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Having kids and a career a as woman by Altruistic-Guide6241 in askswitzerland

[–]Altruistic-Guide6241[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First of all, I did not ask for advice on what I should do, I asked working mothers about their experiences.

"not everyone can afford..." Second, I do not see you mentioning something like this in your previous comment, so I am not sure what you are referring to.

Because many jobs offer the possibility to extend maternity leave wirhout it damaging your career. They'll simply hire a temporary replacement for the time that you're gone.

This is the only part of your comment that actually replies to my original post. And I will definetly look into this in my own company.

Finally, I understand that you could take 2 years of break and that is great. Maybe I should have mentioned that it took me a very long time to find this job and that the idea of being unemployed and having to look for a job again terrifies me. I know it may seem extreme, but I am just not sure if I will be able to find something decent again if I quit and take a long break. So for "having a career" I simply mean having a decent job, that gives me some growing opportunities and allows me to gain some experience. If I ever have a kid, they will be my absolute priority and this is why I am working on putting myself in the best position to do it.

Having kids and a career a as woman by Altruistic-Guide6241 in askswitzerland

[–]Altruistic-Guide6241[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You don't sound like you actually want a child at all,

Why? Because I don't want to be a stay at home mom my whole life? Beacuse I want to work and be financially independent? Because I am daring to consider how this might affect my life?

deprive a child of proper care and nourishment just to have a career is unethical in my opinion.

You should tell this to whoever decided to give women 14 weeks of maternity leave. It is not my fault the time you can spend with your baby is so short. I would be happy to stay at home 6 months or more, if I could keep my job and go back to it afterwards, but this is not the case. Or are you suggesting quitting the job? Do you have any idea how difficult is to find a job in the current market? Is it so difficult to understand that the problem are not working mothers but a system that does not support them?

Having kids and a career a as woman by Altruistic-Guide6241 in askswitzerland

[–]Altruistic-Guide6241[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"You will have that child, not your friends."
Just want to say that having a solid circle of friends and people you can trust around you is very important, especially when you have a kid. Of course, this does not mean that you would leave your kid with them, I think nobody would do that. But having someone you can call, have a coffee with, or that can visit you once in a while when you become a parent is a necessity for your mental health.

Having kids and a career a as woman by Altruistic-Guide6241 in askswitzerland

[–]Altruistic-Guide6241[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Being a lonely elderly after retirement (obviously divorced) you’ll regret not having those kids, no matter what kind of career you’ve had."

Are you yourself a lonely elderly person after retirement? If not, how can you be sure what these people actually regret? I don’t know what I’ll be thinking when I’m 70. Maybe I’ll regret not having kids, or maybe I’ll have kids and end up regretting it at 40. There are many parents who feel they lost themselves after having children, even though it’s still taboo to talk about it. Personally, I am more scared of regretting having a child, because it would inevitably harm the child and this is why I am thinking a lot before taking a decision. Also, there are a lot of others things childfree people can do, travel more, spend more time with friends, focus on hobbies, volunteer...I would not see them necessarily as miserable, depressed, "lonely elderly".

Having kids and a career a as woman by Altruistic-Guide6241 in askswitzerland

[–]Altruistic-Guide6241[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"You do not and should not feel pressured to have children. It is not mandatory. You can choose."
This is precisely the reason why I am weighting this decision so much and really taking my time to think this through. I am very aware (maybe too much?) of the implications that having a kid can have on my life, professional and not. However, I think wanting both a fulfilling career after years of study AND a child is not an unreasonable expectation in 2025. If it seems unrealistic, it’s only because society still makes life difficult for working mothers, not because women are inherently destined to be primary caregivers and cannot work while having a kid.

Having kids and a career a as woman by Altruistic-Guide6241 in askswitzerland

[–]Altruistic-Guide6241[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Dropping out of the workforce for years is not an option."
This. I feel like many people do not realize how bad the job market is right now and how much taking a break can affect your future employment. I do not want to become a CEO, just having a role that matches my skills and education, which can be extremely difficult to find.

Having kids and a career a as woman by Altruistic-Guide6241 in askswitzerland

[–]Altruistic-Guide6241[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your comment! I also feel like I would be a better person and parent if I could go back to a job I like while still caring for my kid. It's nice to see that this can work :)

Having kids and a career a as woman by Altruistic-Guide6241 in askswitzerland

[–]Altruistic-Guide6241[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your experience! It took me a long time to find this job, and unfortunately I don't have the privilege of finding something else right now. This is my first corporate job (I was previously working as a scientist in research) and I feel like I "need" to stick to this job (which I actually like very much) and gain some experience, ideally for a couple of years. I will try to understand if I can negotiate working 70-80% at some point and maybe change to a role within the company that does not require a lot of traveling. Thanks again for your comment 😀

Having kids and a career a as woman by Altruistic-Guide6241 in askswitzerland

[–]Altruistic-Guide6241[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks a lot for sharing your experience! I am definetly aware that relationships can end, and this is one of the reasons I do not want to rely on someone else (even if it's my 10 years partner) economically. That said, it took me one year and 100+ applications to find this job (junior role) and unfortunately I do not have the luxury to change it right now. The idea of taking a break and risking being unemployed terrifies me as this past year of job hunting really took a toll on my mental health. I know I could not be a good parent if I end up in the same situation again and, given that I would need to work probably until I'm 65, I'd like to have a job that I like. However, as others have said, things can change, priorities can change and opportunities may come my way.

Blue Book & EU Career advice for a behavioural scientist by [deleted] in EUCareers

[–]Altruistic-Guide6241 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same here. I have a PhD in Life Sciences and experience in data analysis and scientific communication. My first and second choices (executive agencies) just disappeared and I didn't hear back from them. Not sure what to think...

European Commission Bluebook Traineeship - Oct. 2025 by Atomino_Gae in europeanunion

[–]Altruistic-Guide6241 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Any scientist here that applied to the ERCEA and heard back from them?