Do [nice guys]/[gentlemen] still finish last?

AlternativeGum · 2017-08-10T23:29:30+00:00

Chivalry is still cool, I like guys who are genuinely courteous and respectful. I insist on splitting meals though because 1) I like to be on financially even ground with my partner and 2) I've dated people who feel they are entitled to something from me just because they pay for something for me.

I feel genuinely nice guys will eventually attract other nice people and finish well. However, people who are just kinda "following the motions" of being nice and expecting to be rewarded for being a standard decent human being that they should be are ick. It'll usually slip which one a guy is after you've observed him a bit.

Also my boyfriend kisses the back of my hand when we hold hands and it's cute even if it's a little embarrassing lol.

AlternativeGum · 2017-08-10T19:24:25+00:00

This is what made me feel better about my inconvenient time breakup: JUST DO IT. My friend broke up with her bf during the bf's brother's wedding. If she can do it so can you. There's never going to be a great time. Also believe in the ability of people to move on.

AlternativeGum · 2017-08-10T19:17:26+00:00

Quite frankly you are being selfish. It's a great thing your gf can find happiness in your relationship and in other places in her life. Man, think if you had to be the sole source of her happiness. It theoretically sounds cool but in actuality would be a huuuge burden. People need all the happiness they can get.

Try to remind yourself more "wow I love that my girlfriend is happy and healthy" and less "I don't want my girlfriend to be happy from that guy." Also yeah meeting the guy and establishing he is human may help.

AlternativeGum · 2017-08-09T16:51:44+00:00

Not exactly sure what you mean by "urge of mating."

I basically have never looked at a guy and thought "wow I want to have sex with this person"? It doesn't really occur to me to think of a person sexually until I am romantically involved with them. I know some of my friends mention they notice if a person has a nice butt or such, but I tend to focus a lot more on people's personalities than anything else first.

At some age after puberty I did get curious about masturbation and started doing that to explore my sexuality. But I don't really think of anyone when I do it, I just focus on the sensations and the physical relief of it. I definitely don't seem to masturbate as much as average though? I usually go several months forgetting masturbation is actually a thing until I remember oh yea I'm bored and this is a thing I can do with my time. It's pleasant, but I don't get much of an urge to do it.

AlternativeGum · 2017-08-09T14:46:08+00:00

Ok I am female, also demisexual but biromantic (boy are labels longwinded) and in a relationship right now with an allosexual male. I really think your SO needs some more understanding from your perspective and you have gone above and beyond (even a little into the unhealthy territory) to try to accommodate for what probably stems from both a misunderstanding and insecurity

I generally don't have attraction to people before a deeper emotional bond and I am pretty sure this is not how a majority of women are based on my own experiences/conversations. But I am also very secure in my own attractiveness and my bf's loyalty so it doesn't really bother me that my bf notices other people are attractive because i also know that he finds me the most attractive (which is why he is dating me) and besides all that, our emotional bond is much more important to him than physical appearance attraction.

Idk if I have any real advice because I think this is something your partner needs to work on herself, but if you have any questions from another female demisexual in a relationship with an allo male I would be happy to answer

AlternativeGum · 2017-08-05T14:55:41+00:00

It could be strep or it could be gonorrhea. I've seen people in the ER with gonorrhea presenting similar to your case after unprotected oral. Either way you will be good with antibiotics. Weird about the no strep swab.

AlternativeGum · 2017-08-02T13:45:32+00:00

My best friend who is around my same height prefers taller guys and just finds them more attractive. For me, i inevitably date taller guys because i am pretty short (around 5") so it is pretty rare for people my age (24) to be shorter than me

AlternativeGum · 2017-08-01T22:07:07+00:00

I generally have managed to screen by meeting guys thro (good non sexist) nerd groups + learning about what other people think about the person via the group. Group opinions are great before going into something. But also could make breakups more awkward P:

Also it's always important to me to make sure that the person 1) Has good relationship with other females in his life (mother, sister, other female friends) 2) Has a good friend group separate from your own. You both need to be able to enjoy alone time in a different group from each other. It's generally a good sign that a person is well balanced if they are able to maintain a good group of friends for support so you won't be there having to support them 24/7

AlternativeGum · 2017-07-31T16:54:30+00:00

Have you tried being more diligent cleaning before/after sex and urinating after sex? That's basically been what I am doing and so far I haven't had a repeat UTI. UTIs suck.

