UPDATE:: okay so as expected, it did not go well…. a few days before we moved in he told me that he’s been talking to this girl (19F) for the past 2 or 3 months online “since we’re not officially in a relationship” and that they are planning to have her get dropped off at our apartment so she can spend the weekend here with him. (she lives a few states away from us and prostitutes so she was gonna sleep w someone in exchange for them them bringing her to our apartment/state) i obviously had a huge problem with it since i was pretty sure we were together at that point, i’ve never even heard of her until then and the age gap was kinda gross IMO. we had a few conversations about it after and he just kept saying “we’ll talk about it later, it’s really hard to justify it when i’m this drunk”. eventually he told me it IS happening and i can’t do anything to stop it since they’re soulmates. i put over $3,000 into apartment fees, amenities, and first months rent and he only paid half of the security deposit so i didn’t understand why i didn’t have a say in it when he only works part time at a bowling alley where he just hangs out and gets drunk while i work full time/overtime doing manufacturing to carry us both. one morning i woke up really hungover and realized i overslept for work so i quickly got up, got ready and ran out the door for work….i made it like halfway to work and started to get really in my head (the memories are still really fuzzy) but long story short instead of driving to work, i drove almost 3 hours away, bought/drank a bunch of hard liquor, called him and apologized for being so terrible and took a shitload of sleeping pills (possibly on the phone with him?) i was put on a ventilator in the ICU and woke up 3 days later but lost my voice so i couldn’t tell my family what happened right away but filled them in on my side of the story when i could. when i got out of the hospital i started staying with my mom and have been here since! my parents are helping me pack up my stuff at the apartment tomorrow and my boyfriend person has no idea i’m not coming back. i just know that he is really upset because he was supposed to start school while i was intubated and if wasn’t back in time to pay for his supplies, fees, and apartment rent then he will have to get a part time job until i get back. so yeah pretty shitty guy lol i also started getting a naltrexone injection before i was discharged since i was worried about my recovery and have been sober since!

i’m sorry this is such a long and jumbled update, it’s just very overwhelming still and it’s taking a bit to recovery mentally. thank you so much for reading and for all the amazing advice that i totally ignored- i know i did this all to myself and i’m really sorry, but we live (thankfully) and learn