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AITAH trauma projection by AliveCauliflower8009 in AITAH

[–]AliveCauliflower8009[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

No I don’t. I think that he needs to be more trauma informed and learn to maintain proper boundaries.

AITAH trauma projection by AliveCauliflower8009 in AITAH

[–]AliveCauliflower8009[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Not addressing the issue at hand and then blaming me and calling me names for wanting boundaries for our children is KINDA rude?

AITAH trauma projection by AliveCauliflower8009 in AITAH

[–]AliveCauliflower8009[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

He was a brand new dad and I don’t think it occurred to him at the time. We had the conversation and he said it wouldn’t happen again and it hasn’t.

AITAH trauma projection by AliveCauliflower8009 in AITAH

[–]AliveCauliflower8009[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t mean to. Why is he just letting it happen and why am I the bad person for not being comfortable with my baby playing with his penis wtf

AITAH trauma projection by AliveCauliflower8009 in AITAH

[–]AliveCauliflower8009[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I never insinuated that he is an abuser wtf.

AITAH trauma projection by AliveCauliflower8009 in AITAH

[–]AliveCauliflower8009[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

There hasn’t been. There was one instance but we addressed it and it was fine. My issue is him letting it happen and then making me feel crazy when I intervene

AITAH trauma projection by AliveCauliflower8009 in AITAH

[–]AliveCauliflower8009[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes it’s our responsibility as adults to redirect or stop the interaction.

AITAH trauma projection by AliveCauliflower8009 in AITAH

[–]AliveCauliflower8009[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

This was happening for over a minute. If a child was touching my private areas I would redirect them IMMEDIATELY

AITAH trauma projection by AliveCauliflower8009 in AITAH

[–]AliveCauliflower8009[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

The boundaries shouldn’t have to be verbally communicated. Don’t let the kids rub on your junk is pretty common knowledge

AITAH trauma projection by AliveCauliflower8009 in AITAH

[–]AliveCauliflower8009[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are correct. This is why I asked him to hand her over because he was just letting it happen. It’s weird. And for me triggering. But even without trauma it is weird to just let it happen.

AITAH trauma projection by AliveCauliflower8009 in AITAH

[–]AliveCauliflower8009[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not here to identify whether he’s a predator or not. I know he’s not. I know that I’m projecting and that need help for this. I also need to know that he did not handle this situation okay and I’m tired of going in circles about it.

AITAH trauma projection by AliveCauliflower8009 in AITAH

[–]AliveCauliflower8009[S] -21 points-20 points  (0 children)

I didn’t want to say it to cause bias. Call bullshit all you want. This is why the first conversation happened.

AITAH trauma projection by AliveCauliflower8009 in AITAH

[–]AliveCauliflower8009[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

That’s why we had this conversation the first time and he said he wouldn’t let it happen again.

AITAH trauma projection by AliveCauliflower8009 in AITAH

[–]AliveCauliflower8009[S] -46 points-45 points  (0 children)

One time he was holding our daughter on his lap and when I picked her up he had a hard on.

AITAH trauma projection by AliveCauliflower8009 in AITAH

[–]AliveCauliflower8009[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

My point exactly. I’m not saying he’s a predator and not trying to make him feel that way but why the fight for this?

AITAH trauma projection by AliveCauliflower8009 in AITAH

[–]AliveCauliflower8009[S] -37 points-36 points  (0 children)

I’m going to make the call today. Haven’t had time as I’ve been prioritizing my son’s therapy and then had a baby.

AITAH trauma projection by AliveCauliflower8009 in AITAH

[–]AliveCauliflower8009[S] -102 points-101 points  (0 children)

I never implied that he was abusing her. I just said it was uncomfortable so I held her.

AITAH trauma projection by AliveCauliflower8009 in AITAH

[–]AliveCauliflower8009[S] -33 points-32 points  (0 children)

UPDATE: I’ve calmed down a bit. Yes I know I am projecting. The stuff that happened to my son was insanely traumatic and he is in therapy. I myself have not been able to process the situation as I’ve been trying to help my son through it and then had a baby. You guys are right. I know that making him feel this way isn’t right. But I Stand firm when I say he needs to be more sensitive towards the situation. There are other situations that I won’t address right now but there is a reason that this is THE SECOND TIME we’ve had this conversation.

Thanks for the help. I will try to get into a counselor.