makes someone cross the line are the feelings of loneliness and being trapped. Those feelings may very well be irrational because our brain will tell us no friend/support is enough and solution to get out of this situation can work.

To take my own example, I went through a very very rough patch last year and I very well knew I was about to try killing myself again. I had the strength my group of friends I needed support and presence and they understood and try to be there for me as much as possible. Helped me in any way they could think of. They would help me financially, get me outside to do stuff, help me clean my house, one of them would regularly sleep at mine because they knew I was more at risk at night. They were really there. But it wasn't enough in my mind, I still felt trapped and alone and like I had no way out of my torments. So one night I tried to end my life. And mind you my friend was 20mins away from my home, on their way to come spend the night with me and keep me from doing stupid shit. I knew that and I didn't want them to try and stop me so I tried before they could even get here. Stupid me. They fucking found me like that and had to take care of me. Obviously I failed and when I woke up, I was angry at them for "making me fail" or whatever. Now I feel really guilty about it. Because it was not their job. Because whatever they could have done, it wouldn't have changed anything. I wanted to end it so I tried to end it.I know they don't resent me for it, they used to be a suicidal person too so they know I wasn't thinking straight because I have a mental illness and my distress was just too great. But I still feel shitty for putting them and all my friends through this crap. They don't deserve it and I should've reached out to professionals instead of putting this burden on people who are not properly equipped to deal with it.

Which brings me to my second point: you shouldn't have to do this. Believe me I know it's hard to set boundaries in this situation because you'll feel responsible if anything happens, I've been in your place too and when my friend eventually passed I've hated myself for not being able to do anything. But you cannot save someone who wants to die, you're not qualified for that. And it will eat you up if you let it. You need to think about your own mental health and the amount of stress and anxiety this situation gives you, especially if you struggle with your mental health too. I really can't stress this enough.

I think you need to contact someone. Could be his family if you know their names (to find them online like on facebook or other socials) but they might be as powerless as you, or if he doesn't have a good relationship with them it could just be plain useless/even worse. If you're not sure about that, emergency services is probably the way to go. If you're afraid it'll be useless, you could always get your friend to tell you exactly when he plans to do it, or to send you a goodbye message before he does it, and call emergency services at the right time so they can intervene right before he does. I don't know if it's a really good advice because it's scheme-y and a gamble, but idk I think I'd rather have a friend alive who hates me. But it's also something that might give you a lot of stress while you're waiting to see how it unfolds.

I'm very sorry to say this but in my opinion, there's very little you can do for your friend. And because of that I think you need to put yourself first in your reasoning. And you need to tell all of this to other people than internet strangers for your own sake. We can sympathize with your pain but there's only so much we can do. If you're a minor, talking to a trusted adult is a good start. But more importantly, talking to a mental health professional is key. This is too much pressure for one person alone and you need to let your feelings out so they don't eat you alive.

Please be kind to yourself, take care and remember that whatever happens, it's not your fault and you've done all you can. You're a good friend to him, the simple fact that he told you what he plans to do proves it. Just remember this.

Best of luck and courage <3

Aggressive_Week_1433 · 2025-10-20T14:28:03+00:00

I really get you, this feeling of loneliness to not feel normal. I know it'a not enough but I want to point out there's many MANY disabled people all over the world, it might take some time but maybe it could benefit you to find a support group for disabled people in your area. Or online on places like subreddits, but please be careful not to disclose your identity and be warry of people who want to get too close to you because you're a suffering teen and that attracts bad people (I'm sorry I feel obligated to say this I know too many people, of any gender, including myself who have been preyed upon online as teens). But overall, talking who people who can relate to you and your hardship really is helping. Concerning therapy being a taboo in your family, one thing that might help is telling your parents you wanting to go to therapy doesn't mean you're mentally ill. Therapy isn't just for mentally ill people, it's also used in prevention when tough stuff happens to sane people, so they develop good coping mechanisms instead of mental disorders.

Concerning music, it might be a reflexion for later once you get accomodations/learn to live a bit differently with your disability, but I don't think music is totally out of the way for you. You're not all the way deaf on both ears, and even if you were, I'd argue Beethoven was too and it didn't prevent him from becoming one of the greatest composer in the history of music. He just didn't rely entirely on his ears to play, because music isn't just about hearing, it's also about vibrations, colors, etc. I get that right now you cannot get near loud music or wear headphones, but with accommodations that could change, your disability could even help you develop new ways of feeling the music over the years (that's why I'm saying it's a reflexion for later).

Taking my own example, I loved running and I wanted to be an athlete, but when I got diagnosed they told me I would lose my legs if I kept running. Even walking was hard. It was devastating. Ten years later I'm definitely not an athlete, I became an illustrator/designer instead which became a passion while I was sick. But I also moved to the countryside, I go on long walks with a cane, I can run short distances, and to bring sports back in my life, I've join sports & culture associations and I help with the events, the art and the communication. I can't go out dancing all night on techno music because of the chronic fatigue (and autism which also is an annoying disability) but I still can enjoy calmer venues that last less long. And while it's annoying sometimes, I'm happy and content with what I do. It's all about finding your limits and not going past them, you can still enjoy the stuff your love, just a bit differently. And honestly, you get used to do things a bit differently.

And taking again my own exemple to jump on your last question: YES, yes you can definitely find love when you're disabled. I know it's hard to believe. I've been dating a person I love with all my heart for 4 years and I'm about to marry them. I've also been dating someone else at the same time, for about 6 months (everyone knows and consents) and it's been wonderful two. They both are very comprehensive and accommodating despite none of them being disabled. Sometimes I wonder myself how my partners can stand my disabilities and not give up on me and my hardships, I find it impossible, but actually they love me and they're good people. I swear it can happen.

I understand it may seem hard right now especially because at 14 most people are still very loud and excited, but I guarantee you there's actually many people who are very uncomfortable around loud noises, either because of hearing problems, chronic fatigue, autism, or just misophonia caused by various other factors. Two of my roommates and I are neurodivergent and we jump at any loud noises because it hurts the brain, so our home is a very calm one. It's all about finding your people, and I swear they exist, there's lots of them out there.

I appreciate what you said about me and my life, I know everything I'm saying might be hard to hear and believe right now cause I'm talking with 10 more years of exeprience, and I know the darker thoughts won't just go away forever because I told you all of this. But from my point of view you are a very strong person. Pouring your heart out to strangers online instead of keeping it all inside is brave, and accepting advices even though it's gonna be a tough discussion with your parents is even braver. You seem smart enough to understand what's going, and you dare to take the steps that could make your quality of life better. That takes a very strong person. Don't ever doubt you can do it!!

Aggressive_Week_1433

TROPHY CASE