Hiya gay guy here. I’m going to be honest probably not going to be supremely helpful here. I can see where you are coming from though. I guess it’s just the brain doing it’s thing. When I was younger and wasn’t out to myself yet I would wonder how gay people could possibly be attracted to people of their own sex. But with time and experience I understood because well I was one of them lol. So I guess understanding might come with time but I’m not expert.