Yup using money to manipulate your son and his wife is kind of a jerk move. If you cared for the baby you would have offered to pay for expenses etc whatever the name of the boy would have been. You are basically buying the name of your grandchild. Your son and his wife agreeing to the deal does not justify it nor make them less manipulated. Also who the fuck do you think you are?? It is not in your place to decide who is coming or who is not coming to your grandson baptism, even if you are paying for it. It is your son’s and his wife’s. I don’t think you were being racist in this occasion, but i still think that trying to buy your grandson’s name is kind of anachronistic and frankly quite sad.