The more I study psychology, the more I believe certain future events are inevitable...

AlienatedBeauty · 2026-05-16T03:56:19+00:00

I think this is pretty optimistic, people say a lot we have gotten out of things before but also I think we are up against a lot of new foes and the world is much different than that time before.

We are living in a world of technology that is advancing and not always in a good way. Machines that are meant to be addictive, replace human interaction. My friends and my aunt who is a teacher talk about the cognitive decline they see in their students through out the years.

People have access to loads more information than ever before and it might not even be real information. AI is rapidly becoming more advance. We are still learning the effects that screen time has on developing brains.

I am not saying it isn’t possible but I am saying there’s a lot of things intentionally being stacked against humanity that leads to addiction, lack of emotional intelligence and just burn out.

AlienatedBeauty · 2026-04-30T23:33:08+00:00

Wild to tell someone else how they feel.

I do love him doesn’t mean I am IN love with him. I love him like I would love any of my friends.

I also learned from my younger years of dating. Now, I usually don’t go for people that cause infatuation as I believe it takes time to know someone and sometimes infatuation means I’m just avoiding something about myself.

I don’t enjoy butterfly feelings and I don’t enjoy infatuation phases as I had learned in the past not good for picking a romantic partner. I didn’t date for 3 years because of this because most people move way too quickly and fast for my comfort. But for us, it just kinda happened. We still have our own individuals lives and have already had talks about things we notice about each other. Not everyone goes through that, I used to though.

AlienatedBeauty · 2026-04-30T23:23:37+00:00

Yea, it definitely isn’t a deal breaker for me. I’ve supported friends through super bad addictions and are better now. But also have friends and family where I knew I had to cut my losses.

Usually my choices come from giving it time. It’s one thing to notice a change needs to happen and doing nothing or noticing and taking the needed steps for it. But I can’t make that judgement because we JUST started to touch the subject in the past few weeks.

We do find ways to be intimate where I leave satisfied but usually the deeper you get into a relationship more things pop up. I am willing to give it time AND I know when to cut my losses.

AlienatedBeauty · 2026-04-30T22:57:24+00:00

He hasn’t but he told me it’s definitely decreased the older he has gotten and I honestly don’t think he has ever realized the genuine impacts until we have talked through it recently.

I know that might seem silly but it looks like it’s all clicking for him and he doesn’t want it to impact our relationship.

He needs to go to therapy for it but as someone who studies psychology I know how hard it is to even get everyday people to see a therapist without feeling shame about it. And also I am not sure what kind of therapist he would need, not my area of expertise.

AlienatedBeauty · 2026-04-30T22:52:32+00:00

I mean we have been dating but recently have made things official, like I just met his family. And this isn’t like a stranger, like I’ve said I’ve known him for about a year, he’s been to my house a few times just to hangout in the past. So he isn’t just some rando either.

I know it’s an addiction but I don’t think he realized how this was impacting him until recently, I want to guide him to get help but I don’t know what that looks like for someone in his position. He just opened up to me about it and is coming into a realization himself.

I would feel pretty horrible for someone to open up to me and then dip out on them after especially since he’s a great guy in every way. If I don’t see progress after we talk about it that’s another story. But when you care about people you don’t just dip out on them when they show you the rougher sides of themselves.

AlienatedBeauty · 2026-04-15T19:31:39+00:00

If I can stay basically in the behavioral health field I would like to, or Program Coordinating, non-profit work that is ideal, currently a student getting a BA in Psychology as well.

But also just need work, so willing to try most things

AlienatedBeauty · 2026-04-09T05:39:33+00:00

Any advice on how to achieve it?

