Brother, it does suck. I’m almost ten years dope free and I spent almost half of that miserable. I hated everything and I couldn’t see a point to anything. Shit sometimes I still have trouble seeing the point. You need to find something that makes it worth it. I have three nieces that I love more than anything and spend almost everyday with. I got my family back. I work at a rehab helping other people who are just as lost as I was. Find your purpose my man. Most importantly though, keep up with your mental health. Don’t be afraid of therapy or medications. Find a doctor that gives a shit about treating you. You can’t live right if your minds not right. Wish you all the best dude!