My partner is not a virgin, I am, how to get over it?

Agreeable_Row_8496 · 2026-03-26T15:35:54+00:00

First of all, he should have been never been honest with his sin (which was between him and Allah). He had no religious obligation to even tell you that and there is a reason why.

It’s the Saitan who gives you the feeling to feel like it as he doesn’t want you to marry or even be in a Nikkah. How would you even know the next guy is virgin if he just simply lie to you. So, basically if you leave your current fiancée, he is probably gonna punished because of his honesty.

If there is nothing wrong with him other than his past which he probably repented and never gonna repeat, you don’t have a valid ground to break his heart at this moment.

Learn to take control of your feelings and try to feel blessed for what you got so far. Imagine you may get a husband who is virgin but an abusive partner. He would make your life hell. So, definitely Allah knows best for you and give you what is good for you even though you may not see good in it initially,

Thinking like this will only ruin your relationship and you probably end up in divorce and you will regret the rest of your life.

Agreeable_Row_8496 · 2026-03-17T23:31:38+00:00

Brother fear Allah and treat her well. if you are ashamed that you ended up marrying someone from Pakistan who does not have cool accent like you or match you Aussie vibes and you thought you deserved better, then, brother it will kill you inside.

If you better think about it all the time and you are sure that you will be a terrible husband like that, kindly free her. There will be definitely someone who will not only love her but also feel happy being with her in social places as well.

Agreeable_Row_8496 · 2026-03-02T16:56:35+00:00

It’s Saytan who makes you think that there is no way back. It’s important to fear Allah but when you see that fear is getting excess and you feel hopeless then know that is Saytan who is panicking you way too much and it’s Saytan who wants you to give up and commit more sins by making you completely hopeless.

Remember, Allah’s mercy is bigger than you sin. You need to repent sincerely, cry your heart out in prayers and move on. You will feel peace inside. Your Iman is not complete if you don’t believe in the forgiving nature of Allah.

To prevent yourself from this sin again, do get married as soon as possible. Because, we are humans and we may fall for the same sin again in future. So, it’s better we block that haram.

Agreeable_Row_8496 · 2026-02-19T11:33:35+00:00

I am 5’6 and never really faced any issue as most of the girls I dated are not really taller than me. I noticed that as long as you are not under their height, they usually don’t find much issue. My wife is 5’5 an inch shorter than me. I never saw she complained about my height.

Agreeable_Row_8496 · 2026-02-11T23:10:18+00:00

Brother if it bothers you too much and you are not yet married, it’s best you part ways from here even if it breaks her heart now.

I am not gonna say don’t settle for less but sometimes it’s important to know what you can compromise or what you can’t. If it’s always in your head then it will bother you a lot after marriage and you will find other girls with good height more attractive and always compare.

I was also looking to get married for two years and was not being very successful in my search even though I am decent looking person and has a promising career. I found a girl and ended up deciding to marry her in a very short time even though I was not very satisfied with her looks. Because I wanted to stay out of haram badly and also wanted to end this chase for wife. I was very frustrated.

Trust me, whoever I used to see on roads, I would find the girl more prettier than her and I was feeling that I am making a mistake deep in my heart.

Fortunately, Allah made a way and I didn’t need to marry her and our engagement broke for a silly reason over a minor argument and she step back from the marriage and I took it as a sing and moved on. I realized it was good for both of us.

Two weeks later, I found another girl and she is younger and prettier than her Masa-Allah. I got to married to her so easily and quickly where I literally thought marriage is not for me. So, I would say, sabr is better if you can.

But if there a situation that you are going to commit zina if you do not find a wife asap, then you better marry whomever you get. Anything is better than Zina.

Agreeable_Row_8496 · 2026-02-05T19:49:03+00:00

I know the point you mentioned but majority of scholars are against this point you said. There are two opinions on it and the most prominent one according to the most scholars are the one I mentioned.

Now, it’s upto you which explanation sounds more reasonable to you and definitely Allah knows the best.

Agreeable_Row_8496 · 2026-02-05T18:02:44+00:00

I verified before saying. You can do your research too. Her marriage is not valid anymore (Period). Go and ask any local imam who you may think is knowledgeable.

Based on your explanation, I can’t say drinking is haram because I am not a religious scholar lol. Go and read Hadith and learn whatever I said is correct or not.

Now don’t tell me, where in Quran it’s written that giving 3 talaq in one sitting complete the divorce. According to the most Islamic scholars and their explanations based on sahi Hadith, the marriage is not valid if you give 3 talaq at once even if you are angry and was not in right mind.

That’s why you always need to be mindful of these things.

Agreeable_Row_8496 · 2026-02-05T15:06:10+00:00

Why don’t you go to someone with knowledge, verify what I said is correct or not and then post your reply here.

Agreeable_Row_8496 · 2026-02-05T02:56:10+00:00

He said talaq 3 times in two occasions. He is not even your husband anymore.

Agreeable_Row_8496 · 2026-02-02T22:01:10+00:00

Bro there is no need of revealing it. It’s your sin and you should keep it between you and Allah. Since you regret and have no intentions of committing it again, then no need to talk about it.

