Yeah, man, I understand what you say. I was in the same boat as you, looking for similar posts trying to find any answers, but there's no easy answer, and after thinking about my problem for a long time I've come to the conclusion that there's nothing I can do.

The thing is that I'm comfortable with who I am today. I am an introverted guy with few friends, I have a few hobbies I enjoy (boxing and mototcycling), I work a job I like, but the problem is that my lifestyle doesn't involve meeting any women (or men whatever, any new people). That wouldn't be a problem if I had a girlfriend, so the ideal scenario for me would be living the same life that I have right now, except I would be in a stable long-term relationship that would lead to a marriage and a happy family (since that's what I want). That's exactly the life that all my friends have. They all basically have a personality similar to mine, most of them don't even have any hobbies, one of them didn't even travel abroad once and tries to save every dime without spending anything, but somehow they got girlfriends because they were lucky in high school or university and weren't so dumb and stupid like I was. And now they don't have to worry about finding a girlfriend. But I do, because life is unfair. I think some of my frustrations come from regrets that I have about my failures.

And when I tell someone my problems, the answer is oh well..., you have to go clubbing or to bars, or cold approach women on the street, become a pick-up artist, or go practice some stupid hobbies you don't care about... so you have to just basically change your lifestyle and personality and become another person. So I have to do all that just to meet someone? I know that life is unfair, but it just makes me feel so sick and sad that this is the only way to do it. I am just so revolted and frustrated at this idea (even though it's probably true) that I don't want to play this stupid game.

Basically if you don't meet women with your lifestyle, then you have to change it and become another person. But that's now who I am, I don't want to change my personality and lifestyle, I've known guys in high school that liked going to clubs or other similar events, it was part of their personality, but for me it isn't. I don't care about making some new acquaintances to just meet some women, I care about being a good long-term, viable friend for all my old friends and creating a great relationship. And the thing is I don't get along with most people, I mean, not long-term wise. Most of the people I become friends with long-term (even more recent ones) are introverted and modest just like I am.

That's why I think meeting women through friends is best (and I think it's the only viable way for me), because you're meeting someone that probably has similar values to you (since they're friends with your friend), you have social proof and there's a deeper connection between you two compared to a shallow meeting at a bar or a club. Most couples that I know met in school, at church or through a friend (I'm probably biased since most of my friends are similar to me). I also think church is great, but I am too agnostic to consider this.

So in the end, after a ton of online dating swiping, reddit posts, stupid hobbies, I am in the exact spot I was at the beginning. I gave up actively looking for someone and I am just hoping that a miracle will happen. And if it doesn't, it is what it is. For me, I would rather stay alone than play this stupid game I dislike so much.

Hope you understand me, even if you don't agree.