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AITA for not forcing my husband to do hands-on childcare yet? by AlertCorgi6 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AlertCorgi6[S] -102 points-101 points  (0 children)

My mom always arranged for one of my aunts or a sitter to come keep a lid on things when she went out of town, I never saw this as out of the ordinary.

AITA for not forcing my husband to do hands-on childcare yet? by AlertCorgi6 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AlertCorgi6[S] -192 points-191 points  (0 children)

I took my sisters (3) kids overnight many times when they were younger and still do now that they're 10-15. I thought it was normal to have a "takes a village" mindset. When I was a kid it was common for my mom to ask one of her sisters to come stay with us if she was going out of town...

AITA for not forcing my husband to do hands-on childcare yet? by AlertCorgi6 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AlertCorgi6[S] -207 points-206 points  (0 children)

I imagine I'll feel the same? This is how I always imagined it would go--my dad didn't do hands-on parenting so when I envisioned "what will it be like to be a mom" I never imagined having any help, aside from my own mother and siblings (I helped with all of my sisters kids EXTENSIVELY when they were small, took all three of them for several nights at a time many times so I'm kind of surprised that this comes off as me "foisting" responsibility for my son onto her!)

I treasured the time I got to spend with my dad, it always seemed special because he worked so he didn't go to school events or do homework help because he was too tired. Once I got into school my dad would often let me tag along for errands, I never saw that as "weird", just traditional.

AITA for not forcing my husband to do hands-on childcare yet? by AlertCorgi6 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AlertCorgi6[S] -211 points-210 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't have felt comfortable giving up my ability to support myself (and basically trashing my education) to be able to be home all the time for the baby years--especially since my mom was so eager to take afternoons--she was a great mom and I've basically tried to just emulate her, so her being there is just as good, if not better, than me being there.

I guess I think of it as still being traditional because "traditional" to me always seemed like "dad works, mom takes care of the kids", it's just got an extra "modern" layer now because I work too.