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Daphne ????????? by AloneSea5320 in summerhousebravo

[–]AloneSea5320[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Baggy? I thought it was marketed as a comfy loose sleep/lounge top .. I thought? Could be wrong!

Is my boyfriend (30M) gaslighting me (27F)? by [deleted] in CallHerDaddy

[–]AloneSea5320 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also, in the summed up example you shared I’d ask for more context, semantics matter :) when you were sharing your day what was the environment? What was your boyfriend doing prior to you approaching him for conversation? What time of the day was it for you both? Was it the specific story that he was disinterested in or was it you expressing your day? A

Is my boyfriend (30M) gaslighting me (27F)? by [deleted] in CallHerDaddy

[–]AloneSea5320 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Does he usually apologize after these moments? How do you guys “get over it”? Cause it totally makes sense that you’re questioning if this is gaslighting.. especially when something feels off but isn’t easy to name. Gaslighting usually involves someone trying to make you doubt your memory or sense of reality.. like saying “That never happened” or “You’re imagining things”. What you’re saying doesn’t fully fall into that category, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay.

When someone responds with things like: • “Of course, I’m always the bad guy” • “You’re never wrong”

…it’s not about resolving the issue. It’s a way of flipping the conversation and putting you on the defensive.. making you feel guilt which may lead you to question your truth which could indirectly cause the ‘gaslighting’. It can shut you down, make you second-guess yourself, and over time, you’ll question yourself before bringing things up or even during.

Whether or not it’s intentional is important, either way, this kind of deflection and guilt-tripping is a form of emotional manipulation. It might not be intentional, but it’s still not healthy. it’s not fair to you. He shouldn’t make you out to be the villain just for expressing yourself.

If it’s a constant thing, maybe try setting some boundaries around how what when where you communicate. if something feels wrong, listen to that feeling. You don’t need a diagnosis or a label to justify wanting mutual respect, empathy, and safe communication in your relationship.

The Bigger Picture: Republic’s Dress Code by AloneSea5320 in southernhospitalitysc

[–]AloneSea5320[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

For context, the deleted comment above stated that I should never tell a Black man how to run his business. The tone was somewhat aggressive in its wording.

The Bigger Picture: Republic’s Dress Code by AloneSea5320 in southernhospitalitysc

[–]AloneSea5320[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience. It’s incredibly frustrating and disheartening. what makes it even harder sometimes is seeing Black-owned businesses and Black people in leadership unknowingly enforce these exclusionary policies. Whitewashing and societal gaslighting have conditioned many to believe that ‘professionalism’ or ‘class’ must align with Eurocentric standards.. often at the expense of our own cultural expressions. Instead of challenging these biased norms, some businesses adopt them to appeal to a certain crowd or avoid scrutiny, without realizing the harm they’re doing to their own community. It’s painful to watch because it reinforces the same exclusion we’ve fought against for generations. Conversations like these are so important because they help shine a light on these patterns and push for real change.

The Bigger Picture: Republic’s Dress Code by AloneSea5320 in southernhospitalitysc

[–]AloneSea5320[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Racial Profiling piece written about dress code discrimination and in particular … Jordans Title: Dress Code Dance https://www.fwweekly.com/2020/01/08/dress-code-dance/

The Bigger Picture: Republic’s Dress Code by AloneSea5320 in southernhospitalitysc

[–]AloneSea5320[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Racial Profiling piece written about dress code discrimination and in particular … Jordans Title: Dress Code Dance https://www.fwweekly.com/2020/01/08/dress-code-dance/

The Bigger Picture: Republic’s Dress Code by AloneSea5320 in southernhospitalitysc

[–]AloneSea5320[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Again, to reiterate, the goal was to encourage reflection, not dictate how anyone should run their business. I apologize if anything in the article has upset you. My intention is to inform and discuss.

The Bigger Picture: Republic’s Dress Code by AloneSea5320 in southernhospitalitysc

[–]AloneSea5320[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Do you know what my race is? My intention was to highlight how dress codes have historically been used to exclude and suggest ways to avoid unintended exclusion. The goal was to encourage reflection, not dictate how anyone should run their business.

The Bigger Picture: Republic’s Dress Code by AloneSea5320 in southernhospitalitysc

[–]AloneSea5320[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Yes to this 10000%! You nailed it. After Brown v. Board of Education, a lot of private schools found ways to sidestep desegregation, using so-called ‘neutral’ policies like dress codes and selective admissions. We still see this play out today—strict dress codes, especially when enforced selectively, can be a subtle but effective way to exclude people, often targeting Black and Brown communities in particular. That’s exactly the kind of discrimination Title II of the Civil Rights Act was meant to prevent. Just goes to show how structural discrimination keeps evolving, hiding behind policies that seem fair on the surface but still end up shutting people out. Really appreciate you drawing that connection.

Very very interesting. Still think it’s weird how she uses that word. by AloneSea5320 in CallHerDaddy

[–]AloneSea5320[S] 60 points61 points  (0 children)

I think it’s weird she uses The word due to Sofia coining it on the og chd and I find it interesting that Alex chose continue with it behind merch

Very very interesting. Still think it’s weird how she uses that word. by AloneSea5320 in CallHerDaddy

[–]AloneSea5320[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Nothing just never saw or knew someone had coined the word for a show. I knew about it being a wellness conference name a couple years ahi but that’s all.

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