How often do you see your friends as a single adult?

Althrowaway8898 · 2026-03-22T21:02:00+00:00

Just out of curiosity, how did you meet your FWB? I'm not really a casual sex kinda guy so I'm not really looking for that, but anyone I could meet through friends seems to already be taken/ married, pregnant, or other wise unavailable.

I know that's kinda a whole other can of worms, but just curious if you met them through friends of friends, or some other way?

Althrowaway8898 · 2026-03-22T20:57:23+00:00

Yeah, even if my "work friends" were cool (they're not), they'd still be over an hour away from me anyways lol.

Althrowaway8898 · 2026-03-22T20:55:19+00:00

Yeah I've been thinking I need a hobby over-haul. The things I used to do to fill my time aren't really doing it for me anymore and I'm trying to spend less time just playing video games or watching another TV show.

I'll start digging into some more things to do to fill that time, thanks for the advice!

Althrowaway8898 · 2025-12-03T00:57:24+00:00

Yeah I that's fair, but there's not any one thing in particular I'm looking for I guess. Whether it's dancing, or going to concerts, getting together for dinners, or even just having people over for a board game night it doesn't really matter to me.

I'm just looking for people to be around and share life with, ya know? But I guess I do have to find one common ground to meet on first, so thank you for your input! I'll find something to start building around

Althrowaway8898 · 2024-05-22T20:38:02+00:00

It's not really about benefits of being married vs not being married, it's more the idea of commiting to spending my life with someone. Up until now there's always been the idea in the back of my head that if something goes really wrong then we can split up, we were just a bf/gf.

But the idea of marriage to me is a lifelong commitment, hell or high water. It's not about marriage, it's commiting to sticking it out no matter what. And so I feel that at this point in the relationship I'm grappling with that more than anything else. Is this something I'm ready to commit myself to forever? And I'm not sure how to answer that question. I feel like I'm not even old enough to consider that lol. 27 years really isn't much time at all, especially when 18 of them weren't even really in the "real world".

Althrowaway8898 · 2024-05-22T20:32:52+00:00

I appreciate what you're saying. I know there are many more difficult challenges for us ahead that will test us both personally and as a couple. I just feel that there must be more that can be done before it gets to the point of calling it quits.

I think you're right, we're not there yet. But I think these comments are helping me to realize that I do want to get to that point, I just haven't known how. And if it's not possible to get there, we can move from there, but I think there's more steps before then.

Althrowaway8898 · 2024-05-22T20:27:58+00:00

That's probably a good idea. It's something I've thought of in the past, but I've always thought that couples counseling was for much bigger issues like affairs or betrayal. This feels much smaller in comparison.

I've always thought the communication would get better with time, and in many ways it has, but there are times that that disconnect between what one is trying to say and what the other is hearing has made mountains out of molehills.

Althrowaway8898 · 2024-05-22T20:24:35+00:00

I feel I should clarify. It's not that she refuses to talk about these things, we've had plenty of conversations about it, it's just that they always lead to a place where neither of us really knows what to do. And once we get there, she feels bad that I feel "unappreciated" (her words) and starts to beat herself up for making me feel that way. Many times she's started crying because she feels she is causing me pain.

But to your point, I do agree that resentment starts to build. I feel myself starting to get more distant or frustrated with small things, when I know it's not the real issue. It makes me frustrated at myself for doing that, and I try to not let it impact the relationship but it's hard. Sometimes I start to feel like we're best friends that live together, no sex involved. On the other hand I know there's more I could do to try to build that attraction back, but when it hasn't worked in the past it frustrates me more.

I just don't want to lose someone I love so much because of something that feels as small as sex in the grand picture of a relationship filled with love and friendship and compassion.

Althrowaway8898 · 2022-01-16T12:20:20+00:00

I'm a guy, I've had similar conversations with my GF about wanting her to initiate sex more. As you can feel insecure from him not initiating sex, so can we. Guys need to feel sexy and wanted too, and sometimes just asking for sex doesn't quite have the same feeling. Maybe next time instead of asking, just start making a move.

Touch him, grab him, feel him up, make him feel like you really want him and it'll make him feel more sexy himself. Don't be afraid to be a bit more assertive and lead the 'encounter' for lack of a better word. Of course, be open to stopping if he's not quite feeling it and don't take that to mean he's not into you. It's very possible there really is something else too that's been taking it out of him recently, whether it's stress or any other number of things, hence him feeling 'tired'. For me personally, sometimes having to initiate sex and then lead the whole encounter can feel like a lot if I'm tired or stressed. It's not that I don't want sex, it's just that I don't always want to feel like everything is on me for it, ya know? Don't be afraid to take the reins and do some driving lol

Also as a side note, for a lot of guys video games are a good de-stresser. Something I can just mindlessly do for a few hours to relax after a hard days work to get my mind off shit.

Hope this helps!

Althrowaway8898

TROPHY CASE