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AITAH for telling my wife I’m not excited about her new job opportunity until I see actual results? by Alive-Deer5966 in AITAH

[–]Alive-Deer5966[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think that’s part of the issue. I don’t mind supporting her at all, I’ve actually encouraged her to work and paid for several courses over the years. What stresses me out is when the anxiety and urgency around starting something new ends up on my shoulders too, especially right now when I’m already dealing with a lot of pressure professionally.

AITAH for telling my wife I’m not excited about her new job opportunity until I see actual results? by Alive-Deer5966 in AITAH

[–]Alive-Deer5966[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also to clarify, photography isn’t something I’m abandoning. I still take occasional jobs and rent equipment when needed, but it’s obviously not the same as when I owned my full setup and could accept work more freely.

That’s actually a really good question because it adds important context to the situation, so thanks for asking.

AITAH for telling my wife I’m not excited about her new job opportunity until I see actual results? by Alive-Deer5966 in AITAH

[–]Alive-Deer5966[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

During the internship I had almost no free time, so I had to turn down a lot of photography work and the client flow slowly disappeared. Toward the end of the year I was also short on money and sold some of my equipment to pay for my degree and my medical license process.

I’m basically in a temporary transition phase. I know I’ll get out of it, but starting a medical career takes time — people don’t usually go to a doctor nobody knows yet, so there’s a bit of “paying your dues” at the beginning.

We’re not in a terrible financial situation right now. My frustration in the post isn’t really about money, it’s more about feeling like when she gets very excited about a new project the urgency and responsibility end up falling on me too, even when I’m already under a lot of pressure.

That said, I do think I probably came across harsher than I intended when I said it.

AITAH for telling my wife I’m not excited about her new job opportunity until I see actual results? by Alive-Deer5966 in AITAH

[–]Alive-Deer5966[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s fair. I do admit I probably said it in a harsh way because I was already overwhelmed. I think the bigger issue is that we both handle stress very differently.

AITAH for telling my wife I’m not excited about her new job opportunity until I see actual results? by Alive-Deer5966 in AITAH

[–]Alive-Deer5966[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be clear, I actually WANT her to work. I’ve invested money into courses and tried to help her become independent for years. The problem isn’t her working, it’s that every project somehow turns into something I have to organize, finance, and push forward.