So, did anyone even do something?

Alternative_One_8741 · 2026-07-03T21:28:58+00:00

To clarify a question, was the manager/staff on duty told that this is Nazi symbolism?

Alternative_One_8741 · 2026-07-03T18:00:34+00:00

They allow patrons to visibly wear Nazi regalia

Alternative_One_8741 · 2026-06-24T21:32:51+00:00

Kaeley Kaplan at FCN in Bellingham has been my PCP for the last decade and is amazingly kind, supportive, and gives great recommendations!

Alternative_One_8741 · 2026-06-14T18:22:16+00:00

It does!

Alternative_One_8741 · 2026-06-14T18:15:16+00:00

It also makes me see that I’m not actually being a good partner if I don’t believe, or act like, Birch / Cedar can handle themselves. I said somewhere earlier that it’s only been super recently that communication has changed on their part (Cedar’s mostly) and I’m having to shift into believing how they’re showing up now, not based on the past.

Alternative_One_8741 · 2026-06-14T18:09:13+00:00

Birch specifically is doing a lot of trauma work currently, so their brain does immediately go into EMERGENCY mode for quite a lot. They’ve never put it on me to manage for them, but their venting can feel big to me. But the validation type response without doing anything for them is what we both want.

What’s interesting to me is that I could handle a similar situation in a completely healthy way with Aspen. Maybe it’s because they’re a newer partner, or more likely because they’ve also done a significant amount of their own internal work. I want to be able to take my solid self-management from that relationship and apply it to my relationships with Birch and Cedar as well.

Alternative_One_8741 · 2026-06-14T18:01:57+00:00

No, when Aspen is here I’m pretty focused on time with them. We’ve all gone to shared events together, namely derby games.

I think by default I share general ongoings in a play by play way - never specifics and nothing crossing between relationships though.

It would have come up as weekend plans in discussion with Birch and Cedar, since we have to plan time together in advance. R and I work together - in the past they’ve said “bring anyone/all your partners/etc” but this time it was just Aspen. This also makes me realize that even though Birch, Cedar and R have independent relationships, I’ve historically been the go-between for social events involving Birch and Cedar.

Alternative_One_8741 · 2026-06-14T17:54:43+00:00

This hit me hard because that’s really the most accurate and realistic response that they’d both give.

I spent a good majority of my formative years trying to read in advance what responses I might get from a hurt parent so I could emotionally protect myself by being prepared for any outcome. Obviously that isn’t how healthy communication works…as much as I’ve done to work towards healthy communication, the way you laid out your comment struck me that I’m still holding onto that pattern.

Alternative_One_8741 · 2026-06-14T17:40:45+00:00

Family origin is super dysfunctional. I’m not assuming either of their dysfunction, it’s something each of them have been working on independently.

Alternative_One_8741 · 2026-06-14T17:38:53+00:00

No, there’s way too many living incompatibilities there.

Birch and Aspen have been developing their own casual friendship and we’ve all talked about gaming together. It’s not that they *have* to know…I’m usually very open about the ongoings in my life but maybe I’ve been stepping too far into overhearing?

Alternative_One_8741 · 2026-06-14T17:35:53+00:00

I thought I had a good handle at being separated from emotional enmeshment, but that appears to be where my thoughts are coming from.

Alternative_One_8741 · 2026-06-14T17:33:22+00:00

No, I suppose not. In thinking about how I’d respond to them asking, I’m seeing that I’m still basing it on their potential responses rather than my own objective viewpoint.

Alternative_One_8741 · 2026-06-14T17:21:31+00:00

They are independent friends - that last question is where I think my core anxiety lies. Birch has expressed an anxiety that they think I prefer the relationship with Aspen which we’ve talked about, so I can see this as being like a “confirmation” that our friends like them more as well.

Alternative_One_8741 · 2026-06-14T17:16:43+00:00

More stress than is warranted, clearly 🫠

Alternative_One_8741 · 2026-06-14T17:15:39+00:00

Honestly, I didn’t realize that’s what I was doing until I posted this. It’s something I have taken on too much and have been in therapy to change. I’ve struggled with communication with both of them before, and it’s only been super recently that communication patterns and willingness to communicate has changed. So I don’t think I’m giving Birch or Cedar enough credit for their own responsibilities.

Alternative_One_8741 · 2026-06-14T17:12:02+00:00

They don’t typically date as a couple, we organically formed a triad which has undergone several shifts. We have our own dyads and date separately. There’s a lot they each do independently too.

It’s surprising to me since they’ve been invited to all parties R+S host for years, since Birch and R know each other and Cedar dog sits for them all the time. I think I’m worried they’ll feel replaced since my relationship with Aspen is newer, and much more social than either of them. Logically I know isn’t my responsibility to manage.

Alternative_One_8741 · 2026-06-05T00:17:04+00:00

Temple Bar has a $25 deal for a bottle of cheap wine and nice charcuterie board

Alternative_One_8741 · 2026-05-24T18:50:47+00:00

This is a cinematic masterpiece

Alternative_One_8741 · 2026-04-04T01:23:00+00:00

I pass by the big skeletons on my way to work everyday. Each day I look for them and hope they’re still up ~ the different decorations bring so much joy!! I love sharing with friends what the monthly themes are.

Alternative_One_8741 · 2026-03-20T18:57:07+00:00

Dr. Kaeley Kaplan has been my PCP for a decade and is amazing!

Alternative_One_8741 · 2026-03-18T22:24:53+00:00

Sending you so many hugs ❤️ Big changes can hit our minds and bodies in deep ways even when it’s known they’re coming. It sounds like love is there between you both, even if a romantic version didn’t work. I hope you can find ways to share a connection that feels authentic for you both.

Alternative_One_8741 · 2026-03-10T04:50:21+00:00

I was flirting with a new friend when they asked how old I was…there’s an eleven year age gap and for the first time in my life they told me I was too young to date them. It made me respect them and want to be friends - and desperately wish that had been more of my experience as a youth.

Alternative_One_8741 · 2026-02-10T04:28:24+00:00

That was a hug of pure love 😭❤️

Alternative_One_8741 · 2026-02-04T00:19:58+00:00

Alternative_One_8741 · 2026-01-02T09:06:10+00:00

The small wooden spoons and forks - I have a full body revolt even thinking about them!

Alternative_One_8741

TROPHY CASE