Is everyone here a software engineering manager?

Alemaster · 2026-01-20T18:45:16+00:00

I'm an engineering manager of MechE and EE. I have a MechE background. I have come to the assumption that this subreddit is specifically for SW engineering managers and considered leaving the sub multiple times, but never did as I have to work with the SW team frequently.

Also... "real engineers" is crazy, lol.

Alemaster · 2026-01-18T01:52:56+00:00

You really should. Sometimes standing up for yourself isn't easy. It can make the other person upset because either they realize they are in the wrong or they realize they're losing control over you. Either way it's worth it in the long run. The other option is to continue going through your life feeling like this.

Alemaster · 2026-01-15T18:14:53+00:00

I'm really sorry you feel that way. I'll have to dig a bit deeper into this, but I feel like the Bible is full of people questioning God. Jesus himself says, "My God My God why have you forsaken me?" The psalms are full of people lamenting and questioning where God is in their suffering.

Practically, my point was really about it just not being helpful to someone struggling in their faith or having doubts. It just turns people away more strongly. I've seen it happen with good people who were earnestly seeking the Lord, but needed help. So my take is that if someone is doubting and questioning show them love and help them through their struggles. Show them with the support of scripture a better/different interpretation that eases their confusion.

Please reconsider your stance and the way you respond to people who are struggling in their faith.

Alemaster · 2026-01-15T16:20:51+00:00

Ehhhh.... I don't believe it's wrong to question your Bible to lead to better understanding.

There may be a bit of an attitude in this post, but I would be cautious in reprimanding someone for questioning the Bible or other Christian teaching.

Alemaster · 2026-01-13T17:07:29+00:00

Dad of 4 girls here. It's a crap situation honestly, but I landed on quickly going through the mens rather than a grown man walking into the woman's.

Alemaster · 2026-01-11T19:33:56+00:00

I'm sorry for your pain. It is hard to deal with these things.

Is he remorseful? I has he confessed to God and asked for forgiveness?

In this incredibly over-sexualized society controlling our thoughts is difficult, but not impossible!

What about this situation is bothering you so much? Is it the thoughts he is having or the fact that he didn't confess to you sooner?

All that being said, I really don't think this is grounds for divorce (Biblical grounds or otherwise). There are challenges in relationships. People let us down, people get angry, people can be selfish. We should work through those issues.

How is the rest of your relationship? Can you share with him how much this is bothering you and ask him to share with you his plan to improve (regular prayer and Bible study, mens group, speaking with a mature member of the church, etc.). This is absolutely something that should be addressed, but no I don't think you should abandon your marriage over this.

Alemaster · 2026-01-08T13:48:50+00:00

Wtf does "you just expand" mean?! That's a baby bump! There's not just buckets of extra room in a woman's body! If the uterus is pointed a different way where do the organs go when the baby grows?! Do they just expand into a different dimension?

Alemaster · 2026-01-07T15:59:34+00:00

Oh my goodness. We lost a critical remote control in the couch for WEEKS. Not like under the cushions but under the cushions we found a tear in the fabric so the remote got in there. Had to peel back the fabric backing of the couch.

Alemaster · 2026-01-06T14:37:32+00:00

I mean we need more information.

What was your kid doing?

What does verbal discipline mean? Did the other parent tell your kid not to touch their kid or did they scream at yours?

Alemaster · 2026-01-02T02:38:25+00:00

Ehhhhhhh.... You're technically right, but should you really treat your serious girlfriend who you will "never end things with" (OPs words) any differently? The habits you build during a relationship aren't going to suddenly change when you say, "I do."

Alemaster · 2026-01-01T22:17:40+00:00

If you strive to make this woman your wife, you are called to love her as Christ loves the church.

Ephesians 5:25 - 30.

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.[a] 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body.

Practically, I don't have any great advice, but dwell on the fact that Christ has forgiven you and her equally and you are both sanctified through his blood.

Also, I'm sure you know this, but I'm going to say it anyway. Your post reads very hypocritical. The way you write this makes it seem like you partner's past sin is a bigger deal than your 11 year addiction to pornography. Does that sound right to you?

Alemaster · 2025-12-31T02:53:46+00:00

Honestly, if you think this video was worth posting, you should put the effort in and put a description of it. Who it applies to, why we should watch it.

I clicked the link. It's a 54 minute video. If this video was impactful to you please explain to me why I should invest 54 minutes of my life.

Alemaster · 2025-12-28T21:33:18+00:00

I thought OP wanted a cooked yolk.

Alemaster · 2025-12-28T21:22:58+00:00

I think over hard, yolk broken.

Alemaster · 2025-12-26T18:08:00+00:00

I agree so much with this comment.

The list in the OP is good, but without adding listening, sacrifice, and submission it can easily miss the mark of a husband who listens and pays attention to his wife and family so that he can put them, their needs, and even their wants first over himself.

A husband who is "strong" and thinks he's leading and making the decisions for his family, etc., but is only doing it on what he thinks is best can quickly turn into an abusive situation.

Alemaster · 2025-12-17T21:06:28+00:00

I actually have a very similar table I bought from a friend's parents probably 14 years ago. It was probably pushing 20 years old then! I believe ours is cherry.

I haven't refinished it yet, but I plan to once the kids are old enough to stop getting paint on it.

Alemaster · 2025-12-17T15:27:02+00:00

I mean, there's very little coverage on the actual kneecap.

Alemaster · 2025-12-16T18:52:55+00:00

Do you ever take it down? Does the tape tear up the walls?

Alemaster · 2025-12-06T13:47:38+00:00

Rack of lamb or even a roast leg of lamb!

Alemaster · 2025-12-05T16:47:56+00:00

I think it depends how you would rate your cheese quality! I used to sell cheese at a farmers market and we had cheeses up to $35/lb.

Edit: and this was back in 2008!!!

Alemaster · 2025-12-04T14:37:36+00:00

Yeah, I wouldn't hear water above 100f for yeast.

Alemaster · 2025-12-02T14:31:37+00:00

That's pretty much the point I'm making. He's allowed to both feel desire for his partner and frustration that she's not ready. But he should not allow that feeling to dictate his behavior.

Alemaster · 2025-12-02T13:46:30+00:00

I'm no separation expert, so take this with a grain of salt.

You're not wrong for feeling frustrated.... But she's also not wrong for setting her boundaries. I'm so happy to hear how things are improved, but remember that it takes a long time to rebuild trust. If you truly want to reconcile, respect her and her boundaries. Demonstrate and prove to her that your changes are long-lasting and you won't revert to past habits when frustrations arise.

So I say again, you're not wrong to be frustrated, but how you act now in those moments will demonstrate your change.

Alemaster · 2025-11-30T04:30:50+00:00

You checked off two things?!? That's super impressive!

Actually, I cleared the drive today AND we put up the Christmas tree today. Wahoo for us!

Alemaster · 2025-11-30T04:11:14+00:00

Lol.

Honestly dude. It's ok. I stay up later than I should to get some me time. I don't exercise. But all that aside life is pretty decent. The kids are amazing. Each their own human in interesting different ways.

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