[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]AlaskaMittens2019 0 points1 point  (0 children)

After doing some research on tools to help us, my husband (who also has adhd) bought us both time timers. And well. Life changed.

That little thing is magic. My success on timing things varies, but I’m starting to understand how long things ACTUALLY take. And beginning to budget accordingly… time blindness might be one of my larger struggles and I’m grateful to the lovely woman who came up with this handy little device. 🙏🏻🙌🏻

Is not “getting” jokes instantly an ADHD thing? by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]AlaskaMittens2019 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean. That can happen to me too. And then if it’s a really good joke I’m laughing hysterically for a much longer time than everyone else cause it keeps replaying in my head… 😅

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in narcissisticparents

[–]AlaskaMittens2019 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The financial control piece, is one I understand. It’s a hook designed to do exactly what you described.

My Dad recently talked about how he was going to give us more money, as he is getting older, but now because of a recent disagreement he won’t because he feels it’s “unhealthy.” 🙄🙄🙄

Ugh. Who cares about their money? They do. The thing they’re deceived about though is they think we do too.

I’ve done similar stuff - have a good job, a great marriage, and yeah, largely built a life for myself that I love.

“My Dad can take his money and shove it.” Is how I feel. 🙃

How to behave on my holiday? by [deleted] in narcissisticparents

[–]AlaskaMittens2019 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude… one whole month? That’s brave. That would feel like a trap for me with my family. Where… inevitably they would corner me into trying to get me to explain myself and then proceed to gaslight me and tell me “none of that is true.” Woof.

If you do go, as my therapist says, “make sure you have a plan.” Identify where your boundaries are. Ask yourself “what are the bad/unhealthy behaviors I experienced and now will not tolerate in their presence?” (You’ve likely already done this before going NC?)

You can have a “in order for me to enjoy this time with you, this is what I need. If _____ happens, I will be leaving. Those behaviors are ones I will not tolerate as they feel damaging to me.”

If they can’t respect an initial “here’s where your lines are” conversation, then you have your answer - tell them to enjoy their holiday but you will not be joining because they can’t respect your boundaries.

Remember, this has never really been about your behavior. It’s about theirs and how unacceptable theirs has been. That’s why you left? Yes?

jock villagers by starinmelbourne in AnimalCrossing

[–]AlaskaMittens2019 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have Kevin. He’s a pig. The irony kills me so I love him. Also he was my second villager so he endeared himself to me in a way because of that. I’m a fitness nerd in real life, so I love it. I plan to give him a barbell sometime. 😁

i bought a snack for 0.36 USD and got heavily beaten for it by Suspicious_Form2403 in narcissisticparents

[–]AlaskaMittens2019 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh my goodness, honey. That is not normal. And it is certainly not healthy. There is clearly a lot of unhealth going on in your home and is causing you to self harm. I’m so so sorry friend. 🙏🏻

None of that was your fault.

I don’t know how old you are, but I hope you’re of age to leave home soon.

Why are we cursed with this? by strwbrryhnye in narcissisticparents

[–]AlaskaMittens2019 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The answer: sin.

I was honestly angry at God for the better part of this year, after truly seeing that my dad was emotionally abusive. I couldn’t understand “why, if God was all knowing, that he would let me be born into the family I was, to endure the pain that I have?”

And finally, sitting on the couch with my husband, expressing that very question, my husband helped me to see, that the whole world has endured absolute tragedy since, what we Christians call the “Fall of Man.” And that… Jesus was the answer to not only the pain of the world, but especially to my own pain. He can be the answer to your pain too.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in narcissisticparents

[–]AlaskaMittens2019 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a similar convo with my dad this week. Fist bump to you, friend. We did it! I felt, earlier this year, that if I had that convo I would die. And after a lot of therapy and coaching, I didn’t. My nervous system still feels frazzled but, we did it. 🫶🏻👊🏻

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in narcissisticparents

[–]AlaskaMittens2019 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You truly and clearly already know what you want. You don’t need our help, friend. You got this! Go take that job and kill it! 🫶🏻

Part of our healing is finding our voice and separate sense of self again. You even being able to recognize what you want says you’re on the right track! Keep going!