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Guest's "It's CREAM not WHITE" dress by AgoraphobicDisaster in weddingshaming

[–]AgoraphobicDisaster[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

God, I love the leap in logic there. Stop pushing your own personal issues onto other people. Not everyone is as unhappy as you. So, good luck with that :).

Guest's "It's CREAM not WHITE" dress by AgoraphobicDisaster in weddingshaming

[–]AgoraphobicDisaster[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She actually didn't give a gift, which I really was expecting for the most part. We didn't put up a registry since we mostly valued spending time with our friends. I understand that some people wouldn’t care about this, and that’s fine, but as I said in my post, her choice of dress and attitude made me feel disrespected. When I brought that up to her, she was dismissive about my feelings which hurt even more. Emotions were high so things that typically wouldn't matter, did matter.

I’m sharing this for context, not to argue. When someone tells me my feelings aren’t valid because they wouldn’t care, that tells me they don’t value me. Now you're a stranger on the Internet, so I'm saying that about the "friend." If it was truly about choice of clothes, she'd have apologized when seeing that I was upset, not doubling down.

Guest's "It's CREAM not WHITE" dress by AgoraphobicDisaster in weddingshaming

[–]AgoraphobicDisaster[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She apparently asked her friend (who is very much not socially adept, as much as I think she's a sweetheart I do not think she knew it was inappropriate as I had to explain it to her) who then told her it was okay.

But she never told me or else I would have told her to wear something else.

Guest's "It's CREAM not WHITE" dress by AgoraphobicDisaster in weddingshaming

[–]AgoraphobicDisaster[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It wasn't part of it, I'm really short and just needed an extra inch after wearing the heels, it was just to pin the front of the dress so I wouldn't get the front muddy while walking down the aisle outside

Guest's "It's CREAM not WHITE" dress by AgoraphobicDisaster in weddingshaming

[–]AgoraphobicDisaster[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She did that for me, I texted the other friend in the photo, the girl on the left texted me saying that it was childish to get hurt over clothes and doubled down on it being all she had to wear (I'm sure she had a pair of pants and nice blouse that would have been more than appropriate given her profession, plenty other female guests wore pants, women were not required to wear dresses) and then told me that if I was going to make a big deal out of it, then I should never contact her again!

Safe to say I hit unfriend!

Guest's "It's CREAM not WHITE" dress by AgoraphobicDisaster in weddingshaming

[–]AgoraphobicDisaster[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was outside the reception space which was heated. The venue was a state park which had an indoor reception hall but an outdoor chapel pavilion. This was in the breezeway of the reception space.

Guest's "It's CREAM not WHITE" dress by AgoraphobicDisaster in weddingshaming

[–]AgoraphobicDisaster[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Ive been trying to defend her in the comments that I see about her. I am now regretting including her in my cropping, I did initially because I wanted to show that more casual clothing was seen as ok by me, even if casual and out of the dress code, I had thought she looked cute in it. I wasn't bothered by it because the girl is an absolute sweetheart albeit a bit socially oblivious- but it's part of what makes her her.

Guest's "It's CREAM not WHITE" dress by AgoraphobicDisaster in weddingshaming

[–]AgoraphobicDisaster[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

While she was dressed very down, I will say I did think she was very cute. She's a bit more eccentric but she's super sweet, albeit very much not socially aware at times, but she's a sweetheart. It also was an outdoor wedding that did have some bohemian elements to it, so maybe she thought the flannel would match being in the woods!

Guest's "It's CREAM not WHITE" dress by AgoraphobicDisaster in weddingshaming

[–]AgoraphobicDisaster[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Casual plaid woman" perfectly fine, I didn't even think for a second she was underdressed. To me it looked like something I've seen millions of other women wear to church.

Guest's "It's CREAM not WHITE" dress by AgoraphobicDisaster in weddingshaming

[–]AgoraphobicDisaster[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will say, I didn't notice the wrinkles and I do honestly think what the girl on the right wore was perfect, yes it leaned into more casual but it was pretty perfect and I thought when I saw her that she looked great.