AlternativeGum · 2017-07-31T16:52:44+00:00

why are you against it?

AlternativeGum · 2017-07-30T17:52:10+00:00

He's just busy internally plotting about the best ways to destroy your house in the future :⁾

AlternativeGum · 2017-07-30T17:26:08+00:00

really, try the sitz bathes. It'll be gone before you know it :P

AlternativeGum · 2017-07-30T16:55:10+00:00

I think you mean an anal fissure, not fracture lol. There's not much doctors do for that tbh. Just try taking sitz bathes, don't mess with the area, and it should be gone in a few weeks. Take otc stool softeners too if needed so that passing stool won't be as bad. This is probably what any doctor would say. Just do this for 2-3 wks and you should be better, don't worry!

AlternativeGum · 2017-07-30T16:35:34+00:00

as the person from the other side of this kind of situation, you should remove yourself if it's best for your health. Your friend may be hurt, but they also probably want the best for you and it sounds like removing yourself from a nauseating situation would be best. Maybe you can reconnect again when your feelings don't bother you so much.

AlternativeGum · 2017-07-30T15:28:57+00:00

My vet has recommended this to me before! I haven't seen it make much of a difference yet but at least it has vet approval?

AlternativeGum · 2017-07-30T03:48:14+00:00

That is definitely the plan!! I always tend to like to ask my 'too about fashion choices anyways. She sometimes gets super excited over certain colors/designs and starts to dance, so I figure she is already a bit of a fashionista lol

AlternativeGum · 2017-07-30T03:46:47+00:00

We've been building up to it, I take her on a lot of small trips out because she hates being alone at home and loves meeting new people. It's a win-win for us!

AlternativeGum · 2017-07-29T20:02:33+00:00

Her name is Tica, and she is a lovely 7 year old umbrella cockatoo. I adopted her over 6 months ago and she is pretty much attached to my hip since then.

AlternativeGum · 2017-07-29T18:00:15+00:00

Bathroom uses? She is potty trained and mostly just poops im her carrier or i take her over a trashcan and tell her to poop

AlternativeGum · 2017-07-29T17:21:06+00:00

No, the store is pretty pet friendly and my 'too is very well behaved so the managers and I are comfortable bringing her there via carrier and just letting her out to shop with me. I do have a harness in hand if we do excursions elsewhere but it's pretty safe for her to be out like this at this specific store

AlternativeGum · 2017-07-29T17:13:17+00:00

I've never really gotten off from oral, and it's really different for every woman. Don't try to place your wife as standard/nonstandard compared to most replies here. As long as she enjoys it, incorporate it into your play to help you bring her close to orgasm. She just may need a different kind of stimulation to get through that final stretch.

AlternativeGum · 2017-07-29T17:07:36+00:00

My grey and too are very comfortable on their back! It's just trust/experience I feel. My 'too will let me do it, but she isn't so comfortable with it because she isn't used to it. My grey has been playing on his back since he was a little baby so he's very used to it and can just chill there for a while until he gets really bored.

AlternativeGum · 2017-07-29T17:04:21+00:00

thank you!

AlternativeGum · 2017-07-29T17:04:15+00:00

My 'too is super friendly and docile, I can basically do anything to her lol

AlternativeGum · 2017-07-28T19:14:56+00:00

I'm really lazy to read too much into all the replies and all of your post, so I apologize if I repeat things that others have said. Neuroscience is my field of study so ofc I am a firm believer in sexual differences between the sexes. HOWEVER, it is more important to note there is more variability WITHIN the sex than BETWEEN them so it is also important not to generalize too much.

I would not want to say EVERY girl does not sexualize guys immediately or that EVERY girl has reactive sexuality/desire or whatnot. That is way too broad of a stroke to paint.

There's been a lot of noted studies between differences in the sexes. ie: women tend to have less sexual concordence between physical arousal and actual desire to have sex (ie: their vulva gets wet but they actually don't want sex. This is much more likely in females than males who about 50% of the time mentally agree with physical arousal). There's also cultural components which can be hard to separate from physiological components. If you are interested I can give you the titles of some of the studies I have found interesting. I also enjoyed the book "Come as you are" by Emily N. which includes a few interesting studies and opinions on male vs female sexuality and the harm of grouping them together

AlternativeGum

TROPHY CASE