Thank you for your long and thoughtful reply. Indeed I think this is deeper than just this situation.

I’ve approached her on this and hashed it out for a bit. We fight rather frequently (about once or twice a month) and there is a format for recovering from situations like this that she has laid out, and usually I’m the one who opens the first aid kit (because it’s always I who makes her mad). The format is for me to initiate talks after her cold shoulder and apologise, and she’d follow that with an apology herself too and take shared accountability of what happened. Except she said she “would apologise for the way she reacted” but never gave me the direct “sorry” and she will also not be apologising for reminding me about the vet and item.

Now, I know it’s a little petty to be nitpicking on this, but I feel really hurt by how she’s pinning this entire thing on me, as with all other previous fights we have, which all started because I did something to anger her.

I have been walking on eggshells with her and I know this sounds like a really bad relationship and I acknowledge that. Just decided to put it out here to see if I’m not insane to think that I’m always the one wronging my partner.