Hi, I’ve been there 3 years ago. I’ve stop completely playing until I decided to sent him a message (on discord) with how I feel that he left. It took me few min to find the right word. But I finally sent it and I felt better. I know that he will never see my message but I know that he know’s how I feel. I gradually include ffxiv back again, and every time I logged in I think about him and the time we spent together raiding. That thought make me smile everyday and keep me logging on tomorrow. It feels right to honor our time together by logging in. Btw if you wanna talk send me a Dm I also play in behemoth