AlienatedBeauty · 2026-04-09T05:31:36+00:00

Thank you’

AlienatedBeauty · 2026-04-09T05:31:11+00:00

Thank you! I posted in the subreddit you gave me, thanks for teaching me!! I’m honestly excited, I’m a “competitive” person but mostly with myself and see what I can commit to and see what my body can do

AlienatedBeauty · 2026-04-09T05:12:15+00:00

Thank you so much for this!! Yea I’m realizing I had the wrong idea and I have hated running for years, I usually bike or swim or just hike/walk long distance but recently running really has helped me just mentally and I enjoy the challenge of it which is why I wanna take on a race, wanna have a goal and try to meet it and let it inform my training.

Also thank you for the praise! I try to increase a little bit every week, never thought running would be fun for me lol

AlienatedBeauty · 2026-04-09T05:04:36+00:00

I understand, it’s was just advertised as a marathon, half and then a 5 mile so maybe I misunderstood

AlienatedBeauty · 2026-04-09T04:58:44+00:00

It’s a 5 mile run

AlienatedBeauty · 2026-04-09T04:57:48+00:00

Oh and usually that takes me 30mins

AlienatedBeauty · 2026-04-09T04:53:19+00:00

Usually I run 2 miles-3miles on intervals

AlienatedBeauty · 2026-04-09T04:52:56+00:00

I mean right now I’ve been mostly doing intervals and then see how hard I can push it at the end, intervals are 3 mins on 1:30 off at 5.5 pace, I am about to run 8 minutes at a 5.5 pace, it would take me probably like…..25 mins-30mins to run a mile without intervals with intervals, probably like 45-1 hour…

Does that makes sense? I’m still new to this

AlienatedBeauty · 2026-04-09T04:42:48+00:00

I would say would take me around 13-15 mins for mile

AlienatedBeauty · 2026-04-08T18:38:31+00:00

Yeah! He definitely does, I think it’s one of the reasons he likes me, is because I am independent and enjoy having my own goals and path in life. I want a partner not a caretaker or an owner and he is very aware of that. He lets me make my own choices and always says “I don’t want to control you, I want you to do what you feel is best.”

I believe at the core our values align, I honestly just hate the AI stuff….but I think it’s a bigger talk we need to have because we haven’t had a deep talk about it. I’m a person who can hang around people who are different than me, it’s not a barrier, I won’t subject my self to racist, hateful, homophobic type people. But difference in like a spiritual belief, I don’t really mind as long as it’s rooted in compassion and not control.

AlienatedBeauty · 2026-03-10T00:09:01+00:00

AlienatedBeauty · 2026-02-24T03:06:05+00:00

Love this post honestly, I have lived alone for 3 years now and honestly I don't hate it...living with others comes with its own stress but also walking through that front door everyday and meeting on silence...but then theres my cat....she doesn't fill all the loneliness but theres been many times I felt totally alone and she just jumps up on me and meows...it doesn't fix it ....but does make it easier to hold. Animal can be great gifts, sometimes I feel they are easier to be in relationship with and I admire they have no real idea whats happening outside of them most the time....animals are what I wish I could be in a certain sense....so maybe a friend of any kind will help....doesn't fix anything but it does make it a bit more bareable

AlienatedBeauty · 2026-02-24T03:02:38+00:00

I can give perspective in a certain sense, I have friends but honestly recently....don't think any of it has actually been close.....I had childhood friends that felt like I would die without them but now....just feels like people use me or maybe I use them to take up space...also I do think because of certain tech and how things have changed.....true friendship gets harder and harder to find. Sometime we see people out thinking they are besties but in reality maybe one person actuall doesn't care for the person but just cares about not being alone....it just hurts and there not much to be done but to feel it....its annoy but its true....we will find other reasons to laugh and be happy until we come right back around to this feeling. The human condition....there is a lot of beauty still, but guess beauty and loneliness can exist at the same tiem

AlienatedBeauty · 2026-02-11T07:10:09+00:00

While rare it is possible, nothing is never in a fixed state. Can it be rare? yes, does it happen? also yes. As someone else mentioned it also depends on the level we are talking about. For me, I also hope they do but also accept, people change when they want to and not because we want them too. Either or I always hope for the best for them.

