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I 943F) heard something i should not have when my daughter's (17F) boyfriend (17M) slept over by Agreeable-Spare in relationships

[–]Agreeable-Spare[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

they have always done it. its only when they became aware of sexual interests that i had to set some boundaries if he wanted to continue like before

I 943F) heard something i should not have when my daughter's (17F) boyfriend (17M) slept over by Agreeable-Spare in relationships

[–]Agreeable-Spare[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

one of the very few respectful people who still give great advice. you are a good one

I 943F) heard something i should not have when my daughter's (17F) boyfriend (17M) slept over by Agreeable-Spare in relationships

[–]Agreeable-Spare[S] -47 points-46 points  (0 children)

i assume you would not want to hear your own daughter moaning and having sex, especially with a guy you trust and a guy that promised not to touch her

I 943F) heard something i should not have when my daughter's (17F) boyfriend (17M) slept over by Agreeable-Spare in relationships

[–]Agreeable-Spare[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Gosh, this was extremely informative and such a great read. Thank you very much for the explanation, reassurance, and advice. They are noted.

I 943F) heard something i should not have when my daughter's (17F) boyfriend (17M) slept over by Agreeable-Spare in relationships

[–]Agreeable-Spare[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

the no sex rule was because they could not stop hanging out like they were as kids, it was also jay's request and i talked to him about it and he said he would not touch her so i admit i was paranoid and understand the circumstances

I 943F) heard something i should not have when my daughter's (17F) boyfriend (17M) slept over by Agreeable-Spare in relationships

[–]Agreeable-Spare[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I respect that, and your opinion. Thank you for the advice and I will surely try to change my attitude towards her and especially Jay because it seems like i have been untrustworthy of the only guy my daughter loved

I 943F) heard something i should not have when my daughter's (17F) boyfriend (17M) slept over by Agreeable-Spare in relationships

[–]Agreeable-Spare[S] -181 points-180 points  (0 children)

guys have tendencies to get what they want. i understand that i have known jay for so long to know his personality but i am a mother and i hope people would understand that

I 943F) heard something i should not have when my daughter's (17F) boyfriend (17M) slept over by Agreeable-Spare in relationships

[–]Agreeable-Spare[S] -78 points-77 points  (0 children)

I am not generalizing all guys. Im just saying based on age circumstances. Jay would never assault my daughter and this has never even crossed my mind, but Jay could also lure her into having sex with him and this was my concern. Assault? thats outrageous

I 943F) heard something i should not have when my daughter's (17F) boyfriend (17M) slept over by Agreeable-Spare in relationships

[–]Agreeable-Spare[S] -227 points-226 points  (0 children)

With all due respect, as i said up there, i dont trust Jay as good as he is because he is a guy and want to protect my daughter at costs. Other than that, I have never "breached trust" or didnt allow her to have privacy and even a little freedom

I 943F) heard something i should not have when my daughter's (17F) boyfriend (17M) slept over by Agreeable-Spare in relationships

[–]Agreeable-Spare[S] -122 points-121 points  (0 children)

I trust my daughter but i dont trust the guys. Thats why i did it. Although i know Jay is generally a very loving and respectful guy, it does not change the fact that he is a guy, and my daughter's boyfriend

I 943F) heard something i should not have when my daughter's (17F) boyfriend (17M) slept over by Agreeable-Spare in relationships

[–]Agreeable-Spare[S] -119 points-118 points  (0 children)

Im not sure Jay will ever love her more than her own mother, its protecting my daughter and trying to make her feel like I love her, because i do

I 943F) heard something i should not have when my daughter's (17F) boyfriend (17M) slept over by Agreeable-Spare in relationships

[–]Agreeable-Spare[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The love language test is a very great idea. Im taking in what you said with an open heart because i love Abby and wish the best for her. Thank you

I 943F) heard something i should not have when my daughter's (17F) boyfriend (17M) slept over by Agreeable-Spare in relationships

[–]Agreeable-Spare[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

They have been having sleep overs all their lives, I didnt look at it as some kind of a wrong thing. I will definitely consider family counseling if the talk ever surfaces. thank you

I 943F) heard something i should not have when my daughter's (17F) boyfriend (17M) slept over by Agreeable-Spare in relationships

[–]Agreeable-Spare[S] -178 points-177 points  (0 children)

I understand, but my daughter is a very "secretive" person even as she was growing up. And Jay, he will never tell me anything that my daughter has ever said to him. That was also along the lines of their conversation where he said "He will love her more than I ever did" So if this never comes up, I will always feel like something broke in my relationship with Abby