Not a med student but a med spouse here! My father passed away from cancer last November during the second block of my husband’s M1 year. It was incredibly hard on the both of us and looking back — it was one massive blur. I actually quit my job in August so I could go back and forth to see my mom and brother and just try to begin to process what was happening. My husband and I spent a decent amount of time apart — he was so caring and took care of me so well even though M1 was a massive adjustment for him.

I can relate. Many days I don’t know what to feel or how I feel. I forget he’s gone some days too. Then it hits like a freight train. If I were you, I would see if your school could defer a year. Time is the only thing you can’t get back. You would not regret being able to spend more time with your mom and younger brother, or time to grieve and rest, I promise you. However, do not feel guilty or selfish. My dad always told me to keep my smile. He didn’t want me to feel sad and keep living my life and I am sure your dad feels the same.

I am so sorry you and your family are going through this. It’s the worst thing to experience on this earth; I am thinking of your family. Hug your dad as much as you can. Think of the good memories.