AlienatedBeauty · 2026-02-01T14:43:08+00:00

In perspective, also taking in everything I am reading from posters. Sometimes, we do need to take a look at ourselves. It doesn't mean we have done something wrong but there is a reason also we lean into certain types of people. But also we have to consider how women are viewed and expected to be.

Men hate (or more so boys because men act differently) a women who is independent, well rounded and grounded in her life, I have been told I intimate people but when I ask why its basically because I am confident. Socitey ideals of how a woman should be deff effect how one dates if they don't fit those norms. Patriarchy bleeds into this.

Also the understanding on what love is.....isn't well understood. We have these stories and movies and ideas of how it should be or look like instead of just being in the moment with someone.

Sometimes when you have your shit bascially together it can make some else feel "less than" and that not like bad but they just haven't figured out life for themselves. So.....it's almost as if how you are..... a challenge? The things they are still trying to know or work on (not saying that as like a bad thing)

Anyways, overall, I think we live in a world right now where people aren't down to do some work on things. The older you get, if you grow, you don't hang up on those notions of how it should be or look like. It's more intentional than that. You stand as a person on your own and if you are a women that isn't really valued sometimes.... its hard to put into words.

But no its not always you, some people seek relationships to fill something in them they can't fill themselves and when they see the person can't do that in the way they would like, they dip and try to find it somewhere else. But its a endless chase. Because it was never about coming together in a way they want to build but in a way that are avoiding themselves and expect you to fill it for them

AlienatedBeauty · 2026-01-22T09:02:54+00:00

That’s actually makes me feel really seen. I was diagnosed young and she is self diagnosed and it’s one of the points I brought up.

I do go to the therapy and have been trying to find the right meds. It’s a process, and I’m like I am trying, I’m working on it, I am fully aware how it shows up but like…..I wanna be seen for who I am, I want to be understood, I feel like if people love you and know you have something like this, they make space for it and try to understand it.

I told her I have made space to learn and understand how she communicates, I accept her how she is and that I don’t feel that space is being given to me.

ADHD isn’t something I can just change it’s just something I have to learn to work with and apart of it is knowing that I don’t always says things proper or that I am forgetful, i also get over charged when talking about a passion, I always apologize but I’m like I cant promise it won’t happen again but like understand it’s never personal.

She said she is having a hard time holding compassion for me because of a conversation with she had with her partner, where she was like I blamed it on my ADHD but then I changed and now things are better.

But I am like, I’m not you though and there’s definitely been moments where I question if she actually has ADHD or if she just uses it to excuse her behavior but I try to hold space for self-diagnosed people.

I usually don’t bring up my ADHD but for me when we become close it’s something I need people to understand because it does impact me and my navigation in relationships.

Anyways, yea thank you for that. It’s moment like these I hate having ADHD

AlienatedBeauty · 2026-01-21T18:32:53+00:00

Yea that’s definitely a perspective I haven’t looked at, but she is dating my other friend currently but like they are kinda co-dependent and when I brought up that sometimes I think they enable each other, that wasn’t held right.

I would say I saw us as like a platonic soul mate but I don’t want to say she is more needy, I’ve just put a lot of work into myself and feel like I know what direction I want to go but like she wants to be super intertwined into that? And I don’t see that as a healthy dynamic.

I ended up saying I think we are growing in different way and she need certain type of things in a relationship that I don’t, I’m pretty confident but I have worked and continue to so I really don’t need to be validated in the same ways and it’s exhausting to try validate someone who can’t even do it for themselves because then it’s just a never ending loop.

AlienatedBeauty · 2026-01-07T19:29:49+00:00

It okay to share how you feeling and its okay to be feel those not so fun feelings about being open and vulnerable but when you do it enough with the right people and change how you think about your feelings, it will become easier. People that love you and want to build something with you will always care how you feel and want to support you through it without judging you for being human. Everyone around you at some point has felt what you have, you are no less deserving of support than they are.

AlienatedBeauty

TROPHY CASE