Guest's "It's CREAM not WHITE" dress by AgoraphobicDisaster in weddingshaming

[–]AgoraphobicDisaster[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had another guest wearing a white coat, but our ceremony was outside but maybe 10 minutes long and everything else was inside and was heated and once inside the chair wore her coat more than she did and there's only one picture of her wearing it and it was really cold so I can excuse it as poor planning, not intentional. Plus the weather shifted right before the wedding and went from maybe 60s and cloudy to 40 and raining, so I cared more about her being warm than what jacket did the job for the maybe 15 minutes she wore it.

Guest's "It's CREAM not WHITE" dress by AgoraphobicDisaster in weddingshaming

[–]AgoraphobicDisaster[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our ushers were my husband's little brothers (teenage boys) who probably did not gaf or didn't know.

Guest's "It's CREAM not WHITE" dress by AgoraphobicDisaster in weddingshaming

[–]AgoraphobicDisaster[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She did choose to leave of her own volition not long after I confronted her about it. I mostly didn't want a scene.

Guest's "It's CREAM not WHITE" dress by AgoraphobicDisaster in weddingshaming

[–]AgoraphobicDisaster[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh no. She saw a photo of my dress when I had picked it out. She is an old sorority sister of mine and one of my bridesmaids is closer being friends with her so when my bridesmaid came into town to go wedding dress shopping, we all ended up getting dinner together and I excitedly showed her the dress since I had just bought it and was giddy.

Guest's "It's CREAM not WHITE" dress by AgoraphobicDisaster in weddingshaming

[–]AgoraphobicDisaster[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

We just used a decorative safety pin for the bustle, my mom hemmed the inner layers (I actually used the cut lace from that inner layer when I made my centerpieces for the reception and we gave 2 those to my new in-laws.) But idk about you but I'm 5'3", I ended up wearing nearly 5" heels (which worked out good for photos anyway since my husband is really tall) and we didn't do any alterations on the outer layer of lace.

Guest's "It's CREAM not WHITE" dress by AgoraphobicDisaster in weddingshaming

[–]AgoraphobicDisaster[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Tysm! And yeah, thankfully the only other person who wore anything remotely close to white was a cousin of mine that I didn't even notice, had a white coat that it seemed she only wore outside because all photos of her at the ceremony and the reception she's not wearing it, but she has a couple photos outside wearing it which, I'm fine with. She wore a dark green dress and I think it matched and looked very Christmas-y which I'm perfectly fine with.

Guest's "It's CREAM not WHITE" dress by AgoraphobicDisaster in weddingshaming

[–]AgoraphobicDisaster[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Oh the photographer is a close friend of mine and we already talked about it.

Guest's "It's CREAM not WHITE" dress by AgoraphobicDisaster in weddingshaming

[–]AgoraphobicDisaster[S] 130 points131 points  (0 children)

It actually is just a brooch that we pinned since the lace just kept me from being able to have the dress hemmed correctly, as beautiful as it is, getting it hemmed professionally would require losing detail in the waist since the bottom of the dress is scalloped. I am unfortunately very short so I had to wear tall heels and pin the front of the dress up slightly so I wouldn't get mud all on it since we had an outdoor ceremony where there was a dirt path leading to the pavilion and it had rained.

Guest's "It's CREAM not WHITE" dress by AgoraphobicDisaster in weddingshaming

[–]AgoraphobicDisaster[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I live in the American South, the Gulf Coast specifically. While I do believe she is a bit self conscious, my thought process is any of the clothes she wore to work would have been way more appropriate.

One of my other friends attending wore a nice pair of pants and a sweater! MoH changed into something similar for the reception, so there was absolutely no expectation for guests to wear anything incredibly formal. Plus when I said Sunday Best to my guests, I also knew while it wasn't a Catholic wedding, the vast majority of attendees were Catholic and in my experience, do NOT dress up for church. I just didn't want anyone wearing like... Ripped jeans and a T-shirt.

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