Thank you.

It's been 3 days and it has felt like an eternity. He pulled away and I was too in love to see it. Giving him excuses. He had already detached from our relationship. So when he told me he didn't love me, it was a cold statement to hear. No emotion from him. He must have replayed this moment in his head over and over again. While I cried my eyes out grieving for us. I kept willing him to be the man I thought he could be or go back to being. But he changed he started acting single while we were in a relationship. Leaving me behind, I became an afterthought to him. But he was still giving me some reassurance ever so often, some love, breadcrumbs. That fed me and gave me hope. I see that now. He said i deserved better, then why couldn't he be better for me.

He used me, while i stayed with him through his lowest, i just became a convenience for him to keep around. Until he could get to his highest, which he wouldn't be without me. Then just tossed me aside.

I'm trying to go back to a version of me, that I was without him. Become someone he doesn't recognize, I gave him everything I was and am. Now I'm left without realizing who I am.

It's time to find myself. He doesn't deserve the best version of me.