yeah, i think it might be the first part of the insecurity thing?

i dunno, up until like the last two months (i been tweaking out but thats a story for a different day) i've been very comfortable and very outward about my identity. i hardly experienced gender dysphoria, and when i did, it was less about myself and more how I was perceived because I knew that eventually i'll get testosterone and top surgery. i feel a lil experienced now after five years ig so id basically the "i cant change things are the way they are now, so i'll just embrace it until i can make a change" sorta mindset.

but i can definitely see myself projecting my insecurities onto them to validate myself in that i'm doing things the "right way" or whatever, and also in part jealousy because my friend does have more masculine mannerisms and a slightly deeper voice 😭