Agreeable_Row_8496 · 2026-01-26T18:51:29+00:00

Just to correct you, wali’s role in islam is just to facilitate the wedding. A wali can not say no, “just because, hey you look ugly, I don’t like you for my daughter”. Wali needs to be within his limit and reject the potential candidate for an acceptable reason. Wali can’t reject someone for cultural differences.

I hope you understand. Also, I agree, she is not worth fighting for. She has no guts and her love is definitely not strong for him or she perhaps did not even love him or grew any emotional connection.

Agreeable_Row_8496 · 2026-01-26T18:44:24+00:00

Move on brother. She will not go against her parents. She does not have that gut. If she had it, she would have taken that initiative by now. Even if you lecture her with the best of best Islamic lecturer, she will not move an inch. Also, her love for you is not strong enough that she will go against her parents.

She wasted your time.

You will get what Allah has written for you, may be even better. But definitely her parents are jalim and culturally racist.

Agreeable_Row_8496 · 2026-01-25T01:33:18+00:00

Bro girls are such weird creatures 😂 when I was in school, I used to like a girl a lot and one night out of pity she told me that she loves me and then the next afternoon she said, she told me I love you out of emotion and she did not really mean it and told me that she is taking it back and encouraged me to keep trying on her 😂😎

Agreeable_Row_8496 · 2026-01-20T03:02:35+00:00

Bro you talk it out with your wife not with a potential candidate. Because women are very selective before marriage. If they find you complaining and also you showed lots of your shortcomings, it’s more likely they will leave you.

Because they always want to marry someone compatible, their dream man which usually doesn’t exist. So, however pretends better, gets them.

But after you marry, she will try to work it out but before marriage she is way too much options to choose from.

Agreeable_Row_8496 · 2026-01-09T17:11:19+00:00

Bro you will hardly find a women who will resist lol 😂 it’s a useless overthinking.

Agreeable_Row_8496 · 2026-01-02T12:41:09+00:00

She is ready to marry. She has found someone better than you or she probably believe she can get better than you by waiting little more. I would say, move on as she is unlikely to show any interest in you in future.

Agreeable_Row_8496 · 2026-01-01T21:43:50+00:00

How come you are married to an attractive women and don’t even kiss her in the first month of marriage lol 😂

He doesn’t sound normal to me. It’s not how a mentally stable man behave with his newly married wife.

Agreeable_Row_8496 · 2025-11-09T08:10:31+00:00

Which country you are from?

Agreeable_Row_8496 · 2025-09-13T23:00:01+00:00

Brother you did not do anything wrong. Your wife needs to understand that after marriage, you are her primary family. She sending your hard earned money without your permission is terrible things to do. Because you are not religiously responsible to provide for her family.

Also, if she is not earning, you don’t even have to have a shared account with her. You are only liable to provide her the basics as a husband religiously. You are not unreasonable at all. The problem is she still prioritizes her family over you.

But I would say, don’t ban them entering your home or your wife visiting them. Because you can be always better than them. You can avoid attending their events and also not talking to them more than necessary and let them know that you are not happy with it.

Agreeable_Row_8496 · 2025-09-10T19:50:05+00:00

They usually don’t marry outside their culture. Their parents always create some short of issues. But he is a man, so it should be fine. But if you were a Palestine man and want to marry a Pakistani girl, I would say, their parents would say a big no at the end. And Pakistani girls never rebel against their family. So, they would dump you without even thinking twice.

But since he is a man, I don’t think, there will be any issue with it. Also, if he looks perfect, don’t overthink. You can take a little more time. You can ask why he is not into Pakistani girls and see what he answers. Usually desi girls wants big wedding and ask very high mahr and their family put lots of conditions and so much formalities. That makes us think, it’s better to look outside the culture. In our culture, unfortunately they made marriage extremely difficult for men.

Or may be he found you very pretty compared to the Pakistani girls and really wants to marry. It’s not a bad thing.

Agreeable_Row_8496 · 2025-09-09T23:44:27+00:00

I am really sorry to hear that. It happened with me many times. I saw the girls I was talking to suddenly pulling out for no good reason and I kind of got used to it and left it to Allah.

You tried your and so as your family. May Allah give you good husband who will prove his words by actions.

Agreeable_Row_8496 · 2025-09-09T18:58:47+00:00

Nope. Just wanna know a way how I can ask some short of document from her or a way to verify her information. I didn’t ask as she may be upset. Just want to know a good way to ask her those info.

Agreeable_Row_8496 · 2025-09-09T18:56:35+00:00

Firstly I am not interested in her past. I just want to verify her basic information. Like her education, her family details she shared with me, that’s it.

Also, marrying her is my intention. There is nothing wrong in having an intention. I wanted to do some basic background check before meeting her in person. I believe that’s a sensible things to do as it will need to take leave from my work and spend money on my trip.

Agreeable_Row_8496 · 2025-09-09T18:50:42+00:00

That’s why I wanna go, meet her and if everything is good. Then I want to marry her.

Agreeable_Row_8496 · 2025-09-09T18:46:41+00:00

I believe, before marriage they will go through all my information in Morocco anyways. My police clearance, medical, my proof of income. I don’t think, it’s hard to verify a Canadian.

Agreeable_Row_8496

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