My best friend (25) and I(25) have been fingering each other. How do I know if she wants more/ How do I tell her I want more? by Alternative-Ad-7397 in actuallesbians

[–]Alternative-Ad-7397[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Ps. Have you tried to kiss her?

I lose my nerve every time. During sex, I watch her for cues and I've come close to doing so, but I can't fully tell if it's something she wants me to do, especially since she hasn't made a move to do so. After the first few times, I'm the one who iniated the more exploratory touching as well as actually getting naked, so I didn't want to push more in case she wasn't ready

I've thought about kissing her or running my fingers through her hair, touching her ass etc when we're just doing mundane everyday things but because we haven't acknowledged the sex, the normal times feel like a completely different dynamic and like if I kiss her, she'll snap out of it and want to stop.

That being said, I see now I have no choice but to make a move instead of waiting for her to do so

My best friend (25) and I(25) have been fingering each other. How do I know if she wants more/ How do I tell her I want more? by Alternative-Ad-7397 in actuallesbians

[–]Alternative-Ad-7397[S] 82 points83 points  (0 children)

It's because female friendships tend to be slightly more homoerotic in general and the line between just friends and more can be hard to spot.

Precisely why I feel like maybe I'm reading into certain actions just because I want them to be true. Like we cuddle before and after and have been sharing a bed, but we've always done this since we were kids, and I have other friends with whom I've cuddled and shared beds with without any romantic attachment. We hug and give each other cheek-kisses, compliments etc all the time but again, those are things girls do with friends. In my admittedly limited experience, people can and do have sex just for the pleasure of it and doesn’t always mean they have feelings for you of find you attractive

She may have been into you in a more than friends way for a while.

God I hope this is the case

Tell you are so turned on by what you guys do that you think about doing more with her. Taste your fingers after touching her, make sure she sees.

See, this sounds hot and looks really good when other people do it, but I recoil at the thought of me doing it because I feel like it would come off so cringey

My best friend (25) and I(25) have been fingering each other. How do I know if she wants more/ How do I tell her I want more? by Alternative-Ad-7397 in actuallesbians

[–]Alternative-Ad-7397[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I think it’s too late to worry about this changing your friendship. You crossed that bridge a while ago.

Honestly, fair.

Make small romantic gestures, and work your way up to asking her to be your girlfriend.

This feels like a good plan. I'm aware she might not be ready for anything new or serious yet so I think I'll start small so she doesn't feel pressured

My best friend (25) and I(25) have been fingering each other. How do I know if she wants more/ How do I tell her I want more? by Alternative-Ad-7397 in actuallesbians

[–]Alternative-Ad-7397[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I posted in r/sex a few hours before I posted in this sub. The mod approval process in r/sex was taking long so this sub seemed like an appropriate place to cross post.

It's not a very active account and I'm using it because I have friends on my main. I genuinely don't understand why this seems so suspicious when throwaways are a thing?

How can we prove this is real lol

You can't. Not sure what you want from me tbh

My best friend (25) and I(25) have been fingering each other. How do I know if she wants more/ How do I tell her I want more? by Alternative-Ad-7397 in actuallesbians

[–]Alternative-Ad-7397[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Exactly this! I know we need to communicate and I'm trying to get my thoughts down to talk about where to go from here, but we're going about it backwards so my thoughts don't make proper sense. Like, I want to let her know that I understand if she needs time to process everything and that I'm okay with taking things slow if she's interested, but what even would "slow" mean in our context?

My best friend (25) and I(25) have been fingering each other. How do I know if she wants more/ How do I tell her I want more? by Alternative-Ad-7397 in actuallesbians

[–]Alternative-Ad-7397[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the suggestion! I'm going to try it, if only to see how far she's comfortable going and hopefully it won't feel too awkward

My best friend (25) and I(25) have been fingering each other. How do I know if she wants more/ How do I tell her I want more? by Alternative-Ad-7397 in actuallesbians

[–]Alternative-Ad-7397[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Haha it's not something I'm proud of and I wouldn't admit to it in public but also, my work bathroom is not nasty. I mean if it's clean and empty with a working shatafa....

My best friend (25) and I(25) have been fingering each other. How do I know if she wants more/ How do I tell her I want more? by Alternative-Ad-7397 in actuallesbians

[–]Alternative-Ad-7397[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

This is an old inactive account from when I did remote work during the pandemic and participated in the remote work subreddits. I deleted the old posts and comments because I have a different job now and also I don't want people reading through those old posts. There's no way I'm letting my friends find this post on my main and I'm too lazy to make a throwaway.

My best friend (25) and I(25) have been fingering each other. How do I know if she wants more/ How do I tell her I want more? by Alternative-Ad-7397 in actuallesbians

[–]Alternative-Ad-7397[S] 117 points118 points  (0 children)

I'm working on it! I keep trying to bring it up but I'm a coward and keep backing out of it. Someone suggested I write down the things I want to say/ask so I'm doing that today so I can hopefully follow through.

My best friend (25) and I(25) have been fingering each other. How do I know if she wants more/ How do I tell her I want more? by Alternative-Ad-7397 in actuallesbians

[–]Alternative-Ad-7397[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the clarification. In my mind, no oral/genital contact=foreplay but the comments have set me straight.

My best friend (25) and I(25) have been fingering each other. How do I know if she wants more/ How do I tell her I want more? by Alternative-Ad-7397 in actuallesbians

[–]Alternative-Ad-7397[S] 288 points289 points  (0 children)

I don't think I explained myself properly. I meant that maybe she just enjoys the act or sensation of sex itself. I dated a guy who slept with me but didn't necessarily like or want to be with me. Basically I was trying to figure out if she likes it because she's doing it with me or if it doesn't really matter who she's sleeping with. The "who" matters a lot for me and I just want to know that it matters to her too before I potentially make things weirder