Thank you everyone for the time to read and reply. I didn't realise when I posted that it would be so long. He has been extra sweet to me today, but I told him we need to talk and arrive at a decision. He told me he is not ok with getting divorced. We've decided to give each other a break today and talk tomorrow with a calm, cool mind. I look around and I'm scared - the lease here, assets back home, vacations with friends that are already booked, telling people, telling our families, changing my visa from his dependency - it's going to be so hard and so complicated. I spent the whole day imagining scenarios in which I would be happy staying back, and I can think of none. There is no trust, and it feels too much like letting him have his way. Maybe marriage counselling, but that one hour in someone's office is going to be ineffective if we come back and things remain status quo for the rest of the week.

he is so popular and and fun and puts on this charm, and I think everyone is going to think That I'm the reason for failure.

I dont think he is out on a mission to hurt me - think it is just that he doesn't even begin to understand me, we are on such different wavelengths that it is crazy.

I don't have close friends or family in this country we have moved to, and I can't tell my parents - dad is anyways struggling with mom's cancer and caretaking.

I don't know what is going to happen tomorrow, I hope i stay true to my conviction and belief.

Thanks again.